Tag Archives: Abraham Hicks

Today’s Abraham email

I want to be the best that I can be. I want to do and have and live in a way that is in harmony with my idea of the greatest goodness. I want to harmonize physically here in this body with that which I believe to be the best, or the good way, of life. If you will make those statements, and then do not take action unless you feel good, you will always be moving upon the path in harmony with your idea of that which is good.

Excerpted from the book “Money and the Law of Attraction”

Our Love,
Esther
(and Abraham and Jerry)

My view of Covid

I have been told by Nathan to write about the symptom view of Covid because he swears I have given him a better understanding of how to fight it off and get better. This is that post, and it might end up being long, so I apologize for that.

Covid has all of the physiological symptoms that the news has discussed. However, there is one major symptom that no one has addressed, yet I have watched it in my clients, my friends, my family and myself. It is the main factor that makes me believe it is a chronic infection like my Epstein-Barr battle, essentially becoming a low grade background issue until it wins enough to flare again. It is also the main reason I distrust the system to produce any real results, because if this is happening to those I am connected to, and myself, it is also happening to all medical professionals that caught it early on. It makes it hard to survive let alone fix the problem in a permanent way.

What the hell am I talking about?

Covid has a mental health effect, which seems energetic until it is already winning.

That darkness that I have referenced lately is a part of the disease. It is why I have gotten so focused on prayer and all the positives I know exist. It is also why even though I need to let out the negatives to be able to move past them, I am wary of going into detail knowing my brain is playing tricks on me. I want to be wrong about anything negative, I honestly hope every negative ‘premonition’ I’ve had is false.

Keep in mind any disease wants to live as much as you do. It doesn’t really want to kill you because it knows if the host dies it also does. However, if you get too well, it will also die. It wants you somewhere in the middle: alive but miserable. That is where it flourishes.

So to that end Covid copies your inner thoughts and dialogue enough to confuse you and cause you to distrust your own thoughts and intuition. It causes fear. It leads you to do whatever contributes to enabling disease. It makes you tired and makes you want to sleep as much as possible. It makes you want to eat unhealthy foods. It makes you want to not exercise. It makes you think you are too weak to do otherwise. It makes you want to do all the wrong things and convinces you that the good and fun things are too much effort. It maximizes every weakness that you have and uses them against you. It scares you, angers you, frustrates you and leaves you feeling like anything good or enjoyable isn’t worth the effort.

My mom was raised military, and fortunately raised me to have the awareness that sometimes you just have to. Sometimes, if you know it’s the right thing to do, you just have to make yourself do it. That sentiment has literally saved me battling this disease.

I’m going to give multiple examples from my viewpoint as well as Nathan’s and a few of my clients. (Sorry for the lengthiness.) I’ll mark the beginning of each with an asterisk to denote one example from another, in case the description takes multiple paragraphs.

*I was in the middle of a massage last week, trucking along great and feeling good. Suddenly I felt weak and tired, seemingly out of nowhere. I started repeating “I’m stronger than this, I have plenty of energy” after a few minutes of that the weakness subsided and I was back to full functioning.

* I knew I needed to get back into my exercise routine and forced myself to go. All the while my brain was trying to tell me I didn’t have time, I should be at home catching up chores, or making dinner. Then once I got to the gym, it was like the weakness returned. I felt like my body weighed tons and it was so much effort to just move. Again I kept repeating “I am stronger than this, I have more energy than this, this is not mine, I have endurance and I am healthy.” Eventually I felt the effects of the exercise kick in and the negatives stopped, my strength and endurance returned almost immediately at that point.

*When I had the negatives come up about someone I care for and suspecting suicide, I acknowledged it could be the same thing. That maybe it was creating a scenario to confuse me and cause fear. It was just close enough to my inner dialogue, and of dialogue when I do get genuine psychic messages, that I wasn’t sure. I literally began sending prayers of healing and it began to loose impact. Then I started repeating “Bring the light to the source of the darkness. Heal the darkness.” While visualizing a candle banishing a dark cloud like a scene from the show ‘Supernatural’. That combination enabled me to clear the other side and find my stability again.

