Category Archives: My creations

Gifting thoughtfulness.

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Gift giving came up as a topic of discussion at work the day before yesterday. Essentially, one person was asking another if they should be concerned about how a gift was received by 3rd party (not present). The question was centered around timing and the response to the gift as perceived by the gift giver. The gifter wanted to know if they should be offended.

This topic made me stop and think about one of my interactions recently.

I was always taught that gifting should be from the heart, and well thought and well executed regardless of the price tag. My mom taught me it was better to make something for someone than go buy something for them just because it would fill the gift void quickly. She always leaned towards baked goods or stitched items being those were her strong suits. I learned young my strength was drawing and I have always done art or handmade cards for my more special gifts.

So fast forward to this discussion and relating to a gift exchange between me and someone I have been attempt to reconnect with in a more casual way. I realized that my end of the gift exchange may have taken too long and that the other person might be wondering what is up with that.

The problem here is that if I’m prepping for a scheduled event (birthday, anniversary, holiday) I start my project far enough in advance to hopefully ensure it is delivered on time. But when my art is a response to a received gift, it takes longer than just running to the store or spending a few minutes online. It’s not an immediate turn around.

Additionally, I have trouble telling someone I am creating something for them because I have jobs and kids and a garden and pets. I want to complete the project, but the reality is that if I’m not getting paid or having to do something it falls to the bottom of my to-do list. It will get done, but it might take quite a while before I can fit in the necessary time to do it.

So then, I became very self conscious about not having returned the sentiment of thanks for the gift I had received. I spent about 30 minutes online browsing choices that I felt would be good picks. I put thought into quantity and descriptions of the items, especially considering known preferences my person has. I wanted to get something that would fill my time delay void, not break my bank, but show that I had tried to get something neat that I was hoping they didn’t already have. I placed my order, not expensive, but not cheap either. Then I proceeded to let my person know that my intended thank you gift was taking longer than expected but there was a substitute on it’s way.

After work I then proceeded to ensure I worked on the originally intended gift. It’s a two part project. Essentially two images, but done in electronic arts. They are Photoshop type images, but where I’m needing to do heavy retouching and assembly of multiple original sources.

The first idea was based off the “Magic the Gathering” cards I’ve had renewed interest in. I want to do an image that would look like the seraphim class in magic (angels). I’m going to put real images together to create a male angel warrior over a mountain landscape. I have most of my imagery pulled, but have yet to start peicing together the finished project.

The other project is similar, but is intended as a feel good reminder for them. I have finished it, and it’s somewhat amusing in the final image. I was aiming for giving them have something to look to for those tough days when you know you’re helping, but the evidence doesn’t really show it. We’ve all had those days and I know for sure this person has too, but they’re not one of those that says everything on their mind. So I thought if they had a quiet boost they could hide and pull out as needed it would be good.

Once I finished that part last night I sat back and said they are either going to think it’s awesome, or hilarious, or they’re going to hate it. I hope it’s one of the first two responses, and I’m sorry if they hate it. I had good intentions. I’d put it on here, but I used just their face in part of my kit-bashing, so I don’t know if they would be okay with that. Anyway, hopefully like my mom taught me, it’s the thought that counts.

Now I just have to make time to fit in the other half. It is a more complex image, so I suspect it’s going to take me about 6 hours, which means two or 3 attempts at sitting down to my design computer. I don’t know if I can pull that off this week, but I’m sure going to try.

What do you think about gift giving? Am I on the right track? Should I have told them I was working on something sooner? Or was my “fill the void” purchase what I should have done in the first place? Did I wait too long because I wanted to be casual and not seem needy? Am I overthinking this?

May you all have good gift giving experiences. May you know gifts received and gifts given, were all well thought. May you love all your gifts. May you see the kindness and forethought of any gift received. May you find yourself in gift exchanges more and more often. May you know kindness matters and that you are able to be kind enough as often as possible. May you know that all gifting is an expression of love and that some people really enjoy that particular experience. May you know how to act and when, to not seem too needy but still convey your caring. May you know you are loved and accepted just as you are.

