Behind= Reason to Live

So, I’m pretty much behind on everything I had set for goals. But it gives me a reason to keep living and keep trying. I’m squeezing this post in on my celery break, I won’t bother calling it lunch. So, I won’t elaborate as much as I’d like to, but still wanted to take a moment to share.

I pissed my liver off with food allergies, I think I mentioned the hives last week. It was originally triggered by a chicken breast and a bit of Halloween candy prolonged it. Well last night I over compensated with supplements and woke with a mighty tight neck this morning. I had Nathan do some quick energy work and drank some water. Then once I got to work I pummeled myself with my TheraCane. I’m mostly normal again, and my body is feeling a lot better in general.


Nathan and I managed to finish the repairs and upgrades to the littles’ room finally. It looks much better and having all the toys in one spot and being well organized for little bodies to reach has been a blessing the last couple of days. Their room also feels much brighter and more enjoyable. Nathan may not be a master painter, but he did a good job painting the walls, and even let all the kids help with that process. I did the shelves, hung the TV, fixed furniture, put in the two new tables, and did the ceiling fan repair. It was a good team effort.

Ian and Katherine quite enjoyed the reintroduction to their new play space.


I wanted to share a bit about my little Ian. He is such a sweet boy, and very sensitive like me. In time that will be a blessing, but right now it can definitely be challenging as he works through his own strong emotions and tries to figure out the ones that aren’t his. It causes a fair number of meltdowns still, but he’s slowly improving. Lately, I’ve had to watch his foods as much as mine, I still don’t want to restrict him or tell him completely “NO” , but I’ve noticed that his antenna goes haywire like mine when he’s deviated too far off course. It’s a work in progress.

The upside is that he has taken a liking to “Avatar the Last Airbender”, and is working on learning the moves from the show.

It was my IN moment.

I explained to him that it’s based in reality and that is what me and Daddy do when we’re doing energy work. I explained to him that of the elements, I have mastered fire and water the best and gave him a demonstration of what that looks and feels like. I told him that the most important part of the elements is focusing on the qualities of that element. He immediately tried to duplicate the feeling. The best part was that he was successful. I told him it was weak, but I could feel it and he just needed to keep practicing.

So this morning with my neck lockup, he helped with some water element. It was super sweet and I almost started crying. I thanked him and hugged him tight. I love my son.


Finally, one of my clients is a psychology type therapist. She explained to me her category once, but I’d have trouble being accurate. Anyway, she’s grandfathered in with a master’s degree and thus can’t accept most insurances, which means she’s costly cash pay. She’s also full and not accepting new clients. That’s where I come in. She essentially tips me in Tips.

Every time I get stuck, she offers me tools and resources to help me keep going. Free of charge, only the cost of conversing while she’s on my table.

Lately she had given me the following resources and I’m finding them so helpful that I wanted to share.

Apparently my father caused me to delevope a protector part at a very early age. It looks and acts just like him, and I’m having a hell of a time eradicating it, so she’s helped give me some tips for that process. I’ve been doing the meditations and I can tell it’s helping, I’m just not clear of the other side yet. I look forward to the day that part is helpfully joined my whole and the doubts, fears, self-degredation, and anger diassapate. I’m slowly inching my way there.


May you find the upside of your behind-ness. May you have quality moments with your family. May you know you are making progress. May you enjoy your life more than not. May you have the help you need, when you need it. May helpful resources make their way into your experience easily. May you have plenty of reasons to keep living and reaching for better.

Om Shanti

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