Category Archives: Crazy in Action

Messenger girl.

My not-feeling-well bedtime was interrupted by a psychic tap on the shoulder, so my deal for this message is my “COVID” experience needs to wrap up. If I’m going to be a messenger girl it’s a hell of a lot easier when I feel better.

The message:

I hear a world
Scared
Running in fear
From unknown

The perception
A dis-ease
Called COVID
Not playing by
Existing labels' rules

All
Clamoring
To blame
To cast doubts
To shun
To redicule
To pass the buck
To make a buck

Responsibility
An excuse
To burden others
With shame
When none was
Earned

The fear is
Real
Based on information
Shared
Yet somehow
Something is
Missing
Or hidden
That knowledge
Is the true root
Of the feelings
Stirred

What is missing
What is hidden
Is this dis-ease
What we are being
Told
Is the blame
Founded
Are we right to
Shun, redicule, punish
When efforts fail

Efforts always fail
When aimed incorrectly
And often even when
Aimed correctly

How are so many
Getting sick
Same days
Same times
When individuals
Rarely share that much
In common
As hoards

People
Scared
For their lives
For their loved ones lives
Rightfully so
Many already having
Lost
Many more at risk

Perhaps
Risks
Could be more
Effectively
Reduced
If the missing
Pieces
Were found

I hear the fear
I see the way
Now will anyone
Hear my message

It is more simple
Than you know
It has been repeated
More than any care
To admit

Let go
Go within

This girl writes truth
She carries
My burden
She is no different
Than any of you
Except she made one
Important
Choice
To hear me
And do her best
To pass my message on

The answer everyone
Seeks
Can be found
Within
Your bodies
Miracles of
Divine creation

Let go
Of everything
You think you know
Of everything you
Have been told
Of everything
You're supposed to
Do, be, have
Let go
To be able to go
Within

Deep
Inside
Yourself
Is the key
The solution
To all of this
And more

Every person
A miracle of
Life
Able to right
Any wrong
Simply
By
Being
Still
Enough
To hear what can't be heard
To see what can't be seen
To communicate what can't be said

Let yourself
Find your
Inner
Miracle
It is the way
The path
Easier than you know
Yoda
Said so

See the common
Thread
Understand
The deeper
Meaning
To find your
Own
Freedom
From this
Or any other
Dis-ease

Speak your
Own truth
In patience

Listen not just to
Fears and concerns
But for the good
For the better choices

See how we
Can come
Together
In goodwill
In cooperation
In kindness

Humanity
Can and will
Become stronger
For all of it

None need perish
All whom leave
Make that choice
Most have been
Asking for it
As their path
Too knarled
To be

Open yourself
See
Hear
And speak
With your
Own soul
The way
Will set you free

It is easier
When rested
Gentler
When hydrated and
Nourished
Flows readily
When flexible
Makes sense
When minds
Are open

Kindness with
Self
Begets more
Kindness

Openness with
Self
Encourages flow
For solutions
To find proper
Ways
Homes to heal
Families to restore balance

All is well
Can manifest
With trust
Faith
Let go
Go within
Be patient

Normally I’d notate my name on a poem. This one is definitely not mine and I hope I did full justice to the message.

Everyone be well and take the message to heart. I’ve been doing my best and I’m hoping that I’ll pull out of my physical discomfort soon. I could have caught it from any one of a large number of people and I blame no one, my misalignment let it in. I simply hope that the divine will help me realign and heal fully.

May we all be in alignment. May we all heal. May the missing pieces become clear and fear dissipate. May we all find the miracle within ourselves. May we all hear the messages, see the path, and know exactly what to say and when. May we all see our individual impact on the journey of humanity and may all of us wishing to stay have wonderful lives from this day forward. Above all may you know that the divine lives, and loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Soul sings

My soul sings
Sweet
Beautiful
Confusingly
Crazy
Too leading edge
To be believed

My soul sings
Any way
Alone
Outside
An
Unaccepted
Strangeness

Messages
Intended to
Redirect
Find hope
Where hopeless
Find light
Where dark

A guide through
Deepest
Despair
It has
Never failed
Only and always
Supported
Except where
Others'
Opinions
Wreak havoc