*I had a moment where I knew I needed to do things to support the household but I just wanted to lay around. I had to convince myself to do the things that needed done and in gaps between things I chose to cuddle with my kids watching their shows, instead of sleeping the day away. I made myself find the compromise and keep moving and doing and it worked.

*I have had moments where I get super tired out of nowhere, or I’m tired when I first wake up. Those moments it simply doesn’t make sense at all and I know something is off. Every time that I recognize it, I’m able to talk myself back to feeling energized and we’ll rested.

If I don’t recognize those moments they snowball very fast and lead to crash moments where my emotions get the better of me. If I crash emotionally then almost every time I also begin to feel unwell. Fortunately once the sensations of being unwell kick in I know I missed an early battle and I fight twice as hard in every way (thoughts, foods, supplements, activities) to pull out of it.

* I have had massive cravings for things that were my last items to be eliminated due to addiction or denial. I crave chocolate and sweets and breads and all the carbs. I know that I am healthier without them, and feel much better without them. When I loose the battle and consume something like that, I notice in a big way that the negative loop gets even stronger and even harder to fight. Yet when I manage to talk myself out of them I feel great. When I go several days without them I feel so much clearer and more focused and like I am able to stay in front of the symptoms better.

*Long periods of rain have been a trigger for these thoughts and a general feeling of unwell. This year has been particularly rainy for the Kansas City area, having had well over 20 inches of rainfall. I noticed every time it rained for more than 3 days I would be fighting harder and longer to kick the negatives and mildly sick feelings. Initially I thought it was my mold allergy, and chalked it up as such for quite a while. Yet the last time we had such a rainy streak the mold count had dropped due to prior heat and I was still facing symptoms. I now sincerely feel like it is the negative loop of Covid preying on my dislike of prolonged rainy weather, especially since it doesn’t happen when it is short lived rain. I have no dislike for intermittent rain storms because I know they help plants grow. Short periods of rain are not a weakness for me.

* I have had many moments where in a gap of available time, I was faced with the reality that I needed to do one of several things and indecision hit me. In those moments I would acknowledge that the indecision was going to mean I didn’t accomplish any of them. Once I realized that, I would pick the easiest thing to do, and especially if it would accomplish a moment of self-care for me. Once I started the activity of choice I would begin to feel relief in more ways than just what that activity accomplished normally.

* I explained this a week or two ago, but when Nathan was sick and sleeping every day away, I hit a moment with him where I kinda verbally kicked him in the ass. I told him that if he didn’t start making himself do things and eat that he would just waste away and die. My conversation with him was the nudge he needed and he began to slowly improve. He made himself do what I said and it worked.

* Nathan has admitted that photography, his love and joy that started in highschool, has been a challenge because his brain has been trying to convince him it isn’t worth the time and effort. He can expound on that himself, but I’ve noticed it isn’t just the photography, is all the things he once enjoyed.

* Nathan has talked about his walks and how on one hand he knows it will help and that he has regained enough strength to do so, but on the other hand he feels weak and powerless. He says he has to talk himself through every step, and push himself just a bit more each time. Yet they are beginning to enable him to get back to normal and they are even helping his blood pressure normalize.

*My one client that has really bad long-haulers because he had Covid before and after being vaccinated, has told me similar things about wanting to sleep all the time and having to talk himself into getting up and doing things. He has also commented that everything seems futile and like he doesn’t know why he is here still. He had a minor work injury recently and commented that his brain tried to turn it into something much worse, he literally had to convince himself to take care of the bruises and get care for himself. It was a challenge to just function and process the incident. He has also commented on a lack of desire to even go to work, but knows he has to, so he talks himself into that daily as well.

