I should be more stressed. Somehow I am more relieved.
I had a dream this morning after first alarm only vaguely got my attention. Shiva told me he was coming for me. It was time. I said ok, and I looked forward to knowing who Shiva was. I then said that if he really was an ET, that it might weird me out at first, but somehow even that was okay. I got all tingly and buzzy in good ways, and then the rest of my alarms started going off.
I ended up oversleeping the alarms, but not enough to get back to my connection with Shiva. It only mildly upset me.
This is not the first time I had had a dream like this, and still don’t know what is meant by “coming for me”. That has so many possible uses and meanings. Part of me is vaguely worried about death, but if ET is a real thing it could mean departure from Earth. It could also mean a sexual or reproductive reference. It could also mean that whomever he represents in my dreams, might actually show up in reality, and I’ve had enough messages that it’s a woman that I’m just unsure.
Regardless of my confusion on the interpretation, it somehow was soothing, and somewhat exciting.
I got to work a few minutes later than usual, but my first client wasn’t until 11am, so stupid me thought I should launch my day with round 3 of new workout aspirations.
My legs burned, my calves and hamstrings wanted to cramp up and I had to stop and stretch twice. I couldn’t get my lungs to keep up with the intense desire my muscles had for oxygen. I wimped out, getting my 2 miles, but at slower paces on both running and walking, and not a stitch of incline today.
My body was angry, but did I stop there. Ohhh, noooo! I was too inspired by losing 3 pounds in 2 days. I pushed myself to do 60 reps of rows with 85 pounds keyed up. Then did 3 sets of abdominal weights- forward bend and side twists.
I think my body strangely likes self-torture. I’m am hurting so much, but feel better balanced in other ways. It’s a very strange dichotomy.
Then I discovered that ALL of my nursing home work has been put on hiatus- another kind of ouch entirely. All the facilities in the metro have gone down to only vital services using only direct hire employees. They even have restrictions on visitors. So over a quarter of my income just vanished until the crazy subsides and things return to normal function.
I get the fear, but old people die from the flu, pneumonia, strokes, and heart-events every day. Most of my residents have said they aren’t worried and are ready for whenever it’s their time to go, regardless if it’s an infection or anything else that takes them out. I’m not being heartless, most of my people are in so much constant pain, that death would actually be welcomed and better. Yet our health care system is bent on making sure that people stay alive at all costs. … Going to stop my rant here. It’s never done me any good anyway.
Anyway, other people’s fears, not my resident’s fears, mean I’m going to be drastically short income this month. It’s not the end of the world, but it seems some of my goals for April with our house and yard will be put off. I look forward to sanity returning with my income in tow.
So fascinating dream and 2 ouches later I am finishing up my workday much sooner than normal. It’s going to be weird not having all my old people to see this week and probably next week too, who knows how long.
May you have full understanding of your dreams. May you have expected and desired time off (mine was desired but not expected). May you feel the burn in the best ways possible. May your strength, stamina, and prosperity only grow.
Siva Hir Su