Today I had another forced fasting, and probably tomorrow as well. Hangover induced from wedding celebrations. Man I pissed my liver off!
The wedding was wonderful, I was able to help my little brother setup and tear down a beautiful celebration. It was not expected by him, as they had planned everything as meticulously as I would have. However, I showed up with gusto and my ready, willing, and able attitude. So he allowed me to assemble their archway and help setup chairs. I was more than happy to oblige both.
The night before, and during the day of the wedding, my mom and eldest brother thought it great to get everyone schnooked. I can only speak to myself and my observations. I know I was fully inebriated at least 4 times, and it seemed to me I wasn’t alone. During the reception when speeches started, mom looked around our family table and asked: is anyone sober enough to give a congratulatory speech to them. My eldest brother having years of military drinking under his belt conceded that he was likely best able even when drunk. It was a too funny moment, but his speech was as wonderful as any.
I was very glad to see my youngest brother have a wonderful wedding and glad to see the family together. I wished him well many times over and gave him as many hugs as I could inflict on him. (My family is not exactly touchy feely and Nathan and I usually push those boundaries a bit.) It’s worth it though. I got very mushy several times over.
The only one not present was dad, and we all knew why. I was slightly sad because my dad really has no clue why most of the family ignores him. My eldest brother and I are really the only ones that keep in contact with him and do our best to keep track of him. We’ve both come to our own understanding that though his methods were least desired by us children, he was merely doing what he knew how, what he thought he was supposed to do. He really didn’t know any other way, and we really could have fared far worse, he’s on the shallow end of the spectrum of abusiveness. I have forgiven most of my traumatic moments in an effort to retrain myself to a better way. One by one I forgive, and work on rewiring my brain to reach for better choices in my equivalent moments; which I’ve addressed many times over as being an ongoing process with many failures on my part. It’s not too late for me, but it seems by situation and ongoing choices, it may be so for dad. I know he will see and understand when he rejoins our maker.
Anyway, tangent aside, there were good conversations and time shared as family. That was very welcomed. Also, the many jokes and good natured jabs at each other was good relief for the emotional system. Katherine stole the show a couple of times simply being an adorable toddler dancing to music and trying to figure out the guitar the bride’s nephew played. It was simply a good time all around.
However, I did get far too much alcohol, gluten, and dairy, and thus my system is ultra angry and working on serious detoxing. Today was a good start, being I consumed 1 Lara bar, spread over the whole day, and 1 bowl of very light veggie soup at dinner, with as many ounces of water as I could stomach throughout the day. The queasy angry liver was by far the biggest deterrent to consuming anything in any significant quantity. By this point most of the queasy feeling has subsided, so I’m hopeful I’ll be able to hydrate better tomorrow. I’m not worried about consuming calories yet, mainly because I ate in 3 days what I would normally spread over a week, and as I previously mentioned pretty much all my major allergens were consumed, which spiked my sugar horribly. I have probably an extra 200 calories just floating around in my blood stream 🤣.
Seriously though, laughing aside, I’ve decided weddings- though wonderfully joyous occasions- are not good for making healthy decisions. If anyone knows a solution there, I’m all ears- feel free to leave comments as such. That would be good to know even if there aren’t many weddings to anticipate in my family at the moment.
May you all have joyous celebrations which are easy on your system. May you all feel the love and find life partners to experience joy with. May you all have good times with family and experience a feeling of belonging. Finally, may you all have just what you need and enjoy yourself in ways gentle to your system.
Siva Hir Su