Wishing I was a better translator.

I’ve come to the conclusion that many of my messages the last couple of years were merely the other-side or divine saying hi, a few were actually ‘heads up’ type messages of events that did occur (though clarity only came in hindsight), and the last group I can only speculate. So there in lies where I wish I was a better translator.

I’m beginning to think though that many of them must have been either metaphor or bait.

There were many thoughts, dreams, etc. about “the boy” & his wife that I’ve decided must have been metaphor. I simply can’t find any other way to make sense of them at this point. I also have come to the conclusion that the whole situation must be the divines’ sense of humor providing bait. Which I’m not sure whether to be annoyed or amused over that.

On one hand it really got my hopes up, to have much of what I hoped just fizzle and disappear. At least it seems as such at this time.

Yet, it provided a long needed distraction from the challenges of life and at the same time enabled me to be in a state of much greater allowing for the better part of 2 years. I felt appreciated, I felt attractive again, I felt like my dreams were not just OK to talk about, but something actually worth believing in and sharing. I enjoyed the feeling of connection- especially the energy flow, I enjoyed quality new “getting to know someone” conversations. I was mostly happy despite still being in much less than ideal physical situations. I felt like I was able to express myself to someone new & different, but someone that still cared. It definitely helped me to see some of my own positive qualities. When I think back there are lots of good feelings that were conjured.

So from the law of attraction standpoint it was essentially a good thing regardless. I can even see how some of the small things I’d talked about in that time with him have manifested, which does make me feel excitement for what else might also be working on manifesting.

I even found a place of love for essentially what was a stranger, and one that wasn’t even completely honest with me. I’m not so naive to think he was perfectly truthful, but I somehow could sense (when I knew he was lying about something) that ultimately he’d reasoned it was needed. In the way that kids think it’ll keep them safe or somehow reduce consequences. I had a sense that really he was a good person, albeit a little confused or split in his desires, and in attempting to reconcile that split, he hid things. It didn’t help I knew I was providing a whole new perspective from his that probably challenged and even shattered some of his beliefs or views. So, ultimately, even though he’s moved on, I still hold love and wish only the best for him, occasionally saying a prayer that he might figure out how to reconcile his desires and find his happiness.

Abraham Hicks & Christ both say we’re supposed to be able to do that with everyone in our experience. I’ve yet to only find that capacity with a few people in my life. Maybe this situation has helped me to figure out how to make it easier to apply to more people. It’s worth a try.

Regardless, what I started with him, continued for a while with Hannah-at least before moving in, chaos, and baby’s birth put it on the sidelines. We 4 (including Nathan) share similar goals, so close it’s uncanny. There is definitely a lot of overlap. Nathan thinks it’s amazing, I consider it wonderful. I wish there were more of us to put action to the dreams. Yet, any way I look at that fact, I come up thinking: hopefully one of us figures out how to make it happen.

So I’ll close with what Hannah and I talked about last, before baby came into the world.

We had talked about the big dome. How she’d always thought of one style of earth home construction, and my showing her pictures of monolithic domes enabled her to see they have a similar look and feel, but are more stable, energy efficient, and more secure long term. We talked of things we had thought about for inside the home and considerations for how many people/ rooms to contemplate, & how family would function.

We talked about greenhouses and how similar our desires were in that regard too.

We even spoke of where this Atira concept might happen. I told her I’d thought Colorado might be a good place and my reasoning, but that I really didn’t know anything about the physicality of where in that state. Then in looking at my old artwork she noticed I’d used the same mountains in many of my images. I explained I didn’t really know where those mountains were, just that I’d found a magazine clipping of them years ago I’d liked and kept using it. She was confident it was very similar to some in the “garden of the gods” area, and proceeded to tell me about that part of Colorado, being that it’s one of her favorite areas in all the places she’s been.

All around it was a very feel good conversation, and reminded me of the many other good conversations with the boy, and early in mine and Nathan’s relationship.

To that end I did sketches of the dome to share with Hannah. So I’ll share them here too:

& once we started moving in, she insisted my painting of Atira get hung in the kitchen where everyone frequents. I appreciate that a lot, it helps.

I hope we all figure out how to be better translators and more loving to others in our world, and maybe, just maybe, one day, there will be many Atiras all over the world. That would be wonderful.

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