I’d rather.

In the vein of would you rather.

Would you rather die slowly and painfully with many interventions that don’t actually fix anything, or have something make it short and sweet?

I’d rather have it be short and sweet. I know both of my parents have voiced similar preferences.

So, why does medicine find the acute problem and fully treat it before addressing any long term concerns? Why does medicine sometimes only address the acute problem and assume there is no long term concerns? The whole picture should be examined fully before acute treatments occur, and with every patient, every time. Rare exceptions would be if acute problems don’t allow for enough time for full diagnosis (bleeding to death gives minutes not hours), but too frequently they drag feet on processes and procedures to make the case for acute treatments (infections take precedent, just like bleeding to death, even though infections can be slowed enough for full diagnosis of any and all concerns). It makes them more money with extra procedures, and covers their asses legally, but leaves the person wanting a quick exit in more pain, discomfort, and with more invasive interventions even if death is immenent anyway. It is because they assume the person is going to survive, they assume they will be able to fix everything, they assume they are right in speedy treatment of the obvious acute moment. Only once they are past the acute phase do they actually look deeper, and especially if they solve the acute moment to have it immediately return (they know they missed something if they surgically remove infection to have someone go septic or have infections sprout elsewhere). Sometimes they just need reminded of how someone got there in the first place and an individual’s preferences to stop long enough to look at everything as a WHOLE. But that most often requires an advocate that is speaking selflessly from a knowing of your prior repeated requests. I sincerely hope that when my day comes I have that advocate that sticks to my desires even when a doc is saying ‘but procedure dictates this order’. Any doctor can break procedure when situations dictate it, but they need reminded of that on occasion. Any doctor can look at the whole picture before treating anything, but it sometimes requires a reminder. My journey has had lots of doctors that choose not to, even with reminders, and it leaves me feeling like the medical system no longer cares about any of our preferences or choices, and most people just go along with it.

Would you rather a doctor listen to your concerns fully and address everything as much as they are capable of, or ignore anything you have to say and base treatment solely on a handful of labs?

I’d rather be listened to, have my preferences acknowledged, and then once full knowledge was gleaned, to be fully treated, it seems like the most effective route. Of course, I have spent approximately 20 years seeking treatment based on the way my body and brain felt and looked, but only 7 actually receiving any treatment. Of those 7 years, only the last 18 months has had the full in depth diagnosis, and it was the result of an argument with a doctor and sidestepping her by ordering a lab myself. It makes me wonder what place I would be in, if my first seeking of treatment had produced the end comprehensive result. Maybe I would have already healed everything if 20 years ago that lab had been done, thyroid meds started immediately, and nutrient therapy completed. I can’t guarantee that, but I can guarantee the reason I have the result I do is because they did nothing for so many years.

Would you rather feel fully supported by those around you and know your opinion matters, or would you rather decisions be made based on what doctors or family feel like is the best answer for you, even if the treatment plan ends up being the same either way?

Sometimes the treatment plan would end up the same, any way you look at it. But how it is handled, the process, the contemplation, the considering patient preferences, makes all the difference in the world to the person being treated. I’d rather feel like everyone was on my side and got the doctor to listen, even if the plan diverged from my desires. When things move very quickly away from desires, it is harder to believe that the individual preferences were considered, or that something might have been overlooked or missed. Sometimes it just isn’t the case, but if you moved too quickly maybe you didn’t make certain that was clear to everyone. When something sounds like procedure, and answers to questions are left unanswered, how does the patient feel then?

Obviously this was stirred by happenings going on in my world, but I’m not going to go in depth. Mainly because I am not in a position to know all of the details and can not say what I don’t know. This post is just a combination of my experience in life generally speaking, layered on my perceptions at this moment, and then smeared with hard emotions I’m doing my best to process. Sometimes life sucks any way you look at it, but it would be nice if medicine actually cared about people’s opinions and feelings, and it would be nice if those around us helped us stand up for ourselves, especially when it gets harder to do it alone.

May you always feel fully supported. May you know those around you are sticking up for your desires. May you know for certain you were fully diagnosed the first time. May you never have to go anything alone, and may the answers given actually provide the solutions you were seeking. May you see that the way things are handled is sometimes more important than the practical steps, and that everyone is doing their best always. May you know that when life, technology, or people fail you, that it is for a reason, even if you never see what that reason is. May you always have a selfless advocate when you need it, but may you never actually need it. May you find less and less that brings you down, and more and more that lifts you up and supports you. May you have joyful moments and good times to remember. May you figure out how to let go and let life be fun again. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

I would rather have fun. I would rather enjoy life. I would rather release burdens in my life. I would rather have lots of things fixed for me, but only if they were actually fixed to the dreams I have clung to my whole life. That’s the biggest problem with people helping, they put their own opinions in every single time. The real true divine presence is the only thing that can fix our experience from our preferences and desires, so that is where I prefer my solutions to come from. I would prefer to have less responsibility and enjoy more. I would prefer to have all the resources to do more, but also to make the more-to-do more enjoyable and easier. I have lots of preferences that are good and wholesome and filled with life’s energy. So why is it so damn hard to write more posts of that? Why do the energetic hits I take knock me down so far that I have to write about them to be able to get back up? How do I release them fully to move on and never feel them again?

About Treasa Cailleach

I'm a massage therapist working with chiropractic and the elderly; musician, artist, pagan, mom, B of LGBTQ, & polyamorous professional.

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