World

This song resonated for me this evening. Then when I went to find the video to link, watching it has an even more intense message. It fits with things on my mind lately, this man’s world has left much to be desired, and what I see is really far from the fairy tales my heart desires. A woman’s love in a man’s world, not solving a damn thing because man’s world seems loveless.


On an entirely different note (or is it?): A 36 year old, seemingly-healthy-male in my world, admitted he has been diagnosed with high blood pressure.

On one hand, that doesn’t seem like a big deal, there’s far worse things to be diagnosed with. You could totally ignore it for quite some time before it causes greater concerns. Or can you?

The other hand reveals: my husband was told of his mildly high blood pressure and borderline diabetes when he was 40 (4 years older than this other person in my life). Currently: my husband is on dialysis, and has an enlarged heart, but still has blood pressure concerns, and diet controlled diabetes. His hope to live a healthy life, lies in transplants and machines. …. The enlarged heart became an immediate and acute concern 3 months before his 48th birthday (8 years after initial warnings). Kidney failure at 58, after an unknown viral infection.

I feel like it warrants warning, and education, and immediate changes to correct blood pressure, before it’s even a problem. That could buy many more good years for someone so young.

Yet, this same person has made comments about my husband’s lack of response to life’s “wake-up calls”, and comments of assumptions about what Nathan has or hasn’t done over the years. Never actually having prolonged inquisitive conversations with me or him.

Do I make those same assumptions about him? Do I let it pass with an awareness he’s likely to blow-off the high blood pressure just like Nathan did early on, because Nathan’s doctors didn’t educate him on ramifications, choices and options (at least beyond pills)?

Or … Do I take the high road and assume that he’s already doing something about it, that he’s just aware enough to know there are choices and options and he’s working with them to correct the problem?

Or… Do I assume neither and randomly (or even strategically) offer suggestions that might just bounce off of him, knowing that my words frequently, even bounce off of people that actually care what I have to say? A desire to educate and help, does nothing if someone isn’t open to all of your answers. That, I have lots of experience in.

And unfortunately, I have even more experience doing my best to help those whom assume I am no help in the first place. My entire biological family wrote me off, because I was the youngest, and a girl, and chose to work as a massage therapist and artist. You know that must mean I’m an idiot: just a stupid little girl. My brothers were fond of those words when I was little. Though they don’t say them to me as an adult, my brain heard them enough times it echoes the words in the gaps of their speech. They simply don’t even need to say them anymore. I’m well trained. And when so well trained, you manifest what you believe, so no one listens to this stupid little girl, hardly ever.

So really, it’s futility to even try. I’ve manifested a loop that is nearly impossible to break. I know because I now appreciate my own intelligence in a way that no one else does, and have for quite some time. I know I have good, well informed messages, that many ignore and nearly all fail to notice. I’m an insignificant blip on the world map, but one that could help millions, if only I could believe anyone cared that much.

Yet, all of this, and the one concept I’m struck with most is we’re all sick because of toxic masculinity.

Toxic masculinity:

  • Stress induced high blood pressure in your mid 30’s or early 40’s, none of us should have that much stress, that young.
  • Doctors failing to educate patients on preventative measures of all kinds, and moreso failing to educate fully on ramifications of unchecked disease. Failing to educate on anything, even with thier own medical staff, is toxic masculinity because they are short time to do so, under paid, over worked, and equally stressed. They are suffering the affliction(s) they are supposed to be trained to heal.
  • Doctors failing to diagnose underlying root causes or diseases. See I’m aware enough, because of my own journey, that I know EBV causing thyroid damage can manifest in men as cardiovascular concerns. He literally could have the same problem as me, just the male body version. That would be ironic. But the toxic masculinity is evident in that: I wonder if anyone has even checked him for any chronic disease beyond the HBP label, and I highly doubt it. And did they even rule out anything but stress being the cause? Stress is easy to fix if you know for certain that is the only cause- that’s the catch.
  • Women bearing love in an unreceptive world.
  • Women being treated as the music video indicates.
  • Children learning as the music video indicates.
  • Abuse, negative thoughts, mental patterns being brainwashed generation after generation. All symptoms of toxic masculinity.
  • My brothers childhood opinions becoming ingrained so well that they create self-fulfilling prophecies.
  • Assumptions about anything or anyone.

All of those are very good examples of the ruin that toxic masculinity has wreaked upon this world. It’s up to every single one of us to do our level best to heal as much as we are humanly able. No one person can solve it all, but together there might be hope for humanity. And who knows, maybe healing some of that crap will enable a few of the fairly tales to become just believable enough to manifest for some people.

May you heal yourself and in turn help heal the world. May you see that even seemingly benign diagnosis’ can and should be wake up calls. May you be more forgiving of those that missed that memo, or never got the memo to begin with, or had the doctor that missed the memos. May you know that those of us that suffered are here to help others learn how to escape ill fate, but that it requires a desire and openness to learn from survivors. May you know that you are here for a reason and everything in your experience has the potential to make you a better person. May you be patient with yourself and others, and kind when things go wrong. May you see how best to interact with others and provide helpful messages in a way they can be received. May you know you are always doing your best, even when you fail to handle life in a way that fully supports your own living. May you know for certain we are all in this together, we all have battles and struggles to overcome, and each of us is just a unique set doing our best. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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