Why do I think I can do this?

OKay,  so on the surface this definitely seems to be a truly stupidly crazy undertaking,  especially to take a family along. So why on earth would I do it?

As I wrote in my first post,  I definitely have qualities in my personality that mirror Kali-Ma. Something that my husband says he no longer fears.  I essentially hit a breaking  point,  & everything is destroyed so I can start over fresh.  Sometimes it results in improvement,  hands down. Sometimes, it seems more of a sideways change that just buys me some sanity time.

Either way, it keeps me from falling off the deep end permanently.

Is change hard?  Most definitely!
It it worth it? Certainly!

Now, this confidence didn’t come overnight.

One landlord let us work of rent repairing her houses,  but wanted repairs to be cosmetic & quick.  Thus, many times we found ourselves saying – shouldn’t this be done differently? The answer was always yes,  but that’s not what she wants – gotta do what the boss orders.

Another landlord gave us the same deal,  but actually had us do the work the right way.  We learned much more useful skills with her projects.

Then there was the 3 sheds & 3 decks I helped my dad build as a kid. A frightening stressful endeavor,  but which gave me skills I’ve used many times  over.

Then several roof repairs/maintenance both on my parents homes,  & my first mobile home.

My first mobile home I bought when I was in college.  I remodeled the bathroom,  put  in new flooring,  replaced the kitchen sink & faucets, & light fixtures.  Replaced electrical,  & painted.  It ended up being down right beautiful on the inside,  but was still just as plain (ugly) as this one on the outside. In fact I’m pretty certain both trailers were manufactured in the same  era,  they are so similar.

In fact I’ve been wondering if this trailer is some  universal do-over,  seeing as how I lost the first one because the property it was on foreclosed & I couldn’t afford the 6 grand to move it.

Our past doesn’t define us, but does provide lessons on what works & what doesn’t.  Don’t live in the past,  just use it as a guide for future decisions.

For instance,  if the friend with the trailer didn’t already own her land,  I’d  have  been much less likely to say yes to this endeavor. Since her land is paid for its less risky this time around.  Also, not having to pay for  the trailer means more resources available for rebuild, which means even the exterior will be re-done.

I’ve done  everything needed for  this rebuild in the past, but in small snippets. This time is large scale,  everything at once. Pace yourself!

Just need to maintain my sanity for as long as it takes. … Cross your fingers for me/us!

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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