Validation
Illusive
Fears prevent
Honest
Acceptance
Or recognition

My soul sings
My own song
At all costs
Even loneliness
Or sadness

Better to bear all
For the truth
Is always out there
And love
Always wins
Eventually

The horsemen
Riding
May bring doom
Or freedom
Depending on
Ones' perspective

Yet there is
Always
A chance
They are just
Riding
A timeless
Journey
To make
Sense
Of
Senseless

My soul sings
A tune
They hear
But none see
Vibration for
Soul's
Ears and
Heart
Bringing only
Light for
Eyes to see

My soul sings
Do you hear
Do you believe
Do you understand
The song is
Mine
But really
God's

And I
May be
Out of
Tune
Off key
But the
Message is
Still there


   ~ Treasa Cailleach

May your message always be understood and accepted. May you be the best messenger you can be. May you know that you are always loved and accepted for who you are and the songs you sing. May you find your way through this chaotic crazy time and clear the other side stronger for being yourself. May you know you are on the right track regardless of validation or recognition. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Appropriately Colorful Euphemisms- a good start.

Put up or shut up.

Pot calling the kettle black.

Shit or get off the pot.

A few bricks shy of a full load.

My morning started with dreams, a shower rant, and holding a dieing raptor.

The dream was essentially being told I wasn’t listening and I was doing it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a dream maybe it was me loosing to the brain trauma of that sentiment in my repetitive experience. I moved my hands and turned on my Reiki. It helped but did not fix, again.

In the shower I went off about how I have energetically carried everyone my whole life, not even knowing that I was doing it. Their words and actions having an even greater impact me because I felt them on levels our language can’t handle and I had no comprehension for… No one did. I was angry that God didn’t fix it, that nothing I have wanted or enjoyed ever lasted because I would get sucked right back into energetic lead boots. Even worse, was the acknowledgement that my children carry the ripple effects and I’m powerless to fix it.

On my way to work at the 2nd stop sign of my route, there was what I thought was a perigrine laying in the road. Once our vehicle stopped I realized he was still moving. I lept out and picked him up. He was bleeding from his nose, brain truama had definitely occurred. He looked at me and then closed his eyes. Nathan asked where, or if, we could take him for help. I said he wouldn’t make it, there was nothing I could do. I placed him gently in the grass beside the road and got back in the car crying out loud.

I am angry over a lot right now. Traumas I and my brother faced. Diseases we contracted that medical institutions did nothing to solve but pretended to have solutions for. Failures at every turn, often missed by people supposedly educated enough to have God complexes. Angry at myself for allowing the diseases and traumas in, for dragging my family like a whole train of lead carts, for failing to help myself sooner.

I’m angry at the perceived promises and my believing them too long. I’m angry that I didn’t listen to my inner being better and sooner. I’m angry that I’ve been unable to get others to see it and that the same system is doing it again and keeping everyone stressed in the process. That the system itself is dooming us to death sentences, that we are all now ticking time bombs, that no one even registers it’s already begun and the system is set-up to deter real healing because of impacts to profits.

I’m angry that my stumbling through textbooks and the internet has provided answers that help, but still don’t fix it enough to save my life. My best answers were divinely guided, but too slow, too late, to ineffective, and not complete solutions. My connection to God has only slowed everything. At the rate my family is going, and my ability (or lack thereof) to maintain near perfection indefinitely, I might get another couple decades if I’m lucky. If I fail, my life is more likely to end sooner. No miracles have happened, no solutions for any of us, means we are all squarely responsible for our own health however long that may be. So I’m angry that I’ve been unable to get anyone to understand that, and heed warnings which I simply feel in my body and awareness.

The list could go on and on.

