What I liked… My reasons for having cared.

I’m going to kit-bash traits from several experiences and people to compile my list of desires and appreciations. A focus tool. Must stay focused on my positive experiences to build new better ones. Next time must go better.

  • You wanted to know me, all about me.
  • You listened.
  • You seemed to genuinely care.
  • You are smart/intelligent.
  • Regardless of choosing or participating in a label/religion, you at least had thought about our existence as humans and the possibility of something greater.
  • You wanted to do good in this world.
  • You were at least partially honest, although I would have preferred wholly honest.
  • You were attracted to me in more than just the physical sense, although I do really appreciate that being attracted physically made me feel beautiful too.
  • I felt your energy, your presence (this does actually apply to several people in my adulthood, and though some I only seemed to get things like headaches and pains, I cherish all connections for being a manifestation of my energy stream).
  • You at least started out wanting to help.
  • You were kind (some more than others, but the kindness I cherish regardless).
  • You are strong and generally speaking healthy.
  • You were generally happy, and your bad days you did your best to keep to yourself. You wanted others to have a good time.
  • You were very generous.
  • You showed your affections in as many ways as you could think of and accomplish. There was no question who was on your mind.
  • You were charming and adorable.
  • You enjoyed massage, and gave as well as received.
  • You helped in whatever way was needed, even if that meant hard labor when you really didn’t have to.
  • You appreciated beauty, especially in the natural world.
  • You were soft spoken and gentle.
  • You liked music, and I really enjoyed when you did impressions of famous actors/musicians (even if I didn’t know all of them).
  • Even though you didn’t know how to handle my worst moments, you at least tried, and when all else failed you retrieved Nathan for help and support.
  • You accepted Nathan as my other S-O.
  • For the men: “He is, how you say, oo-la-la; he is big!”- Practical Magic For the women: curvy, voluptuous. For both: cuddly and comfortable, soothing and secure, warm and safe.
  • You did your best to own yourself and learn and grow.
  • You either had great self-control or were very good at hiding your lapses.
  • You liked beautiful things as much as I do, and we shared a detest for mess.
  • You were able to live simply, streamlined with only the most important belongings.
  • You seemed to be able to detach from worrisome situations more easily than I do.
  • We shared great conversations- because you’re smart, and I confess that at points I did think you were smarter than me. Nathan has said many times over your speciality didn’t make me any less smart, just knowledgeable in different areas.
  • You were open minded and flexible, at least attempting to make polyamory work. You were willing to explore and give it an honest try. (Maybe this time the universe will help us/me figure it out).
  • You had amazing and intense stories from places I’ve never seen, some I’d not even really heard of. They made me want to travel the world even more.
  • You were a free spirit and doing your best to stay true to yourself.
  • You honored everyone as equals and recognized we all play important roles in this world.
  • You did your best to honor your body and your needs without causing a stir for others.
  • You were able to find the bright side more often than not.
  • You liked candles and incense and weren’t frightened by ideas like reading cards and psychic abilities (though a healthy level of scepticism did temper your views on the later). I appreciate that though you were skeptical you did allow room for the possibility.
  • We had great conversations on advanced topics like Schroedinger’s Cat, quantum physics and other really interesting leading edge concepts.
  • You thought of my concerns and needs when contemplating foods.
  • You enjoyed being outdoors as much as I do, and especially sunshine.
  • You had a sense of humor, even if I did miss some of your jokes.
  • You were very patient.
  • I loved your hair and your skin was so soft and supple. I always wanted to touch you more, but felt I shouldn’t too much, because it might have drawn too much attention for you.
  • You made me want to honor your needs without even having to ask me to do so.
  • Your eyes were so very expressive, I felt like they could see into my soul. Did you know that?
  • You respected Nathan and I.
  • You were encouraging.
  • I loved your style, both in fashion and action.
  • I loved how responsible you were.
  • I loved that for the most part you were able to communicate your needs effectively. I only wish you would include your desires as well.
  • I love that family was so important to you, and wish that I, no we, fit into your definition of family.
  • I love that you like to have gardens too… I love gardens, but need help keeping them growing well. I like all pretty things really.

There were so many people with good qualities, this helped focus, but I found myself slipping into sad moments at points. I think tired is preventing better focus, so I’ll call this good for now.

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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