Siva Hir Su

Wowsers.

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Two humorous but kinda astonishing tidbits from the last 24 hours.

1) Yesterday after work Nathan and I went to the grocery store and ordered Chinese while there. I went to pick up the order and meet him at the car after we both checked out. On the way back to the car, carrying a very large bag of takeout and still wearing scrubs, I was hit on. A 30 something black man dressed like Tupac said “Hey there doctor lady, how you doin’?”. I replied “Doing ok, but I’m not a doctor.” He said “Where’s your wedding band?” I replied “My tattoo is my wedding ring.” He said “That’s respectable.” I kept walking, never having broken stride.

I later laughed with Nathan in the car. I was flabbergasted, and said “Did he really think that was going to work?!” Nathan reminded me of the many people that treat passes like a game of darts or the lottery- at some point one should surely stick. I was sad for the woman that would fall for his line. Despite having complete freedom to act on such an offer, I was so annoyed and appalled at his attempted pick-up lines that I couldn’t have even remotely wanted to. I reminded the universe that I have always wanted quality over quantity. He was most definitely not quality, I’m much happier with the black man I do have, and would rather like some quality partners like Nathan, especially at least one woman. Despite enjoying the moment of being hit on, it was of more value as an amusing clarifying experience.

2) Amazement! My little Katherine is a bonified cat girl.

Nathan tried to put her in the crib 3 times this evening. She wouldn’t go down without a fight.

The struggle started with holding his shirt and reaching a foot to the crib rail.
She managed to get both of the rails with feet and he had to dive her head first into the crib while peeling her hands off his shirt.

Finally her got her in and I went to hug him and Ian before bedtime rituals began. As we were in our group hug she climbed out and we turned around just in time to see her like this on the rails.

This picture really happened on 3rd pass, but was the same position.

We put her back in the crib, got the camera cued up and waited. She wouldn’t do it again until we turned around. So she again was perched atop rails before I got pictures.

We reset, we wanted to catch her in the act. Again she wouldn’t do it for us. I stowed the phone but didn’t turn around. She finally started climbing. She was wedging her feet and calves between the verticle rails and inching up enough to get one foot up on the top of the rail. She was so fast I didn’t get a shot of that moment and ended up with a third round of her standing on the side of the crib!

Jimminey Freaking Christmas! What are we going to do with a cat baby that refuses to talk! There isn’t anything she can’t do physically now. I really would like for her to start talking.

May you have amusing moments of clarification. May you be happy for your children’s milestones, even when they scare the crap out of you. May you know how to handle your super smart, born tech ready, children. May you always have quality over quantity. May you enjoy and appreciate the qualities in you that lead to the myriad of moments like these two. May you know you are loved and supported. May you appreciate the good aspects of all moments.

Siva Hir Su

On the surface I screwed up.

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Side note: The hip/low back is not solved yet. Still in progress, but better. I will revisit it after my short shift this afternoon. For now I sit on ice.

The second topic for today is a mistake, which wasn’t a complete mistake.

On the surface I scared an older clinic client on accident. She came in nervous about the virus, and hesitant because she didn’t know me and usually saw one of the other therapists. I tried to soothe her nerves and it backfired. She got more agitated and decided to not do the massage.

So my mistake was in words intended to soothe but which failed to do so. But it caused the clinic to loose a paid appointment and the chiropractor to have an uncomfortable phone call the following day. For that I’m truly sorry, and have apologized profusely for it. I own it completely and would have done the call if it hadn’t been for the caller’s specific request.

Where it is not so much a mistake and important for me to acknowledge, is that I got what I wanted. I law of attractioned myself some fine tuning.

