Category Archives: Me Myself and I

Echo,

Echo, Echo, Echo….


Last night my husband and I took advantage of a digital doctor appointment to get set-up with Medicinal Cannabis Cards. Only a couple of minutes in, the doctor stated “Insurance and Medicine don’t cover tools that heal.” I heard an echo, and Nathan laughed looking directly at me.

She referenced several tools, which I have been attempting in vain to align myself with the resources to accomplish, for myself and my family. She then proceeded to talk about the different elements of medical cannabis and which bodily systems and functions they affected to enable better functionality. She broke down the different CDB’s and terpenes and even the variations of THC and how they affected the body. I was already familiar with some of the data and information, but she gave charts and graphics that really helped narrow down our particular needs and expand our knowledge. I am very appreciative that we will soon be able to access a much more specific array of cannabis tools to help regain health.

Now if I could just get the resources together to do the I-V Oxygenation therapy and even potentially I-V Nutrient therapy for myself and my family. I don’t know how, but I know I need the universe to really cooperate with me.

See 11 years after Nathan’s original diagnosis, and 10 years since our health journey began (& 7 since I got intensely serious), we are still struggling to show success of any kind, and short resources that could potentially make the difference.

We trusted a system that was intended to be a safety net for both the patient and the medical provider. We were told by the hospital, that Nathan was sick enough that we needed to apply for disability to ensure he got care and the hospital got compensated.

We fought and fought. We gave up briefly, then fought some more.

He is finally classified as disabled, but we only got $560.00 in SSI and not a stitch of disability thus far. The lawyer claimed $150 of that and the hospital still wants us to pay them the $110,000.00 we owe them. His student loan is a mountain of paperwork away from being a headache though, not that anyone cares to help with that either. And his recent new diagnosis of Kidney Failure, a different hospital has offered to do standard dialysis, and they are helping him get set-up with medicaid.

He’s gotten more input from the Acupuncturist at the clinic than his team of medical professionals put together.

I have stated the following, many ways, in many posts, but feel the need to reiterate.

I can only speak for the American medical systems, as that is what I have dealt with for a decade.

There is no safety net if you really need it. There are just a lucky few that manage to squeak past all the hurdles and loopholes to actually get what the system promises.

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They want you to stay sick, because if you really can’t pay, eventually the government will one way or another. See that $110,000.00 we owe to KU Med, if we never ever pay, eventually they will completely write it off, and the government will give them concessions on their taxes. They know that. But it will continue to haunt Nathan’s credit report for as many years as they can drag it out. Tell me how that is okay!!!!

Bonus: if you stay sick, they keep making money on treating your symptoms, regardless of how expensive of a process that may be. There is no incentive for them to get you well. Again, how is that okay!!!!

But I am just a disgruntled bitter person wanting my health back from a disease that they could have solved 80 years ago if they had really want to. They don’t want to solve viruses, because they make too damn much money off of them, and doctors toe the line instead of standing up for what is right and healing their patients.

In July of 1946 the World Health Organization or WHO defined health as:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.

Tell me how Covid or Epstein-Barr or any other chronic virus, being allowed to run rampant, is creating health for anyone, especially our entire society. Tell me how shutting down society for a year, causing businesses to close, and people to loose homes and jobs, knowing full well that Western Medicine has no real solution for any virus, is enabling our world to find Health.

The WHO had no problem breaking their own goals of promoting health to try and “STOP” a virus, but they also have no problem enabling insurance companies and medical institutions to keep ignoring the real problems and the potential solutions right under their noses. Because the solutions make less money than the symptom treatments.

I am furious right now, and it has been directed at god more than a couple of times the last couple of weeks. This shit should have stopped 40 years ago, but just keeps being perpetuated by old greedy mostly-white bastards, and the rest of the population just lets it keep happening because they refuse to educate themselves and join forces to make it change. There will be no solution to this mess ever if that doesn’t happen. You can’t find a solution if you never try.

If you just wallow in the problem and throw your hands up in the air as “they said it’s all we have” then that is exactly what you will continue to get.

