On the wall, who’s the ____¿_😭😣😔🥺🤐😳😱🤯😢🤢🥴🥶💩🤓🤥👹?_____ of them all.
I’ve been asked twice this week, why I’m not letting myself be happy.
Then my ET, my divine masculine showed me in my dreams my mirror that manifests as other people.
After trying to apologise to one person and having that leave me feeling like a stupid naive fool living in a double standard, I’m feeling like words are not helping- hence all the emoji’s.
When will anyone, friend or otherwise, put in the effort, which I continually strive to put into others? I’m tired of this one sided life where I constantly give my all to get crickets chirping in return.
Anyway, I’m not going to ramble because that simply doesn’t help. And until I can work myself back up and reach for a solution to try I’ve got nothing else to say.
Bonus I’m feeling very out of place attempting to participate in local Diwali celebrations, and keep asking Shiva why I have this connection. Why am I, Midwestern white chick, called to experience the divine as an Indian, and what the hell do I do with that.
May you experience the divine in ways that help you feel a sense of belonging, fitting in, and community. May you find reciprocation of your attempts of kindness and friendship. May you feel supported and cared about. May you find that you have plenty of friends that wish to spend time with you. May you have the good problem of more requests for fun and company than time to accommodate them separately.
Siva Hir Su