Tag Archives: 6 senses

Figured it out: 2

So, I found myself reevaluating my SG/SJ (or is it JS?) Online duo from aeons ago. I realized that at this point, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out at least one half of the duo, I don’t need confirmation anymore. Not only that, I have come to a comfortable place of not wanting or needing them to do anything. I realized that even if they did come forward with honesty, that at this point I would probably be wary of a continuation of that dishonesty and all their half-truths, and it would be rather pointless. I also realized that I would have difficulty trusting much of anything, and that isn’t what a solid relationship is built upon. Additionally, I realized that anyone willing to do what was done, and not seek forgiveness sooner, has bigger psychological problems needing addressed that I’d rather avoid. Especially in a been there, done that, sort-of way. I know that I personally deserve better because I did already deal with that, and in several instances in my lifetime. I won and now it’s time for rewards.

That then stirred thinking.

Between relearning how to play Magic the Gathering, and relearning to separate singular from plural “they”  by using “they are” vs “they are all”, and several other similar relearnings, I know am doing better and better everyday.

The biggest factor is because I am learning to play the new game of life, with the new rules, and I’m doing quite well with it.

We are all in that boat, and some of us are doing better than others. Those that are unable to learn the new ways will eventually perish. I’d like to believe that I am doing better than enough to survive, but only time will tell. For that reason I’m grateful to every person that helps me learn an aspect of the new ways. Yet I’m not perfect and still make my own mistakes. So, I am also grateful when I figure something out enough to help my children or those around me, but I’m also grateful when those around me have patience with my moments of failure where I’m still playing catch up.

I think it’s time we all start cooperating and working together to navigate this new world we are living in. I think it’s time to acknowledge limitations so that we can work together to compensate for those limitations and find better solutions. I believe it is time to let go of forcing ourselves or anyone else to do, act, behave, or be certain ways. There are more options than that, if we let them in, and frankly I would love to let all of the good in.

For me personally I am doing my best. I am doing my best to be a kinder, gentler mom, and show my children how to navigate this world one step at a time. I am doing my best to be a good friend to those I care about, and show them I do care, by thinking of them and then following through with those moments of thought. I’m doing my best to take care of my husband and help him.

But beyond all of that I am doing my best to acknowledge my own limitations and give myself a break. I would love to do more for more people, hell I would love to do more for those I already care about. Sometimes I feel bad because I want to do more and can’t, and I’m doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I am only one human, and I do have limits of both time and resources. You can only fit so much into a day or week, and you can only help so many before it takes a toll on self, and that is where I’m at. It has started taking a toll and I must care for myself or I will break again.

So, today I have focused on positive self-talk and the things that I need. I have focused on moments that I have provided for others and asked: “How I can let those same moments in for myself?” I have focused on movements and what my body is telling me: what is tight, where are the restrictions and why. I have focused on giving my body space to breathe and for energy to flow. I have chased down blocks for both clients and myself, even if there are many more to go. I did a little art work on my big commissions, and bought a bouquet of flowers for a friend who’s under-the-weather from chemo. I have flowed the Reiki for myself and my clients. And, I have written this to congratulate myself, because if no one else does, then I must honor and respect myself. I am doing my best, and all things considered it’s not half bad, so I deserve to have kudos in any form it takes.

There are solutions and I am intent on finding them. I wish for everyone around me to heal, and the best way to enable that is to figure out this new life and the new rules, and make it work well enough for myself to show others it is possible. We all deserve better and I will continue to do my best to pave a way for that.

I am doing better and better, and I wish that for everyone, and I deserve to see it begin to manifest. My body is healing, slowly, but surely, and I wish that for everyone. Let’s make this plandemic fail and let all the chips fall. We can do it if we all work together and acknowledge that because of said event, the world and human experience, has changed in many ways. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube there is no going back. We must all do our best to move forward and find new ways of living, but most of all find new ways to work together for actual solutions. Humanity will evolve, or our species will quickly become extinct. For me personally, I have new dietary needs and reactions, and healing damage to organs can take a long while. I will continue to do my best to support my body as fully as I am able.