I realized later that all of my clients that I really enjoy working with are nearly the opposite. They are mostly healthy and always aiming for improvement, and none of them are afraid of much, let alone viral news. They are all confident in their being a part of a functioning society and life in general. I really appreciate that immensely.

Because I am so appreciative of those clients, I have attracted fewer and fewer of the opposite like the one I scared. I currently don’t have any of my nursing homes, my house calls are down to 3, and one of them spaced way further out than normal. And clinic clients that are scared generally aren’t scheduling with me to begin with, and really never did at all.

Yet at the same time I have had a gaggle of new clients that have all become regulars or at least repeat clients. A couple have admitted financial limitations, but promised they will reschedule as they are able.

So I had an uncomfortable moment with a perceived loss that ultimately helped me to acknowledge that I have stayed busy enough without any scardy cats scheduling. That feels good and like relief.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate anyone that has bought into the fear. In fact I feel rather sorry for them and wish I could help. But this failed appointment also reminded me that sometimes you can’t fix something for someone else even if you want to. We were so far apart in vibrational alignment that she simply could not hear me and find ease. She could not reach for a soothing place. Additionally, it would have taken me down and been very difficult on me to drop to her level. That is something I am beginning to see simply isn’t worth it. I like improvement enough that I would rather keep reaching for better, than drag myself down trying to help others find their version of better.

Lately, I even dislike conversations where people want me to commiserate with them. I find I either end up going silent, doing the “uh hmm’s”, or politely arguing with them. The latter being my least preferred response because I don’t benefit from upset clients. Sometimes though I know something so strongly to my core that I simply can’t tolerate someone trying to convince me otherwise, on the table or not. I just try to stay polite and keep it short and move on to other topics.

So all in all, my fine tuning means:

  • I’d prefer scared people to just not schedule with me at all. Same goes for people that want to commiserate or argue.
  • If they must schedule with me, then keeping their fears or arguments to themselves is important.
  • I’m perfectly okay with quiet and/or silent sessions.
  • I much prefer confident healthy people on my table.
  • I enjoy friendly people that have good conversations (I’ve had several lately over fitness, meditation, nutrition, and alternative healing choices, I like that a lot.)
  • I enjoy finding common ground with those on my table.
  • I like the relief of knowing I can help someone because we’re closer in vibrational alignment.
  • I like repeat clients a lot.
  • I like having a full schedule.
  • I really like people with stable enough finances that they tip well, and I repeat my many thank you’s for those I’ve already received.
  • I enjoy a good challenge in my work, just not so much of a challenge that it depletes me for other sessions.
  • I enjoy knowing that I am able to solve many muscular based concerns and that I know when clients need to seek additional help. I am also very grateful I have qualified chiropractors & acupuncturists to refer to in office, and other types of providers outside of the office. That is especially helpful when my skills are not enough to solve client concerns.
  • I am grateful that I have a steady flow of clients and income.
  • I am grateful for the relief I have felt this last year and look forward to more of that.
  • I am glad that I keep getting stronger and healthier to keep doing the work that I enjoy.
  • I also enjoy having the graphic design work on the side to help have more income without exhausting myself.
  • I have immensely enjoyed having time with my kids and husband and pets, and time in my garden is good too.
  • I am grateful for the knowing that I am mostly in the flow of that which is wanted and that the universe is supporting me.
  • I look forward to even more improvement.

May you all have your fine tuning moments of acknowledgement. May you see where you goofed and know how to attract corrections. May you appreciate your world and your place in it. May you continue to help move society forward. May you feel mostly good and have just the right clients continue to flow into your experience. May you have the help you need and the things you seek. May you have more fun in the process. May your skills be evident and acknowledged by others. May you feel loved and appreciated.

Siva Hir Su

Photo is not me, obviously if you’re a regular reader, but it was the closest stock image to a real massage. I dislike the images where clients are not on the table right, or it’s obviously a posed scene, it perpetuates rediculous sterotypes and misconceptions. Just FYI.