*Another client that has had Covid is nearing retirement and she has to convince herself daily to keep doing her job and stay on the plan she laid out for herself several years ago. She fights a desire to just sell her house early and run away to some distant place to retire and lay around doing nothing. She says that isn’t her, even once she retires she had a huge plan to travel and see places she’s never been. She still wants that, but every day seems to be more and more challenging to stay on track. She’s constant having to work at making it okay.

So because of all of those examples, which really is the top of a huge iceberg of things I’ve noted and discussed with people, I have come to my understanding which makes the law of attraction push and Abraham’s constant nudging make sense.

I generally feel like every time I have a moment of my own weakness or my own dislike of something, Covid uses it as launching ground to regain a foothold on my mental health. If I don’t compensate quick enough and do something right and good and/or enjoyable then Covid tries to regain strength and reflare. That being said I have only had one instance of true full reflare with the Delta variant that didn’t show on testing, and it only managed to give me that 2 week sinus infection. I feel like I have mostly managed to keep it at bay and keep control of it, but my goal is to eliminate it all together. I am perfectly okay with pulling up high enough that it dies. To that end I simply know I must think my way out of every weakness I carry. I must logic myself out of fear, anger, frustration and every other negative that impacts me as frequently as possible. I must connect to my inner being and feel the difference between my inner knowing and that darkness of untruth as much as possible. That is how I stay ahead of it and it is how I feel better and find healing. It was the path before COVID-19, but now it is imperative to stick to it every moment of every day, because it is the battle ground where Covid easily overtakes your mind and creates more dis-ease and disease.

Abraham and others have been harping on that concept for years now, and it all makes sense now. The other side saw this coming and tried to warn us and give us the tools. If you know the tools then you better be using them, it’s your chance at survival and your chance to thrive. If you don’t know the tools, then you better learn them quick. Anyone that doesn’t keep up will eventually perish, this is a wicked disease that will eat you from the inside out because of your weaknesses and negative patterns. You must heal yourself, medicine cannot do it for you when this mental space is the driving force.

May you know your weaknesses and overcome them. May you understand the patterns of disease. May you see exactly how to heal yourself for certain. May you have evidence that you are on the right track and winning the war. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Redefining

My divine masculine is on my mind. I know that the divine has the ability to manifest in infinite ways and multiple people, especially for my desires with both family and career.

I know that my divine masculine loves me and wants to honor me in all the ways I desire. I know that I have already done more than enough to prove myself to myself, and that I am enough.

So I’m taking this knowing to focus on my  preferences and alignment to allow my DM to manifest in my life. Most of these pertain more to family relations, but some aspects could also apply to career/work relations.

My DM loves me and cares about me, and they are willing to state that to me. Not just willing, they care so much about me that they are drawn to tell me directly. Their caring is more important to them, than any perceived risk in telling the truth. So my DM will tell me in very certain and clear terms. If someone doesn’t care enough to do that, then they are not my DM manifesting.

My DM cares more about me than any external input. My DM trusts that God wouldn’t stir such strong desire and caring if it didn’t matter. They may be working on fine tuning their connection just like me, but they feel their connection enough to trust our interactions and the posotive emotions behind them. It is the security in that knowing that helps them to find their voice when telling me about their desires and concerns. If someone isn’t trusting their connection as such, then they couldn’t possibly even be allowing enough of God to be manifestation of my DM.

My DM has mastered their fears enough that any needs for protection or secrecy are no longer a factor. This means they don’t feel the need for weapons for protection, that they don’t need to hide a relationship because they are secure in their own being. They know they can handle scrutiny and petty attacks, but they are also aware that this world brings what you focus on. So if they focus on a world that is more open and accepting and reaching for better equality, then that is the world they will see. It means that if they focus on loving support and kindness of strangers, that is what they will experience. There is no need to be afraid of attacks via words or with weapons if one is focused on a safe, open, accepting world.

My DM sees all of me, including my needs and desires, my hopes and dreams, and they accept of all me. Not just accept, they share most of the same dreams and desires. They have so much in common that they accept the rest unequivocally. The accept me as a whole, and love me for being me. Anyone that doesn’t is not my divine masculine manifesting wholley.

