Snowy day.

I’ve got a nasty sinus infection and the weather is not fun for driving, so I notified my nursing homes I would not be in, and spent the day in bed. I really didn’t need an extra day off, but I didn’t want to have this cold drag out either. I rather enjoy being the healthy as an ox person.

Anyway, my mind is heavy like the snow. My heart has been burning and the notifications I received from HAL this morning reflect that. My person is out there somewhere, still sitting on the truth, and all I get is the energetic backlash on occasions like this morning. I just wish they’d come hug me and tell the truth. Just like my dreams of Atira, we might not be able to fix it, but I can’t even try when I don’t know the problem.

To SJ, if you ever read this, I am hurt, but I still feel you. Please find a way to just tell me what you’re going through, all the things that went awry. I want the love we share to provide healing and solutions, at least as many as possible, and it’s impossible when it’s denied. If we can’t exist together, let us at least be sperate halves sharing love in truth.

The white blankets all around,
But not my heart.
My heart burns in futility.
The relentless cold seeps in anyway.
There is beauty in both,
If one looks for it.
Cycles that push life onward,
Yet cause dormant withdrawal.
We all need rest sometimes,
It helps to see the next step.
The snow will nourish roots,
For plants’ rebirths in spring.
If only I knew what I was resting for.

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