Really really over whiney

Now I’m whiney. It has taken a lot, but my patience is toast.

Kids, society, medical people. I’m Over it.

I have dealt with a shit-ton the last 10 years, but definitely the last 2, and I have complained on occasion, but considering how much I’ve dealt with my complaints have been a handful of words on here and a very few meltdowns in daily function.

Medicine wants to whine about how many people are taking up hospital beds and ER rooms because of COVID but they have set it up that way.

Nathan is mostly better, the “I’m sick” moment passed days ago, but we can’t schedule him with primary care because of his positive covid test. We can’t schedule him with anyone. So his lingering symptom of anxiety and passing out has been not dealt with.

In order to have it dealt with, an email response this morning told us to go spend the day in the ER. It’s fucking stupid.

Go sit in the ER for what might be POTS or something similar. POTS can be caused by lots of things, and no one that got POTS pre-covid had to waste hours on end in the ER. But Nathan, well he’s already on dialysis, and they can’t say what’s going on by email, they don’t even want to try a telehealth appointment. So their only suggestion is ER.

Really.

I swear if I hear one more person complain about beds being consumed by COVID patients, I’m likely to loose my shit on them. This is a contrived waste of time and space. Nathan’s lingering symptom is only a hazard to being able to drive, and could be dealt with by primary care, or any one of his current care team, and they are choosing not to.

I call bullshit. On all of them and all of this. Fear factor bullshit by professionals that are supposed to be trained on how to handle disease.

Bullshit.


It’s 12:30p. Been at the ER about 3 hours, and just saw the doc for the first time. He was in agreement with me that this should have been dealt with in primary care and said he would be talking to some people/staff. (It was little consolation, but I did enjoy a chuckle after he left the room.)

He’s going to start the ball rolling by doing some initial basic testing, and encourage other care team members to follow through. He’s not sure if they will be able to resolve the issue enough for Nathan to resume driving, great. Just awesome.

Crossing fingers that someone can!🤞🤞🤞🤞


Nathan texted around 5pm: “My potassium is low (again)… and my serum sodium is very low… he thinks that may be contributing to the passing out…”

They decided to treat and hold him overnight to most likely release him tomorrow. Even though our family’s COVID case is no longer what they consider an active infection, he was put on the COVID ward and I was not able to see him again, only drop his couple of requested items with a nurse.

2nd Nathan text: “Hey, fun fact. Apparently they don’t retest for Covid because it varies from person to person how long it’ll take to get a negative test back… some people test positive for months even though they are well over Covid…”

So, even though Nathan is not an active COVID case, but because he had COVID, he still gets stuck on the COVID ward, and restricted even from people that shared the infection- his own family. This is so effing stupid and nonsense, I even have a positive test result myself I can show them, and am no longer active either, but I can’t visit. “Duhhhh, Dee-ta-dee. (Hand gestures of idiocy).

And if electrolyte imbalance is the full cause of his lingering symptom it will quit as soon as they help him regain balance, then he’ll be symptom free. But yeah, COVID ward is totally the best place for him.

As for me. I’m still standing and pissed at the universe again. I have taken more than the average person, hit after hit, blow after blow. I have processed it all, and climbed the emotional scale over and over again. I’ve worked on traumas from my childhood, and continue to chip away at those. But for whatever fucked up reason God still keeps sending me more of the same, like hitting me a thousand times is going to make me any less capable than 999. I’m still standing, and at this point I’ve earned just rewards a thousand times over. At this point I should be getting reward after reward just for surviving all of the bullshit; and not just surviving, no- I helped my family survive too, and kept them fed and housed and clothed and held a job, and for 8 years ran my own business, and now I help with someone else’s business. That’s not just surviving, hell, I feel like I’m kicking ass when the universe is hell bent on bringing me to my knees. So eff you God. I fucking deserve better- a million times over. Eff you.


Nathan was home by Wednesday afternoon. Saline drip, with potassium and zinc pills, his only treatment beyond regular dialysis. Discharge instructions to drink Pedialyte for at least 24 hours, to rehydrate fully.

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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