Drawing nearer.

I know baby is close now. I literally feel it, and it’s like she’s holding on for me to be ready. On one hand I’m grateful she’s not already surprised me, on the other hand I’m on the verge of panic because we’re so far from where I’d like to be.

It’s not that I can’t do things later after some down time with baby, it’s just that I really wanted some semblance of normal and pretty to resume for baby to arrive in. Right now, 1 room is done, 2 are very close, & our family/tv/exercise/art room is still an utter mess. I’m attempting to finish at least Ian’s room today, it’s so very close. Merely some trim and furniture and a curtain to call it ready. Then we can put all his stuff away & let him have his bed again.

Last night my panic got the better of me and despite knowing that my husband is struggling health wise again, I blew up at him over his slow pace & mistakes.

I know his blood pressure is really high again. He waited until it was really bad to tell me because he’s been trying to get the doctor’s office to respond. When they finally did yesterday they explained his Tribenzor medication had been removed from the assistance program, but the drug company had not notified them, and that was why they couldn’t get him refilled. He had an appointment this morning, and I have yet to see him, but he says they’ve given him new prescriptions to try & find cheaply on his own. I’m really hating this so called medical system we have.

Anyway, in my panicked frenzie post blow up, I accidentally nailed my finger. I was pushing, doing everything myself, and Hannah came down to try to talk to me. Between upset over the day’s progression, my sense of impending doom, and trying in vain to answer her questions, I missed the stud trying to nail corner trim in place, & it curved out the edge of the wood and directly into my finger.

Amazingly, it missed everything vital, somehow going right through the open spaces of my knuckle joint, so today it’s just stiff and sore with minimal bruising.

Anyway, if we actually get Ian’s room finished this afternoon, I’ll post pictures later. I’m probably going to keep his bed at normal height for now because it’ll take more power tools & lumber to convert it to loft height. Not on the list for today.

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