I am doing my best to let go of the past, the old ways, the old rules, the old language structure, the old habbits of being. Because, only in letting go can I allow the new ways to be absorbed/learned. I deserve to allow as much as I am humanly able, and I deserve to experience patience from those around me. Everything takes time, everything in due time.

I am worthy and I deserve to be free and healthy.

You do too!

May you see your way to allowing better for yourself and others. May you have patience with others still learning the things you’ve mastered first. May you see there are many ways to accomplish the same goals, and that everyone deserves access to all of them, not just a singular one to be forced. May you see that health is more than avoiding disease, and that often the human experience is learning how to overcome any obstacle you face. May you see that how well you navigate all obstacles is a major factor in your health. May you understand that feelings felt are the indicator of how accurate your thought was, and really have no bearing on the topic thought about. May you see a way to find the best feeling thought regardless of how tough the topic at hand is. May we all survive this shift and find a way to thrive in this new version of human experience. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Sense-ative!

Today we took the kids back to Wonderscope. They really do enjoy going there, even masked.

We aimed to just let them play themselves out, and had no set time limit. It was very crowded compared to our initial visit. It seems even though Delta is spreading like wildfire regardless of vaccination or not, people are just over being cooped up. Life is beginning to look normal again, very slowly. Us risky humans, we can only take so much restriction and then all bets are off. It’s a good thing Covid wasn’t worse, because we definitely hit a limit where we’re either at least attempting to enjoy life or we might as well be dead, and once we finally know that we take our chances.

However for me, I’m not sure it’s a good thing. At least just yet.

At about 2 hours in, I began to feel off, and like I was fighting fatigue intensely. I couldn’t explain it because I’d fasted on Thursday all day, and felt pretty darn good before showing up. Plus, I hadn’t had anything that would set off an allergic reaction, as far as I was aware. I was simply perplexed as to why I was suddenly so tired. Yet, it was enough that after contemplation and acknowledging it might not be me, I popped an extra dose of thyroid meds, carefully poking it into my masked mouth.

About 20 minutes later I began feeling nauseous and my head began throbbing. Something definitely felt awry and I was wracking my brain as to what could have possibly triggered this moment. I let my husband know that I wasn’t feeling great, but couldn’t figure out why. He said he was also starting to get tired and we agreed to work on getting children to wrap up. Katherine was showing some intense fatigue as well.

Nathan went to convince her to stop playing and walked up to her right as she smacked another child. The fatigue had won and she let frustration get the best of her. As parents we immediately pulled her aside and scolded her for smacking the child. I knew though that it wasn’t just frustrated acting out. I could see the pattern I experienced starting to show on my family. We quickly gathered everyone and left for the day.

Nathan needed to stop at the hardware store next door before we went home, so the rest of us piled into the van and got settled for the ride home. I simply told Katherine to just be her and relax. I repeated “Just be Katherine, just be you.” a couple of times. Then I started repeating it for myself, “just be me”. I left one foot hanging out of the van to ground anything that wasn’t mine and even said silently to myself “eliminate anything that isn’t me, push everything else out”. I repated those phrases until Nathan came out of the hardware store.

By the time he was settled I was feeling much better. I told him the nausea had backed off to a slight heavy feeling in my abdomen, and the headache was barely noticable.

At that point I was understanding what was happening and explained to him.

I spend all week working one on one, occasionally standing in a group of 8 or less for conversation. The rare occasion I go to a store, it is usually not as busy as Wonderscope was, but even when it is I’m only in the store for a short time. This was the first time I was around that many people for that length of time. I also explained that kids are there having fun, but it is loud and boisterous. Plus, there were nearly as many parents as children, and human parents are usually the ones with the most energetic baggage- the parents are the ones constantly finding things to complain about. Kids are oblivious to a point, but eventually fatigue or energetic impact begins to wear them down too, and they will fall prey to the same patterns but in kids’ form.

I simply had not shielded well enough, and I was like those kids, where the energetic impact wore me down until my body began manifesting it’s pattern equivalent.