But I must stop it.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

I’m not high right now, but would like to be, it helps. I’m not as flexible as is ideal, but would like to be, it helps. I’m not as slender as I’d like to be, my body feels a bit better the slimmer I get, it’s easier to find balance than in my past, it has helped. I’m not as healthy as ideal, but would like to be, it helps. I’m not as smart as I’d like to be, it helps. My intuition isn’t as clear as I would like it be, it has helped more than anything. I like eating everything, but like feeling better more, so I’m doing the best to find the best balance I can.

I can’t fix it, so right now I’m not. I’m not fixing anything. I’m not being there for anyone. I’m not helping anyone see anything. I’m not making a difference or changing the world. I’m not keeping anyone else alive. I’m not dragging anyone with me. I’m not getting my point across. I’m not making anything right. I’m not arguing for anything anymore. I’m not filling others’ roles or expectations anymore. I’m not taking care of anyone else. I’m not repeating myself for anyone. I’m not getting anyone to listen. None of my efforts have worked anyway.

I’m ineffective, misunderstood, misconstrued. I’m intimidating and fear inducing. And none of that is me. No one wants me. No one wants all of me, most everyone only wants one small portion of me. If no one wants all of me, then I want me for me. I’m not mirroring anyone or anything else anymore.

I’m me. What is me? Who is me?

If I really truly drop every iota of that and more, then there’s nothing left but me. Is there any hope left? Is there any kindness left? Is there any healing left? Is it possible, can I just be me for me in wholeness and goodness? Just let go completely and still be alive? I don’t know the answer and I’m scared. Grieving for my family and letting go of everything. Letting go fully is hard when things are going well and energy ties are easy. Grief is hard when it’s only one obstacle. Layers compound everything.

Easy is just breathing. Right now just breathing. Quiet stillness and breathing. It’s a good middle ground that is easy to find. That’s where I will aim. Just quietly breathing and focused on where I sit. It is the closest I can reach for now, for being the fullness of ME, for little ‘ole me. Quietly breathing in this one spot.

May you find your best spot for quiet breathing and know that your best has to be good enough. May you know you will make it through trying times. May you know that being yourself is the best thing you could ever be, and that it doesn’t matter if anyone ever notices, cares, or listens, because God intended you to be just as you are. Above all, may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti


Bird Correction: It was a red shouldered hawk, see link:

https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-shouldered_Hawk/photo-gallery

I’m going to go with between morning lighting and my emotions, the head seemed much more grey in the moment, and belly less red. Still a raptor I couldn’t save. That’s not how I wanted to hold a majestic bird, anyone for that matter. I hate being a harbinger of death, a real life Banshee; death doula makes it sound far too benign. Regardless of the name used, it is my most disturbing talent, which occurs far too frequently for comfort.

Inspired Funny

There is a common trigger point that became funny for me today.

It’s right behind the ball of the foot in the muscular portion of the arch. In Chinese medicine it’s very near Kidney 1, although a bit more proximal (towards the center of the body). In the image above is just about where her thumb knuckles contact her feet.

Trigger points are usually referenced by the muscle they most consume, though some muscles have more than one possible location so then you start using directional labels to distinguish which one. Trigger points often consume more than one layer of muscle tissue, so that’s why I define it as most consumed.

Anyway, the funny part.

The muscle for this particular trigger point is Adductor Hallucis.

I was thinking about how that particular one is active on my right, but not left foot. Then I was thinking about the myriad of reasons it becomes painful: dehydration, low kidney function, toxin buildup in the feet, poor circulation, even just as simple as ‘my feet are hellaciously painful after all that walking/working’. Yet Kidney 1 is our most major grounding point of the body, it is where Hallelujah meets Momma Gaea.

Then I had this funny thought of the people that decided to name muscles. My thought was in the ‘so stupid simple’ mindset:

Sam: alright that brings us to the feet. Let’s start with this big one at the bottom. What should we call that.

Jo: Gee, I don’t know, it seems to connect with everything all the way to the top of the head, so that seems pretty godly to me. But then damn, after a long hard day it sucks as much as anything ever. I want to curse God and the devil both…. I know… Hallucis. … We’ll call it Hallucis. … Where Hallelujah meets Lucifer, it just is.

