I hadn’t intended to write just poetry on here. More just do something different than before. Change things up, and try to be authentic without using every detail of my life. Somehow it seems my default choice for that goal has been poetry and I never even considered myself a poet.
Today I am doing my best to let go of an energy that is running amuck in my life. My last poem spoke to it. I have some psychic abilities, but it seems to me that I’m not good at interpretation of the things I get. So, I know how the energy feels, and at times it has felt good and helpful, but the same source often carries heavy negativity and chaos. At this point the negatives far outweigh the positives I have gleaned from it, and I simply wish for it to leave me alone. The problem is that some of the people in my life are either connected to it or highly influenced by it, and thus I have seen manifestations of it, both good and bad, through people I know and/or love.
Anyways, in a strong desire to disconnect from it and walk away, I am reaching for God.
That’s where it gets tricky, because this wavelength I’m talking about, blends quite significantly with the feeling of the divine, especially when the former is feeling good. I only want the good, that’s what brings better manifestations. So I only want the divine.
At this point my struggles have weighed heavy enough in my life that I also have a strong desire to give up fully and completely. But there is a part of me, very tiny, that says what if that means I die.
So I sit in acknowledgement that I could indeed die. Giving up completely could mean that I cease to exist in human form on 3D planet earth. I’m not sure that would be a bad thing. I know my husband and kids would miss me, but they would eventually move on with their own lives. But if I continue to cling to the what is because it might cause discomfort for them or I might miss out on things, then I could be holding myself apart from that already. I might be causing missing out and discomfort because I am afraid of that.
So I am doing my best to really examine what truly letting go means. If I really really let go of all of the what ifs, all of the scary tidbits, all of the might be doom, then what? I could die, but what else could happen?
It’s a hypothetical question for myself. I’m doing my best to look for the best answers and skip the worst.
May you see your best answers to letting go. May you see that you don’t have to be in control. May you see that giving into God fully and completely can do wonderous things in your life. May you know you are loved and supported by the divine. May you find a way to release the negatives completely.