Fortunately, I have definitely gotten better at clearing it out, because 10 minutes outside and away from the crowds was all I needed. By the time we arrived back home I had almost completely cleared the energetic clutter of others.

I know as a kid I couldn’t stand to be in large crowds, the mall during Christmas season was most dreaded. It seems I’m almost caught up with young child me. Except now as an adult I understand better what is happening and how to manage the effects. Now if I can either catch it earlier/faster or somehow shield better to avoid it all together, that would be amazing.

Plus there’s: how I could teach this to my kids quicker? They don’t need 30 years of it before they master it on their own. If I can speed that up to 1 or 2 years, that would serve them immensely well and benefit them greatly.

We’ve watched She-Ra, part of Masters of the Universe, all of Troll Hunters, and 3Below. Those shows all explore the unseen world from different perspectives and vocabulary. They have all been helpful to me in fine tuning my tools and vocabulary for how I experience and interact with my world. I’m hoping I can convey to my kids what I see, feel, and understand, and how those things help.

For instance this week I played with visualizing myself differently. I pretended to be like Aaja from 3Below, I saw myself with an extra pair of arms and when I was doing muscle manipulations with my tangible hands, I was doing Reiki and energetic work with my non-tangible visualized hands. I felt like it helped my sessions get just a bit more efficient. For the first ever utilization of such an energetic tool, I felt it was definitely worth doing more of it.

But my 3 year old doesn’t know what all that means. She could benefit from the visualization too, but she needs a 3 year old understanding of it, how to use it and why it would help. I need to put it in play terms and give her ways she could use it interacting with family. If I can figure out how to get Katherine to understand, I know Ian will too, but potentially Ian might get it first. Either way, which ever one gets it first I know they will help the other learn it too.

There’s a dozen more moments like that from the shows that I am still exploring myself and have yet to attempt to help children do so.

These are definitely interesting times, and the shift is getting more and more noticeable for me. I’m beginning to see evidence of it everywhere.

My body is shrinking and healing and it gets stronger, cleaner, healthier and clearer every day. My third eye seems to be nearly fully woke, with fewer and fewer power downs- usually precipitated by general fatigue.

I am working on controlling the energy in useful and positive ways, aiming it at healing myself, followed by all those around me, my community, my country, and my world. I am doing my level best to really be a vortex of ‘Om Shanti’. Most days I am successful all day long, and begin to loose around 5 or 6 pm. I think dinner just doesn’t come fast enough to help counter the full days of work. Energy out must be balanced by energy in. I probably need to start consuming a buffer snack late in the afternoon, because my lunch veggie snack of months just doesn’t make it far enough now. That or more consistently actually take that second smaller dose of thyroid medicine. I need to look at the last round of labs they just drew before I decide that one, if it was still off a bit then that’s the solution for sure. Course it would be better if my thyroid finished healing and I didn’t need either dose anymore.

Balance and patience. In time all will be well.

For now, I’m grateful that I am feeling better and better. I’m grateful that I am healing and I am shrinking. I’m grateful that I have a beautiful family. I’m grateful that I am both intelligent and aware enough, to understand all of this and how to apply it to my life. I am grateful that I’m intelligent enough to hold what still can’t be fully documented by human tools, as worthy of exploration and understanding. I’m grateful that I’m aware of where science has begun to document some of the unseen world, and I look forward to more understanding being gleaned. I’m grateful that I am able to sense my divine half enough to know for certain that there is an unseen magical world. I look forward to being able to control my divine energy, as well as She-Ra was able, when she defeated The Horde. I love feeling good and knowing I’m more aware than ever. I love being able to focus my awareness. I love knowing that I’m healing myself in ways medicine has yet to even discuss because the topic is still considered to far-fetched. I love knowing my efforts are concerted enough to potentially rewrite my DNA, turning off junk DNA for accepting better options. I love the feeling of healing. I love the vibrance of the energy of healing. I love knowing that when what I feel spills forth, it helps everyone around me, and that because it’s like a cup overflowing, there’s only ever flow outward when my cup is full and the flow continues. I love having my cup continually full and still allowing the flow to continue, that is a true healer. The best feeling ever: my divine self- words give pale comparisons, knowing that alone is priceless and sacred.