As for Nathan and I, we are doing our best to move towards our own individual solutions as quickly as possible. It does mean I have been extra extra busy and am now writing less. Please keep us in your prayers that we find all the solutions and resources we need.

May you have the solutions you need. May you know exactly what to do. May you see the falacy of things that will not help you. May you find a way to keep progressing towards better. May things generally start to get easier for you. May you know you have your health under control and stabilized as much as humanly possible. May you always have supportive medical staff. AND above all else, may you know that God loves and supports you, even when it seems otherwise.

Om Shanti

Old ditty

I found an old little poem I did, while going through my wallet. I did it as a reminder for myself. It seems appropriate so I thought I would share in lieu of actual posts not happening.

The geese walked with me around the pond by second job on Saturday. They were beautiful and kind reminders too.

May you have helpful reminders when you need them. May you feel better and feel supported. May you know it’s going to be alright.

Om Shanti

I Survived the Thickness

The thick, the sick, the chemicals, and everything else laid to waste. This “mad world” has not taken me under yet, and if I have my say it won’t claim anyone else either.

I have survived chemicals in my drinks: flouride, chlorine, and other trace chemicals in my water, and sodas with sugar, acid and artificial sweeteners. I have survived chemicals in my foods: preservatives, pesticides, and others.

I survived it all.

I have survived Epstein-Barr for probably 27 years or more. I survived the damage it did to my thyroid and my emotions. The damage it caused to my pancreas, and allergies inflicted.

I survived the resulting ripple it caused for pregnancy and birth. I not only survived, I have taken care of myself and found some healing, even if it was slow.

Then I survived Covid and it’s havoc on my body taking everything negative and bringing it directly to my immediate awareness. It flared everything Epstein-Barr started, and took it a step further, driving me nearly insane. It damaged my son’s brain and my husband’s kidneys, but we’re all still alive.

Regardless of western medicines’ lack of ability to solve any of it, I will find a way. See I’m a thriver at heart.

If nastiness like that only takes me down, I survive, and I eventually overcome. Then, once I fully overcome all of it, I will thrive in a massive way. I look forward to that time.

For now I’m giving myself credit.

I deserve the beautiful body to match my beautiful insides, and to do that I have to stay focused on my love for myself.

I found reverse osmosis water and organic produce. I found auto-immune Paleo and Raw diets to enable healing. I found numerous supplements to manage symptoms and enable healing. I found my way out of darkness because of Dr Illardi’s ” Depression Cure”. I revived my love of the sun and found ways to love physical activity. I make an effort to connect with nature, mother Earth, and humanity.

I have taken care of my entire family since July of 2010. I have kept us alive and housed, and clothed and fed.

I helped my father and an acquaintance in the midst of their hard times.

I have donated time, items, and money to charities and individuals.

I help people on my table to feel better and find their own healing every day.

And through all of it I have even found a way to take care of myself. I have given myself space for healing to the best of my ability. I have done everything I could to feel better, as often as I was able.

I am strong and capable. I know how to persevere.

I am smart, nay very intelligent and I choose to use my gifts for good. I do my best to educate everyone I come in contact with.

I may never reach the same enlightened master level such as the likes of AdiYogi Shiva, Buddha, or J├ęsus, but I did mine while caring for others daily. I did mine while birthing and raising children. I did mine while fighting diseases in my own body and caring for a husband with even more complex health concerns. AND I did mine when Western Medicine was bent on doing only the lazy, simplest, send you on your way options.

So, if you ask me, my battles have been more challenging and the fact I’ve made it this far is majorly commendable.

So yes, I am focusing on my victories and accomplishments. I am loving myself so my inner beauty can be seen by everyone. I love me and I deserve the best for myself. I deserve recognition. I deserve to be acknowledged for my healing journey, everything I have gone through and survived, to reach for thriving.

I love me and I hope you love yourself too.

May you see your accomplishments. May you acknowledge your own gifts. May you love yourself and honor others for their tough journies too. Above all may you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti