Why are some days so much harder than others?

I don’t know, it’s a hypothetical question.

I just know that today is one of them.

I have literally gone from doing great first thing this morning, to being derailed by a client’s comment when she thought I was out of earshot. It literally had nothing to do with the massage, but I was butt hurt anyway.

Then I thought myself back up the emotional ladder, to fall off again and again. I have climbed myself up the emotional scale a dozen times today to keep ending up back at the bottom.

Nothing I do seems to stick today. I want it to, but it just isn’t. I’m perplexed and that state is making it hard to decide anything. I know I need to take care of me for a bit, but can’t decide what that looks like. I want to sleep, I want a hot tub or bath, I want to make art, but would rather not sit in the warm garage, I want to listen to loud music right up until my ears start ringing again. It’s like I’m ultra sensitive and could use a couple hours in a Dep Tank… Sadly I know someone that owns one, but that seems like too much work and effort to try to accommodate.

Why is today different? Why are none of my positive actions and thoughts sticking. Better yet: how do I fix it?

I’m glad tomorrow is another day off and one I can start fresh and try again.

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