Joyous Hana-kwanza-chrisma-yule-ness

It’s the holiday season. Joyful happy wishes abound. Hallmark channel will sure help lift the mood. That or a thousand classic holiday movies.

We’ve had a tiny Charlie-Brown-Esque celebration this morning, for us technically a belated Yule celebration being I worked the last several days. It’s followed by a trip to friends for the misfits Christmas party this evening.

I’ve had a mild head-cold all week, and I’m just run down from working too much, but I’m doing my best to stay buoyant. Sleeping in with cute kitties was a bonus.

( I’d show pics of the rest of our celebration, but Nathan and Anya did all the photo taking so I’ll get those later on.)

My day off started at about 7pm last night. Despite very much looking forward to my time off and being in generally good spirits, the boy has weighed heavily on my mind. 

I felt him all day yesterday and though it was nice to feel him, especially in my heart being afire, I couldn’t help but wish I’d hear from him or even see him. It’s very confusing to feel him like that periodically, but not have anything else. He’s only ever validated the connection once and though I know that should be enough I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t talk about it, and why he’s quit communicating all together. My natural inclination is to blame myself, but I constantly work at reminding myself it is much more complex than that. I’ve resigned myself to loving him as I can, and knowing that some day, maybe after I die, I’ll understand fully.

So I pushed him out of my mind and slept mostly well, save for a scary dream about Nathan and health stuff. He’s actually doing OK, as far as current doctors are concerned. He’s working on the low kidney function, brought his sugars back down, and his blood pressure is getting there. He’s even finally got the black lines diagnosed. Apparently, if it had been the scary melanoma there would have been other symptoms with the line. The doctor was sure it was a fungus that produces a similar line and has started an anti fungal treatment with caution to watch for the other symptoms of the melanoma or the lines failing to dissipate. So essentially Nathan is, as far as we know, getting better.

That is a blessing. Our tiny celebration is a blessing. I had a good laugh over the kittens finding great fun in new cat toys and some catnip this morning. We’ve even been told of some possible houses that are coming open soon. So things are generally OK to hopeful.

Amidst laughing over kitties and having sweets with kids, I suddenly felt funny like I was going to pass out. Nathan immediately took my blood pressure and discovered I was very low. Kind of a good thing, but I need to keep it from being so low that I actually pass out. So the last few hours I’ve been downing liquids with electrolytes added and attempting to get my salt intake up, and I took a couple of extra iron supplements just in case. Also a blessing. Low is better than high in pregnancy and much easier to control. A couple of days of diligent liquid and iron intake and I should be fine.

And baby didn’t seem to mind she/he kicked several times during and has been very active  since. I’m sure baby is enjoying the electrolyte boost as much as I am. I’m grateful that I’m feeling baby more and more these days. It makes the efforts worth it. I finally am starting to actually feel pregnant, now that my belly is unmistakably showing it!

I hope everyone reading can find their blessings and happy moments and feel improvement on its way. May the spirit of the holidays bring you peace, joy, and hope. Be well and many blessings.

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