May you know what you feel, and may it always be exactly as your inner being is. May you have all the tools you need to navigate this world. May you understand all of the ways to experience the world and all of the tools needed to explore it safely. May you know how to adjust and correct when others impact you. May you know exactly where you went wrong and how to fix everything. May you see your inner light burn brightly for all to see as long as you shall choose. May your heart be full of healing love always. Above all may you know the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

My Sea

The shift is real whether you believe it or not.

I know that current events are a symptom of it. I’m just saying that if 2 aren’t working enough to have to resort to our best manual measures again, then why pressure for a third. Third time’s a charm doesn’t work in chemistry, it either works or it doesn’t. Repeating the same thing will not produce different results. That is the definition of insanity.

For me personally, today the shift felt real. My experience of it is tactile and perceptual.

The darkness did it’s best to drag me under, and all my 6 senses were overwhelmed. The Energetics triggered several trigger points to lock up on me. I had a long day, but it was far from being my most difficult. The Energetics started amidst my second session, and the trigger points were noticably severe by my third appointment. It triggered an emotional breakdown where I quietly cried the rest of my workday, doing my best to hide my tears behind my mask. I resorted to all the tools, including asking my twitchy weak husband to help at bedtime.

Ultimately, my biggest relief was creating my own tiny Sea of Gallalee in my tub using 4 pounds of Epsom salts. I proceeded to treat myself to an extended soak with jets running and completely submerged myself several times in cleansing self-baptism.

I have written about the many benefits of Epsom salt baths before, but the one thing I haven’t expounded upon is the ability to energetically cleanse the body and soul. Salt is the best purifier on the planet in that respect, and my salt bath this evening was wonderfully beneficial. I can feel the negatives being sucked out of me with the built up toxins, and I exited feeling a thousand pounds lighter and the bonus was that I was much less sore than before. I firmly believe that there must be some remnants of sea life genetics left in me from millennia past, simply because I benefit from nearly every way humans can consume or partake in the benefits of the sea. Iodine, seaweed, seafoods, and especially salts.

Anyway, the darkness was thick, causing hideous lies to traverse my brain, and my Epsom soak/baptism banished it enough to call in Great Spirit to begin flowing healing again.

So, I will leave you with a prayer likely older than Christ (even though I did ask his help on this evening too). It is from this great land I walk daily. It is a Lakota prayer to the Great Spirit, and it doesn’t matter if I listen, sing, say, or read it, it definitely opens me up to the goodness of the divine and enables healing energy to flow. I do not know the full translation, but the energy is what matters anyways, and the audio is my favorite rendition I’ve found of it.

Wakan tanka, hunkaschila
Wohitika oyate
Nagi tanka, tunkasila
Akicita, oyate
Wiyan wakan, hanhepi-wi
Nakacijin, oyate
Heyyy, ayy, hee, ooh!

Wakan tanka, hunkaschila
Wohitika, oyate
Niyaha, le mita cola
Kiksuyapi, oyate
Wicoti, mitawa wichasha
Wakan mitakuye, oyasin
Oyate!
He, ayy, hee, ooh!

The following is my prayer that I repeated whilst soaking in salts.

Great spirit is healing the darkness.
Great spirit is healing me.
Great spirit is healing all of us.
Darkness has no right here.
I'm sorry I accidentally invited it in, please forgive me, thank you great spirit I love you.
I'm healing, I flow healing to all those around me.
I'm healing inside and out, top to bottom, every cell, every organ, every tissue, every nerve, every molecule, every atom.
Great spirit is flowing healing everywhere it is needed and for everyone that is open to receiving it.
Healing is love, I am loved, I am a beautiful person deserving of better than this, better than the darkness.
My world and my experience are healing too.
I am loved and supported in all that I do.
Great spirit is healing me and everything that is part of me and my experience.

May you know that you are loved and supported. May you know that you have access to healing. May you know the tools necessary to overcome the darkness and aide our world during these times. May you fare well in this shift we are experiencing. Above all may you know that you are loved and supported in all that you do.

Om Shanti