“Free your mind and the rest will follow… Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me.”
I am complex, I am strong, I am independent, I am intelligent, and yes a bit odd.
That last sentiment I saw staring me in the face headed from work yesterday, or was it the day before, my days are blurring together.
Anyway, SH7 UOD was the plate which my brain clearly and quickly deciphered to “shit you odd”. I nodded at whomever aligned that into my experience, with a mere ‘touche’ for my response.
I know I’m odd, but I also know: have a strong sense and feeling of connection to the Divine, an awful lot of my days. So I’m not so concerned about my oddness. I think some day it will be of great benefit to me, I’m just not there yet.
For now, the “normal” parts of me are of most benefit.
My immense work ethic and capabilities are not only handling a 40 hour work week with an employer, but maintaining my current massage load with a minimum of rescheduling or mistakes.
In addition, I have a whole slew of little wins I am happy I can mention.
I blew everyone away with my veterans day service. It was last Saturday, and I stressed immensely over it, especially when organizing it and decorating for it. When the service started I had the pianist play a short intro and launched into the speech. It was mostly borrowed verbage from my boss’ previous year’s speech, due to organizing time constraints, but I owned the presentation and delivered it with unwavering knowing. We sang; I and another volunteer delivered certificates of appreciation with a minor token of gratitude. I offered flags to all present, and everyone sang some more. I added a few words for wives of veterans and finally there were 3 vets present that shared thoughts of their time in service and cake was enjoyed at the end.
I had numerous thank you’s at the end for such a strong program. One of the toughest critics in the community even gave me a pat on the back with a “job well done”. Another tough critic said she could tell it was heartfelt.
Later I was asked about it, because at this point several people have noted me as being liberal and “one of those people”. I explained all of the veterans in my family and said at the end of the day I’m really just a humanitarian. That I believe regardless of the why, if a country sends people off to war, they better damn well take care of them when they come back, and if they don’t come back, take care of their family.
Since Saturday, both my bosses (all the way up chain of command) and I have been told, multiple times a day, how I did such a great job with the program. It still makes me blush. I’m grateful I had such an opportunity to honor those most deserving.
Additionally, I’ve had several moments this week of crafting lessons go quite well. Not only am I getting time to do things I enjoy and walking away with finished products at no cost to me, but residents are genuinely enjoying learning from me. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Finally, Tuesday I was thrown into training the new guy. I was literally introduced right as our boss found out that state had arrived in the building for yearly audit (11 months behind schedule). She looked at me, asked my opinion on what his training should cover and then said “You got this?”. I said ok and she left. She was busy the rest of Tuesday with State auditors and Wednesday with an in-service at an Omaha facility. By the time I connected with her this morning I filled her in on everything I’d already covered with him more as a recap to see what I’d forgotten. She had very few suggestions and left me to plan the next steps of training.
Nathan has already pointed out twice how much she’s trusting me and how much faith she has in me. It’s finally beginning to sink in for me after 3 full days of training him, essentially on my own. I asked Nathan: did they drop him in my lap as a test of my skills and abilities, and his reply was maybe. He said he thinks that they’re more confident of my ability to train him well, than I am, and it’s not really a test if they know I can handle it.
I conceded Nathan is probably right, because except for my manager and the building manager, I’m the only one in the building with all the knowledge to train him. So far, even with feeling like I’m inundating him with information, he’s handling it well and remembering a lot of it. Hopefully it’s a good sign.
Of course he’s an Iowegian too, which has already been topic of conversation with several residents also originally from Iowa. I’m beginning to think that there is something to be said for those raised in Iowa, or at least the Midwest. Our reputations do proceed us in a good way, and are often accurate. He’ll fit right in, as least as far as I’m concerned.
All in all it’s been a very busy month, with very little down time for me (none really- save for a few hours here or there), but I’m hanging in well. I’m feeling more confident and more appreciated than previous. I look forward to seeing how the next few weeks will continue to play out.
Be well and may you all feel appreciated even in your own oddness.