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My Middle Path

I stopped myself- twice.

I read an extremely biased news article that got me all riled up and angry and frustrated. It seems news no longer understands unbiased reporting because every news agency does it to one degree or another. Yet, I know deep in my being that either side is just a manifestation of our societal constructs which creates endless reasons to fight with each other. It is a toxic endless battle on whatever topic you choose and it is counter productive to my own personal goals for growth. So when the article caused me to speak my own truth, but out of that frustration and anger, I watched expressions change on faces of coworkers and stopped myself from continuing on knowing my words did not set well with them. I started to write it out and thought better of that as well.

Believe what you want to believe. Argue for what you want to argue for OR against. You’ll continue to get both regardless.

I choose neither. Somewhere there is a middle ground of freedom.

I choose that middle road. The middle path which is less clear and frequently uncharted.

I acknowledge that not all of my beliefs serve me very well and I choose to improve on them. I also acknowledge that my experiences and learning/knowledge have formed many of my beliefs and running practices. Again, some of those serve me well and some don’t.

My recent awareness is one such moment. I sometimes wish I had the naive view that vaccines are the perfectly safe and perfect miracle that all of Western medicine would like us all to believe. Unfortunately my knowledge, daily awareness and intuition tell me otherwise. However, regardless of my knowing none of that helps me reach for healthy. In fact it gets me riled up and angry, which is a source of stress and not helpful in my own personal search for healing.

So I sit and acknowledge that my middle path must acknowledge several things.

  • No government, even going back to the beginning of civilized humanity, has truly and completely solved anything for everyone. But all governments help in some ways.
  • No medical institution has ever truly and completely solved disease and doctors are not God. Yet there are some helpful elements of medicine, and we can all reach for more of those and less of the risky unreliable rushed ones.
  • Fighting for or against anything only begets more of the reason to fight. So reaching for the middle is always the best answer- see the positives and logical basis of both sides to reach for solutions.
  • Everyone chooses a belief based upon something. Finding the common ground is where solutions lie.
  • True solutions only come when people agree to work together and compromise and take the strengths of either side to apply them to processes intent on improvement.
  • I am a small fish in a big sea of people wanting real solutions.
  • I am not alone in feeling like all previous attempts have been futility in action. So that means I am not alone in knowing that we probably should have just reached for the best normal we could muster and let go of the struggle, fighting and fear.
  • I am one of billions, even trillions, wanting safer and more reliable options, that allow for freedoms and multiple choices.
  • Governments know that when they are faced with forcing people to comply they know they have ultimately already lost the battle. Every historical instance of that has always been been overturned or reversed and often after major battles/wars and government restructuring. It would be nice if the latter was avoided this time.
  • Everyone wants to feel safe and also have the freedom of travel and living life as usual.
  • Governments may not be entirely reliable on all fronts, but they often do their best to reach for solutions for the most and they rarely actually put anything into place that is significantly questionable. They are aware that if something is on weak stance to begin with, that they are unlikely to be able to maintain it even if they try to start it. Those things rarely become laws and seemingly never remain as such.

So,

  • My most important choice is to let all of this go and reach for my center, my middle path.
  • I must find the knowing that all is well and I am here to create change in whatever way that means.
  • Only in the middle, will I find the peace to enable my own healing.
  • I am helping. I am healing.
  • I am healing myself from top to bottom, inside and out, every nerve, every muscle, every organ, every cell, every molecule, every atom.
  • I bring healing to others as well.
  • I allow my own healing to spill forth to heal my environment and everyone I come in contact with.
  • I trust that my ripples of light will enable God to bring even greater healing to the world as a whole.
  • I am now capable of seeing the fight for it’s toxicity and it has enabled more control over finding the middle path more frequently.
  • I am grateful that I have been able to care for myself and my family.
  • I am grateful that we have survived Covid twice when the system reacted too slowly to matter for us.
  • I am grateful I have been able to improve both mine and my husband’s health.
  • I am grateful I have healthy beautiful children.
  • I am grateful I’ve been able to maintain my home and work, in all the ways that means.
  • I am grateful I have enough to get through these times.
  • I am grateful that I am strong enough, and smart enough, and aware enough, to navigate all of these many complex elements during this time.
  • I am grateful I have access to healthy foods, vitamins and supplements which enable healing for me and those I love.
  • I am capable and aware. “I am lion hear me roar.” My own abilities are my greatest asset and I thank God for every day that I have lived and overcome. Without my genetics, life experience and exposures, I would not be who I am today. I have done great things that society never even noticed, all because I am who I am and my divine blessings were not easily documentable for another’s view.
  • I saw the sun shine, the wind blow, birds at feeders and pets on laps. I saw beautiful flowers and wildlife being themselves. This world is good when we allow it.
  • I am grateful I took the time for me, and that I see the beauty in the easy moments. Life is better with less struggle.

