Category Archives: When I’m not so crazy

For Better or Worse.

You layed yours
Bare
In return
I layed my sword
In vow
To honor our commitment
To life
As chosen family
God, Goddess and
Loved ones
Witness
Our vows to
Honor
Cherish
Love and respect
You and yours
As long as we
Live our days
In this world
For better
Or worse
We've mastered the latter
It's time for
Better
~Treasa Cailleach

I promised Nathan and his daughter I would do everything in my power to be true to our commitment for life together. Since then we’ve had two more beautiful children, whom inherited my vow. It has been really, really hard for a long time, but I have done everything in my power to keep my commitment. Even my outbursts of anger, frustration, and despair, always reconciled by apologetic countenance.

I love him and our children and I always will. We are due some serious improvement, and I’m doing everything I can to find my patience and get ready to be ready.

May you find a love strong enough for that bond. May you know for certain you could withstand those moments and not need to prove it to anyone including yourself. May you find that your bond flourishes in love and becomes stronger daily, and you still are able to enjoy life frequently in an easy flow of abundance. May you love all of your family, chosen, biological, and even neither, and may you never be forced into cutting ties with any of them. Above all, may you know and understand that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Uplifting moments

I spent several days working on pulling up emotionally. And wanted to share some of them.

My massage is due to start in about 10min. Much needed relief, and bonus he’s coming to my home office. I won’t even have to drive afterwards. Yea!

May you have plenty of uplifting moments. May you enjoy your life as much as possible. May you health always cooperate with you. May you find ways to ground and center as frequently as possible.

Om Shanti

Catching Up: 1

Emptying into Thanks

With everything going on and not writing, my body is accumulating the stress too much. Even with all my other tricks, I feel like I have 10 tons piled on my shoulders. It doesn’t help I’ve had all the allergens this week and that too pissed my body off.

That being said I acknowledge that I need to empty in all the ways, and it just takes time. I’m doing my best to accomplish that as usual.

I am super grateful for the help I have received this week.

Both work locations were kind enough to help ensure shifts we’re covered. Shifts at the clinic were so last minute that the office staff just had to call all my clients and reschedule them. I hope the clients are understanding. The other job I tried the phone tree and failed, having to relegate to management to solve my inability to come in.

The homeschool group provided several meals and funds for several more via “MealTrain.com”. One parent sent their teen to help ours wrangle kids on Friday and Saturday, and then the same parent took everyone to the zoo on Monday. Another parent helped with logistics of getting Nathan home after discharge.

The office staff has been very supportive as well. Hugs and genuine concern from everyone has been expressed, and they are encouraging me to care for me too. The chiropractor adjusted me even though his schedule is packed, and the acupuncturist is treating me here in a little while, and her offer stands for Nathan while the port heals. I can’t express how much that means to me.

I am so overwhelmed that I’ve cried on nearly everyone, and those that didn’t get tears could probably tell I was doing my best to hold them in. It’s an odd combination of too much piled on me, but also overwhelming relief because the last time I went through this I had no one. Of course, at that point we only had Anya part time, so my load is 4 times as great now with extra kids, pets and work. Just knowing others genuinely care and want to help is tear provoking. It’s literally the two extremes simultaneously.

Even our poochy has been good. When Nathan got home Zen didn’t jump or hug as usual. He sat to get petted and sniffed Nathan’s incisions and port through his shirt. He knew daddy was hurting bad and was being an extra good dog giving loves without being rough. It made both of us cry.

The hyper sensitivity is getting us, and I’m officially exhausted not having had a recuperation day in a solid month. Questionable moments aside, because we had/have help, I think I will make it through.

For those of you aware and following, thank you for your prayers and support. My world is committed and challenging, but the uplifting energy helps me immensely at times. This is one of several posts to empty my brain, and all comments are welcome, feel free to spread the reading love out. The posts won’t disappear.

May you find your stress relief efforts are adequate. May you have the support you need around you always. May you know you don’t have to carry it alone. May you understand that others care for you and want well-being for you. May you understand the significance of everything. May you give yourself a break, and care for yourself especially in tough times.

Om Shanti