Dad is gone. “Kicked him out” of my house and my body.
Not really: it was the most polite goodbye I could muster, but definitely down right cordial compared to many of his moments.
I did follow good-byes with lots of sage-smudging, a few mantras, a celebratory drink and treat.
My house now feels like my home again. Much more relaxing, much more peaceful and buoyant, save for two energy filled toddlers’ chaos.
And my body: Thank the Gods!
I now feel like me again. The heavy cloak of negativity has lifted. The quicksand of energetic muck has cleared. I no longer feel like I am struggling to overcome an army of demons. I killed the army of demons. I now know I can hold my own. I made it through the hardest part.
I am strong. I am capable. I am caring. I am kind. I am doing so much better, that I was able to survive a negative vortex and my positivity got even stronger.
I am beautiful. I am confident. I am intelligent. I do have valuable qualities. I have knowledge others could benefit from. I am doing it. I matter. My opinions matter. I am supportive. I am successful.
I am open and accepting of everything as helpful to our universe in some way. Sometimes it’s just a great example of what not to do, and an excellent comparison tool to see your own progress.
I have made something of myself and I am worthy of many great things. I have done it on my own, with God’s guardians watching out for me and guiding me.
I am caring for a family, housing them, providing transportation, working to provide all that, earning my way. Yet, on top of all that, I am taking care of myself and healing my body. I am healing! I have more and more proof every day and I’m starting to get excited!
My intense deep-dental-cleaning went well, no cavities despite ignoring dentists for 20 years. What I do works, and my teeth show it. All those cavity pocks when I was 15 have disappeared, my teeth have healed enough.
My thyroid no longer pokes my voicebox at all. I suspect another ultrasound would show the nodules as being gone.
My skin is indeed shrinking and people are starting to notice. I wish it was twice as fast, but at least I know it’s happening. That’s enough for now.
Acné is gone, even when I have a minor oopse. It took a painful weekend of dad’s doing, with 5 “bad” meals to get acne, and a week later it’s already mostly disappeared. My watch and necklaces have finally quit causing contact psoriasis, and a little scratch healed 3 times quicker than usual.
My body is literally healing. I withstood my own father and I’m healing. I’m doing so much better. This is relief, this is progress, this is forgiving myself, this is honoring myself.
Right now I am so grateful for my own progress, for my own acknowledgments of self. I’m satisfied over how far I’ve come, and looking forward to seeing the rest of my journey. I am feeling immense relief.
May you have good release moments. May you find not just forgiveness for yourself, but acknowledgement of how for you have grown. May you see and honor God’s guidance. May you know you are love and worthy of anything you desire. May you find ways to help others and make the world a better place. May you be understanding of the growth process and supportive of any steps that help our whole civilization to improve. One drop sends a ripple through an entire ocean. Be a drop of positive change.
Siva Hir Su