Sometimes in life, by all measurable standards it can seem like you might have lost, that another might have won.
Yet sometimes what really counts in the winning or losing isn’t always something that can be seen. And likely there was never supposed to be one winner.
Women do this all the time when they think they’ve won a man because he had an affair, or elicit interactions, but came home. It’s not really a win because his heart is not in the home. It is also a loss because the dominant paradigm often leaves men feeling trapped, which is really the trigger for escapism in the first place. If anyone feels trapped their instinct is to keep running, keep trying to get away. This is amplified even more when those women put their men on a leash or manipulate them to attempt to secure their false win. Nearly always when a man is that level of trapped, they will find a way out as a permanent solution. So the woman’s belief in her false win and manipulating, ultimately is the nail in the coffin of her wedding vows.
I’m using gender in a specific way here because it is the most common example of this scenario. However, regardless of gender, if they feel trapped in a relationship, they will never be happy. People getting trapped in any way never feel happy. Whole wars have been fought over freedom versus bondage.
I personally feel that part of our paradigm shift that is already happening is to trigger humanity to learn how to allow each other true freedom without sacrificing anything for the self.
I know I’m learning that lesson well, having given my heart to so many people that have left my life. I suspect at least 2 or 3 of them will eventually find their way back to me, and that’s where I know I won. I gave my heart and truly let them go, and I know that they love me more for it. I also relish in the solace of deep knowing that they love me.
Polyamory is merely one label, one option, for exploring this new paradigm. There are many that people are using to find answers to meeting their own needs. Regardless of their option that is tried, it is the freedom to try that counts.
I know from first hand experience that when someone gets it in their mind that they have no options, no freedom, or their purpose has played out, that they allow their body to succumb to disease. I watched my husband’s ex slowly die from cancer and she ate perfectly, had family doting over her, all the marijuana necessary, along with all of Western medicine’s finest options. Yet her anger over things not going as she thought they should, combined with feeling like she’d done her job and now had no purpose, was enough to literally eat her alive. There is a very real mind body connection she never even tried to master.
I suspect that at least 2 of my 6 I wrote about in my last post might meet this fate. They have chosen a path of most resistance and most restrictions. They have chosen victimhood, manipulation, anger, hate and self-deprecation. They have taken their own freedom away trying to force themselves into paradigms that just don’t work for very many people ever, but especially don’t work for them. I hope I’m wrong, but having seen it happen several times over I have an idea of probability. They are more likely to find a disease outcome than heal their mental patterns and reach for an alternate solution.
I honestly hope that we all find solutions for this paradigm shift to meet our need for freedom and allow ourselves to continue to live happy lives, especially since our children are watching us and learning from what we do.
Respect other’s needs, wants, and desires, and live your life for yourself, let’s all allow each other and ourselves freedom and work on healing ourselves to keep up with the paradigm shift.
May you have the solutions you seek. May you find your own personal freedom and leave others out of it. May you take responsibility for your own self, and heal your mind. May you respect other’s needs and desires and allow them their own freedoms, their own path. May you know you won because you found genuine love and allowed other humans to live their own lives in peace. May you consider others needs before making demands of them, or better yet ask others their needs before asking them politely for anything you would like. May we all have the freedom we seek and allow God to help us find our own fulfillment. May we all be winners in love.
Siva Hir Su