This week I contemplated taking down my blog. I merely set it to private and took a short hiatus instead.
It started with a feeling of being done with the world and my life in general, triggered by bad news over taxes and Nathan’s disability crap. I’ve submitted a form to hopefully help some in the shorter term (8-12 weeks it takes to process), but we’ve started the process all over again for long term possibilities. Hopefully this time things will go better.
Anyway, that was in addition to having to make a final decision on work knowing that it was time to put up or shut up.
I chose to move on into the new offer knowing that it will initially only net me a day off each week. In the long range though it could be very lucrative.
I also chose to honor those I respect and care about at my current position by turning in my resignation a full 30 days ahead, outlining all of the work ahead I will have completed by the time of leaving. I also explained that I created a reference manual for my position and that it is almost complete, and that I will willingly train my replacement. I even gave 2 extra days of driving the bus in June.
The decision had weighed so heavily on me that I simply had to commit and submit details today. I was very stressed and apprehensive about turning in my resignation knowing that the person I respect the most would be affected the most.
However, once she read my letter, we talked. She thanked me for giving so much notice, for planning ahead and competing extra work- especially the manual, and for offering to drive. She didn’t think the driving would be necessary, but said they would let me know either way. She explained that I handled the position very well and did a great job, and that she would give me an excellent reference indefinitely. She especially thanked me for helping to clean up from my predecessors and for essentially being the exact opposite, which was a huge relief to her. She congratulated me on my new position and wished me well and even gave me a hug, something I hope she knows means a huge amount to me.
I let the pastor know that once my schedule settles into the new routine I wish to help as much as I am able, and I told 2 of residents I’m closest to that I would be leaving. I’ll gradually let each one know in time, though I’m sure that word will get around quickly.
Afterwards, as I was finishing up today’s tasks, Nathan came in and I simply said it’s done and handed him a copy of my resignation letter. He had said he would support me regardless of what I did, so his only response was “how do you feel?”. I responded that it was tough, very difficult, but once done I felt better. I knew it was the right choice for me.
I’ve spent the rest of my evening intermittently sighing. The stress of the weight of making a decision like that has passed. Now I just have to focus on keeping my word and enjoying as much of my last 30 days there as possible.