Three quarters.

That’s how far I am through my workday, and approximately how far I’ve managed to settle my thyroid storm.

I’m on a short break, and still having racing heart and palpitations from activity, but my mood is starting to settle a bit.

I’m sure the anger of my last post being a notch over the suicidal anxious-depression of full storm also helped.

It’s been 3 days since I realized that I was in full thyroid storm, which was nestled right in the midst of fails with people I care about.

2 days ago I quit taking my supplements, not knowing what exactly caused the storm or how to solve it. My best guess in the hot mess was to just stop everything. So I did. Everything except magnesium and allergy medicine. I even stopped eating any more than absolutely vital- breakfast and lunch protein shakes and dinner AIP only.

I managed to not kill myself even though my brain swore it was the best solution. I managed to not take off anyone’s head or physically hurt anyone in my family. I even managed to keep most of it to myself at work. I’m not a good liar, so a couple of people noticed, but they had far bigger problems, so I knew not to give them mine.

Hugs were given and I promised I would be okay. I’m not all the way there yet, I hate this shit so much I still wonder if I’ll ever totally heal myself. If I don’t, then one day the Pete and Repete will eventually win and I will loose. For now, I think I’m winning this round on my own.

If my heart would just calm down and the damn headache would go away, I’d probably feel normal again. Normal is not happy, not joyful, not ecstatic, but normal is definitely okay compared to where I was Thursday.

If you read my blog please do send a few prayers that I find normal again. I’ll keep reaching. Until then I’m going to remain minimal on everything and do some more research to see if I can pinpoint the cause of the thyroid storm.

May you find your normal and be okay. May you see all the solutions. May you feel loved. May you know you’re not alone.

Siva Hir Su

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