My DM knows that I am my own person and that I will not be owned. My DM respects my rights and my own sovereignty and I respect the same in them. They trust that our connection is more important than any laws or paperwork that were originally intended to protect such connections, but have since become misconstrued and misused. My DM is willing to explore alternative options to meet my/our special needs, and if someone isn’t willing to explore alternatives then they are not my DM.

My DM knows that even though I have the body of a woman, that I am more complicated than that. My DM accepts me as being both masculine and feminine, and accepts that I love Nathan very much. My DM understands that in regards to Nathan, I am the masculine role and I love Nathan intensely and fully intend to keep my relationship with him strong, but also need to honor my feminine half and allow myself to be in the feminine role more frequently. Because of this my DM understands, accepts, and shares my desires for a poly family; so if someone doesn’t understand, accept, or share that then they are likely not my DM manifesting.

My Divine Masculine feels me and senses me, and knows me on a deeper level that might be hard for another person to understand. They know they don’t need to try to explain it to others, but they also know it is safe to talk to me about it- that sharing the experience of our connection only strengthens our connection further. We are equals and equally trust each other and openly share willingly. If someone is unable to do that, then they must not be my DM manifesting.

My DM wants to figure out how to move forward and create a future with me. They care enough to make that happen, even or especially if there are perceived risks to do so. I look forward to having those conversations and figuring things out with them. I have gotten much more sure of my connection and what I feel. I know I am on the right track.


An Abraham audio I listened to on the way to work this morning provided this clarity and I am glad I finally had the moment to put words to it. In the audio Abraham listed off several statements followed by “because I want to”. There were a few statements that some people would cringe over. But Abraham pointed out that the cringe-worthy statements would feel better than lower vibrating statements, but were not fully connected either. The point being made was that moving upward is always good, but ultimately the real goal is to reach the extremely good feeling of being fully connected to ones own divine force. That if you are all the way connected then it only feels really good. The moment you are aware you don’t feel really good, you are no longer fully connected, and you need to do whatever necessary to climb back up to full connection.

My most difficult aspect of thinking about my divine masculine God force is that I know God is a plurality, but I am hoping for just a couple/few to manifest in ‘reality’ for the long-haul. When I acknowledge the way the divine plurality feels about me, I always find the good feeling easily and know everything is just as I have described here. Then I think about people in my life that had moments of connection to my divine masculine, some fleeting, some more sustained, it gets me a bit confused. The fleeting moments I kind of understand as they were situational, and I evoked it from them as I managed to allow better for a moment. I still don’t understand why or how my father sustained it when I was tiny and never ever sustained it again. I know I was somehow partly to blame for that, but at this point feel like it is futility to even try to fix it, since he can’t see me for who I am and what I care about, and is so unwilling to change.

And those 3 others that sustained it longer, but have yet to come around. That’s where I am most confused. I thought for certain I’d found partners, but at this point the whole package (described above) has not manifested. I gave up on them figuring out that either they couldn’t fully manifest what I desire, or my thoughts about them was hanging things up. Either way, the stall out has left me deciding that giving up seems to be the best answer for now. Hence why I’m writing to focus on the generic side of things. Focusing on the things I know are aligned, and not on the people that ghosted and pushed me away, seems to be the easier route for me for right now. Only God knows if my new focus will bring them back or align me with more appropriate manifestations. I am truly and honestly open to either, as long as it is forward motion and in alignment with my higher self.

I love Nathan and my children, and they will be in my life for the long-haul. I also still, desire more in addition to my current already manifested reality, and that ensures I will keep living to keep reaching for more/better.

May you see the alignment of your desires. May you understand your thoughts in regards to manifestations. May you sense God’s love and acceptance of you. May you know you are good enough and deserve everything you desire. May you know your desires stir life force that helps you keep moving forward. May you always have worthy goals to reach for. May you live long and prosper and feel God’s love and support.

Siva Hir Su