Merely a Tool for Introspection

So for the last 15 or so years I’ve occasionally pulled cards for clarity on inner guidance. Tonight I had a couple of hours to myself and decided to do just that.

My husband has always found my card readings to be very entertaining, and needless to say I never read for others only me and him. I rarely use set layouts, and the deck of choice depends on the day. Heck sometimes I’ve even used more than one deck in a single reading- I remember one time I was trying to figure out something fairly complex and involved 4 decks at once. For me I listen to my inner voice for guidance, and if I’m looking for particular info I say that as I’m shuffling and picking decks.

Tonight my request for clarity was on all things of late. I set intention for the top row to represent 2 people (top left & center) and myself (top right) with supporting info along the bottom row.

I used a new deck that Nathan had recently ordered through Wish- just for fun & to see if it would be helpful.

I set the aforementioned intention as I shuffled & as soon as I “heard” my inner voice/thought-dialogue say “cut”, I did just that. Then proceeded to lay cards in the order intended while shuffling.

I got the following layout:

The lighting sucked and was making it hard to see, so I carefully gathered everything and moved to the bedroom with all the lights on. Much better, but as I was re-laying the cards a single card fell off the deck, so I included it to the side & took an individual picture.

At that point Buddy decided he wanted loves and made himself very comfortable with utter disregard to what I’d started. It was OK. I petted whilst I looked at cards and looked things up.

I always start with my first blush impression:

 I noted that the 3 cards intended for people matched their genders, but there was a 4th woman “Empress” in the supporting info cards- I had a guess as to whom that might be (my great friend helping plan backup birth solutions).

 I knew that the top left card generally has to do with illusionary limitations or restrictions, so that person was likely dealing with that in some way, which did make sense to me. 

I noted that an awful lot of the cards were upside down: not always a bad thing, it can simply represent an over arching theme of feeling like things are upside down, which I must say is accurate from my perspective.

I noticed the lovers card, which was unintended validation of a portion of my quandary.

I noticed a theme of financial queries, which again is unintended validation of related concerns- though I myself wish it wasn’t.

Finally, my extra card was a simplified traditional version of my life goal. Home and family and prosperity. Yet what struck me the most was the baby and dog. I’ve been “dogged” by thoughts and messages involving dogs since my healing dream last summer, and I’m pregnant with baby. Hmm.

The last thing of note was the big cat of strength. That of Big Cats, like the dog, has been a common theme for me, reoccurring very frequently since last summer.

Those elements of dog & big cat, they are not readily defined in tarot meanings. I suspect they are either representative of a real figure/being (adopting a dog, the mountain lioness that lives around us, etc), or represent personalities at play for me in real people. Either way, this reading only reiterated, not giving a clearer meaning on that.

So, then I looked up details. I felt the clearest most easily understood definitions of each card were the ones I found through Biddy Tarot, though I did look at several other pages in my process.

I must say after reading each meaning especially considering the reversed meanings, I do feel like this was a helpful reading. It does give me some clarity.

And yes, “strength” reversed in my own spot is accurate: I do need to stop doubting and second guessing myself and relax back into my inner knowing and resulting strength. That really was the basis of even taking these couple of hours for introspection. I knew I’d  slipped in that realm, and having a physical validation of that helps.

So, regardless of the accuracy of the rest of the cards, I’m walking away with: keep listening to my inner me, and keep reaching for that 10 of pentacles/coins happy ending gift. I’d totally take the dog, dome home, and extended family living happily ever after. More trusting and more patience. Things will get better, one way or another.

May all of you find your personal tool(s) of introspection and reliably connect with your inner self.

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