May you see your middle path. May you feel genuine gratitude for being here in this world. May your inner knowing guide you to your way through all that is. May you find the ease and relish in every moment. May you know for certain that through ease and flow is healing. Above all may you know that God supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

“The Middle Path is doing whatever is neither side in the current moment.” – ME aka Treasa Cailleach

“Let the walls crack, it let’s the light in” ~PINK

It’s real. The best reaction that western medicine has is a mask. Their precious vaccine has failed, and that is on top of the risks taken by those that took it. Too bad Europe was the only one with enough sense to discontinue use of them. See screen shots… Here in KC the two most populous counties have 90% and 93% vaccination rate, and we still are in the high transmission rate for the delta variant. And from my daily experience it is definitely passing rapidly, but many aren’t registering on testing.

I’m over wearing the mask because every response that medicine has had is just that- a response. By the time I was reading the news article notifying me the CDC had recommended going back to masking, I had likely already had the dammed Delta variant and here’s the kicker it didn’t show on Covid testing (for several clients too).

Two posts ago I had noted I wasn’t going to write on topics for fear of attracting worse, and here’s why.

I had caught a “sinus infection” from the one chiropractor. He had gotten tested for covid and it came back negative, his doc suggested it was a run of the mill sinus infection, especially since it was allergy season. I fared the same as him, except that where allergy-induced sinus-infections usually run less than a week for me, this one ran almost two. I wasn’t stupid and started masking immediately. Nathan was the only person to catch it from me and he ended up with Covid light, probably because he’s already in kidney failure, but it still didn’t show on Covid testing. He was tested on 2 of 3 ER trips and tested again in the Walgreens drive thru. None of them showed Covid. He had the high fever, the sinus infection, tightness in his chest, and occasional cough. It caused him to completely loose his appetite and he spent two solid weeks in bed sleeping every day away. I genuinely thought he was dieing on me. That combined with dialysis dropped his blood pressure out the bottom and he had seizures and panic attacks from low blood pressures and starvation. It was those episodes which led to 3 ER trips, one of which excised an abscess that resulted when the acupuncturist gave him herbs to kick the virus. The herb is Yin Chao and it literally pushes external influences out of the body, that pushing out process is what triggered the abscess.

It was 3 weeks of hell, which I handled amazingly well considering I was doing everything, while still doing my best to maintain my work schedule. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, caring for kids, making meals, and of course navigating the multiple trips to the ER as best as I was able.

Nathan is starting to pull back up because I kicked him in the ass verbally and made him reach for what he was doing before dialysis. I explained he was doing well enough that they almost didn’t catch the kidney failure. I told him he needed to connect with his inner self and reach for what his body needed and wanted and definitely get back to what he was doing before. I reinforced that most of his problems were acidity from starvation because he wasn’t eating. Then I kept shoving electrolyte laden waters and high quality vegan nutrition drinks at him. The combination helped him climb up and now he is trying to figure out stasis. He’s not clear yet, but much closer than any of the ER docs or dialysis docs were getting him to. If I had left it up to them he’d still be starving and just being monitored. They weren’t even very proactive on adjusting his dialysis treatments to keep his BP from dropping out the bottom. And that’s nothing to mention several stupid things we learned along the way, including the fact that the hospital was short small needles because they had all been sidlined for vaccines.

I’m over it. I did everything inside and outside the home this month, while watching my husband waste away, while doctors just watched. My kids all freaked, and both Ian and Anya asked me if Dad was dieing. I’m sure Katherine would have if she had had the vocabulary to do so.

Here’s the deal.

We all could die at any minuet. If it’s not Covid, it’s cancer, or car accident, or work accident, or any one of dozens of other viral or bacterial infections.

Yet we are alive and functional. We are all living life as best as we can, and nothing that has been done the last year and a half was a true solution. Nothing actually fixed Covid for real.

Viruses will mutate because they want to live too. If you introduce something that limits their chance of survival, they will mutate around it, every time.

If all that we as society can manage, is a response, then isn’t it high time our responses become treatments that help people kick and heal from viral infections?

That is the light through the crack in the wall.

Let go of the fear and live.

I will wear masks as needed, but I am over being afraid. I’m not afraid of this or any other disease anymore. I’m no longer afraid of Nathan dieing because I just spent a month living with a walking dead man and doing everything our household needed. I’m just not living in fear anymore.

On the same token, I deserve better than this shit. I am refusing to succumb to the fear and darkness because I deserve better. My life can only improve if I scream “F- You!” at fear and live in expectation of everything getting better.

So that is where I am aimed.

For now I’m needing to cook dinner and then get kids to bed.

May you find a way around fear. May you know you are a survivor and know how to hear your inner self to know exactly what you need. May we all see better days ahead. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti