Count your blessings.

Nathan was informed today that he needs to begin dialysis to ensure his kidneys are able to keep up with his body and hopefully prolong functionality for many years to come. Doctors made suggestions for options to accommodate being at home, since he has two young children. We have lots of things to figure out over the next few days to couple of weeks. He is technically under the disability umbrella, but we’ve never received the rest of the details on what that means, so he likely has a whole bunch of paperwork before any treatment is carried out.

On one hand this is not the news we would have wanted. On the other hand, they are acting premptively to try and ensure he lives until his children are adults, and possibly even years beyond that. Something I rarely actually see in Western Medicine, most of the experiences that come across my awareness are about making money treating symptoms, not genuinely trying to help or correct problems. Though this is technically just treating a symptom, it’s still in the vein of preventitave measures, so at least that’s something.

I’m also very grateful that I work at a clinic with an acupuncturist. I’m hoping I can make arrangements for regular acupuncture to also help his organ function. We’ll see. I know Acupuncture can do amazing things, but I don’t know how much would be needed for this particular ‘impaired kidney function’ category.

I’m very appreciative he has never been a heavy drinker or drug addict. He has actually be kind to his body compared to many people.

He also expressed appreciation to me for having guided him towards trying to heal his body when heart disease struck. He admitted if it hadn’t been for all of my efforts from the beginning, that he would be worse off now. I expressed appreciation that he joined me in our mutual healing journey.

We have both worked very hard to improve our health over the years, and my only disappointment is that with everything we’ve done we’re still having this moment. I do acknowledge that if we hadn’t been so diligent, it likely would have come many years sooner.

Even though this stirs deep concern in me, there is a ray of hope still, and things could definitely be worse.

I am grateful I am gainfully employed.

I am grateful that he may qualify for care and coverage at low and possibly no cost to me/us.

I am grateful he might be able to receive these treatments at home.

I am grateful we have a safe home for our family regardless.

I am grateful we have made it through this crazy crappy year okay.

I am grateful that we have loving cuddly pets to help ease these moments of concern.

I am grateful we have plenty of healthy food and access to supplements and other tools that help boost general health.

I am grateful we both exercise regularly.

I am grateful we have put so much work into our selves. This is only validation that there is more work that can be done.

I am grateful that this is not a dire situation, in fact the doctor told him that it was caught early enough that there is plenty of time to try multiple treatment options if needed.

I am grateful that I do have some level of support network, it may not be vast nor as strong as I has hoped, but at least there are some people in my life that can help if absolutely needed.

I am grateful that I am capable enough to handle all of the challenges that we have faced as a family. This is just yet another, in a long string, stretching through the last 16 years. I survived all the others, and we will likely survive this one too.

I am grateful that disability did go through, even though it never cleared fully, it will still help navigate this hurdle.

It will be okay.

I am okay.

And moments that call for it can default to “Free and Easy Wanderer” or cannabis products, they will get me through anything that is too much for me in the moment. I am grateful that I have access to those tools to help with my own stability and health, when I fail to control it on my own.

Everything is and will be all right.

May you know that everything is going to be okay. May you know that some people do care and are doing their best to help. May you know that things could always be worse. May you find things to appreciate and find gratitude over. May you know you are okay and that you have all the tools you need. May you find comfort and solace, even if it requires herbal assistance. Above all may you know that God loves and supports you.

Om Shanti

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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