Rest in peace momma. I got the call this morning on my way to work that my mom had passed. 74 years old, nearly 75. Her choice, and as kind of a transition, as her beliefs, conversations, and habits allowed. I am grateful she had the support she needed and wanted, and I’m grateful I was able to visit a couple times recently. I hope she finds her stallion on the other side like she talked about in recent years.
The evening held a family zoom where we talked about a memorial service, I felt useless, as she never said anything to me beyond “scatter my ashes in nature”. I can list a couple dozen songs she loved, because I love them because of her. I know she really loved Amazing Grace done well on bagpipes, and I even know a piper here in KC that does it, but discussions were for northern Iowa. Not something I could pull off, so I offered a recent good picture printed large and reminded everyone she liked the music.
Now I am milking a bit of chocolate while I wait for my teenager to get off work. I’m really tired and know that the fullness of this transition has not quite registered in my brain yet. Time is the biggest factor in grief, it’s a process that unfolds much like an onion- full of tears and no one else can do it for you.
I had a poem in mind while I was working that was functioning as a decent distraction, but I’m not sure I have enough time or energy to flesh it out here. Another day or time will have to do.
May you find greif gentle on you. May you handle every transition with grace. May your eyes stay dry when necessary, but may you have all the time you need when they don’t. May you find your own peace in knowing another found the peace they sought. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.