Relighting my candle- AGAIN

Nathan distracted me, talked with me, worked on my arms. He’s checking on appointments and medical needs for me. AND he’s still doing everything for me that he does every day that I wake up needing to go to work. He’s my saviour.

Despite my plea to not tell anyone, my helper yesterday did tell. I have mixed emotions. I’m grateful for the support and acknowledgement. Embarrassed over my inability to resolve this completely after six years of concerted efforts to do so. Upset with myself, but encouraged to keep trying. More I can’t put words to right now.

I’m looking at my schedule honestly trying to figure out how to change things to accommodate my needs better. If our damned finances were not such a huge part of the puzzle, I could easily adjust. As it is, for now I still must work as much as I am able, and that is the difficult part. I’m honestly doing my best to figure out a solution.

Last night I went to bed early, but sleep regimen is a priority. As is exercise, and eliminating the last few traces of dietary fails. I am determined to regain control of all of the puzzle pieces fully and completely. It never seems to make it go away for ever, but it does make it go away for a long while. For now, I have to take it. I will keep sending prayers that my brain heal, maybe one day god will grant me that at least.

May your puzzle be easier than mine. May your mental health be with you always. May you find life happy and joyful even in challenging times. May you have friends and support when you need it. May you feel loved and supported no matter what. May your brain cooperate with you always.

Om Shanti

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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