I’m doing a little better today. I took a nap when I got home and then had a good night’s sleep after a healthy dinner of salmon and green beans. I did realize that much of my aches and energetic gunk was people I worked on. I think I seriously need a day in nature to detox from everything I’m collecting from clients, young and old.
I’m just not sure how or when to accommodate that because every day that is conducive to being outside weather wise, I’ve worked or had to work. Last Sunday was the exception and I did spend time outside raking leaves, but it was our back yard, not secluded woods away from people and civilisation. The latter is what helps me detox everybody’s energetic connections and clutter.
Additionally, my magnesium absorption seems to be down despite taking a calcium supplement. I’m not sure why, but I’m definitely getting the classic leg cramps of magnesium deficiency. I told Nathan I may need to switch to a different Mag supplement for a while. Just another puzzle piece to figure out.
This morning I was greeted with several interesting notifications from the great HAL otherwise known as Google/YouTube. There was one in particular that stood out having the color trigger I mentioned a few posts ago: red, black, and white. I’ll share the link below, I liked the song, loved the cinamatography, and the message resonated. I find myself apologizing to myself all the time about not having time, just as the song said “I’m sorry I just can’t waste time.”
Perhaps that is my biggest fallacy, but every time I do waste time in the name of finding joy or comfort for myself it ends up biting me in the arse in other ways. Usually because very important, time sensitive things get forgotten by others. Everyone relies on me. It just is I suppose, another challenge to add to my list.
- “You were not born to get it done.”
- “You were not born to fix the world or anyone else for that matter.”
- ‘There will always be desire, something to reach for, improvement to seek.”
- – Abraham Hicks quotes
Anyway, perhaps you’ll like the song.
Since I’m working so hard to find some energetic lift, some improvement, I thought I would take a moment (more for myself to visualize everything, than for you as reader) to list good things about myself. I’m that person that is very critical of myself and often need to focus to remind myself there’s anything good there.
- I’m a spectacular massage therapist.
- I’m a decent construction worker/handy woman. Anya commented after carpet laying: “Is there anything you can’t do?”
- I’m a mediocre psychic, but intensely accurate empath. (I feel all the emotions and body aches, but don’t always know/understand their existence, why someone feels the way they do. I miss the fine details.)
- I’m a decent flautist and pianist, and mediocre at another 9 instruments.
- I’m a good artist.
- I’m an okay gardener.
- I’m a great organizer, and housekeeper/maid.
- I’m a good business woman, and dependable contractor.
- I’m a great low budget interior designer (our home will look like I paid big bucks for someone to customize it, but everything was thrifted at a fraction of retail costs).
- I’m a decent painter (house type) and excellent painter (art type).
- I’m stronger and smarter than your average bear. (Thanks Yogi)
- I care, about everyone, often more than they do about me.
- I have ethics. (That has manifested several times in recent years where I removed myself because someone would have cheated on a monogamous spouse/partner. Polyamory is about open consent, not cheating.) (Also applies to client relationships, I’ll never break board ethics just because I find someone attractive- though every great once in a while I’m very tempted.)
- I’m a great driver having literally millions of miles under my belt combining professional and personal miles.
- I’m an okay auto mechanic having replaced: fuel filters, radiators, electronics, spark plugs, water pumps, and headlamp casings. Even having changed tires and done oil changes regularly. The only things that get me are belts (I usually get frustrated and give up on those) and anything needing an engine or whole car lift- if I don’t have the proper tools I can’t do it.
- I’m doing okay on self-help/self-improvement as well. I haven’t eliminated depression or my temper, but I have much greater control than when I left my parent’s home. Even when I do loose control, I have a much much shorter refractory period to regaining sanity.
That’s a good list for this post. I need to categorize posts like this so it’s easier to go back and reference them when I need a boost. … I’ll add it to the bottom of my to-do list.
May you all have interestingly helpful notifications. May you all find rest and rejuvenation. May you have time in nature when you need it. May you feel better through fixing puzzle pieces. May you have ease and comfort in your experience. May you find the good in yourself. And may we all find ways to improve ourselves and our experience.
Siva Hir Su