[This joke doesn’t work as well in the Pagan perspective… Hallelujah meets Pelé, Hades, or Hephaestus… Nope definitely not working there.]

That’s it. That’s where my mind finds funny sometimes. I hope it was funny to you too!

May we all find some humor in this day. May we all feel a bit better in any way that works for you. May we all continue to reach for better always. May we work our way towards better alignment in all ways. Above all, may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Liberating Clearing

I told a client of my current emotional processing of immensely intense stretches releasing deeply held traumas. I said: “It is not for the faint of heart, but that I felt like God was going to smite me if I didn’t do it to the fullest of my ability.”

Between pain, screams of anger at God, intensely deep stretches pushing my own limits, and resulting trauma release responses, especially crying, I feel like I’m making more progress.

My hips are a bit unstable at the moment, and tender doesn’t even begin to describe some of the remnants needing mended. Yet, when I am just sitting I feel more balanced and stable than a week ago.

The process has included many mental image moments that I simply have no idea their true accuracy. The mental images are the closest translation of what my body has been holding.

  • There was an image of a nurse holding me upside down by one ankle (postnatally).
  • There was an image of mom’s belly being so tight from overwork that I was compressed to her spine, in an inability to move fully and properly as a developing baby should.
  • There was a feeling of fear in the midst of a fight, that feeling stirred when an argument hits maximum and you’re afraid of what the other will do.
  • There was a ‘fallen and I can’t get up’ moment where legs felt like they were so tight I simply couldn’t get on my knees and get to standing. (It made me think mom had fallen, but I called her and she’s fine.)
  • There was what I can best call a rebirthing moment. In reality I was born C-section, but I had a fairly clear moment of what it might feel like to be born as my children were, right in the midst of transitioning between hip opening stretches.
  • The neck thing I carry in C1/C2 turned loose as I was working on a spot in my low back. As I was working on releasing the low back L5/SI area, it felt like whiplash had happened at some point. I was wracking my brain for any actual memory of such an event to my lower spine, and all of a sudden clunk in my neck. If the two are truly connected, then the only thing I can place it with is the time I fell on my head off of the end of a slide as a toddler. I’m hoping I released both ends well enough to keep it gone, but have enough experience to know that things are rarely once and done. May I know how to repeat well enough to accomplish full release in as few repeats as possible.
  • There are probably some other moments I’m forgetting, which is likely a good sign.

Anyway, after all of this and more I’m wrapping my brain around elements of pain retention. How our body traps it, not just for us, but for generations. I have been repeating “Heal me and my children as far back as necessary, down to DNA and mitochondria for here, now, through birth and to generations past.”

Then this morning, I was fortunate enough to get a moment of meditation in. I had a strong awareness that I am going to be able to walk away from something soon. In that way that once you really understand something it gets easy. I feel like I’m going to be faced with one of the common topics of my life, for about the last 5 years, and that I’m going to be able to say no easily. The same way that women that have truly worked through abuse can recognize it much faster and refuse it before anything comes of it. It only sort of confused me.

Abraham swears there are no tests and that God isn’t out to get us or punish us. Jesus was fond of similar sentiments.

Yet, there is that momentum thing, when something has been rolling a really long time it takes on a life of it’s own. Some event has to stop that momentum, and sometimes it is simply the measure of knowing ones’ own strength to stop it oneself. Being able to face it one last time and say “nope, not today”, but actually stopping it dead in it’s tracks, not just diverting it. Diversions only slow the momentum, it’ll just keep rolling and eventually cross your path again. No, one must be strong enough to fully and completely stop the ball or assume the impact.

My awareness this morning helps me know that I am strong enough to stop it myself and stay standing. I am not certain which topic it is in regards to, or the details, but I am much more confident in my capabilities to handle whatever it is, and take the higher ground.

May we all have life affirming moments and an awareness of our capabilities. May we all see ourselves as strong enough to stop something with momentum. May we know we are on the right track and heading in the right direction. May we understand our strengths and use those to lift our weaknesses up. May we all process traumas so that we can be more functional, healthy, and help our children heal to stop the parade of generational trauma. Above all, may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti