Derailed

I’m supposed to be working right now, but just got derailed. The video notification (below) came in as I was finishing my morning stretch of massages. I knew I had to get to the activities job ASAP. Hell if only I knew why I’m still trying to be punctual when I only have a week left. The point is, I didn’t watch the video in an effort to get to job 2 on time. Once I hit a lull, I watched it. Now I’m stunned.

If it is you that is doing these videos, I’ve gotten every single one. They make me mushy and all I want is for things to work out. You have to know I expect that to include my husband and children because I love them too. I still don’t understand why you are choosing to avoid normal means of communication. I love our connection and all that it means, but want both.

My life it seems is an effort in figuring out solutions for both. I like massage, but I like the activities job too, and this week, hell this month has been hard because I feel like I’m not just betraying the residents in leaving, I’m hurting myself too in giving up things I enjoy. Yet if I continue to stay full time activities, I’ll kill myself with overwork trying to make ends meet. I’m determined to figure out my both there as well. Of course, Atira was intended to be that both, but I’ve yet to figure out how to pay for it, being far beyond my singular means.

Anyway, that’s merely a tangent.

I do still miss you, and you are haunting my dreams, but I need the both solution.

For everyone else that reads and wants to know WTF I’m rambling about, here’s the video I was notified to watch. If you’ve been a regular reader, you’re likely to fully understand.

Watch “Who am I… ? 💕 Sweet message 💕 I love you 💕” on YouTube

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