Tag Archives: acknowledgement

Good

Watch “Jason Mraz – Look For The Good (Official Video)” on YouTube

I stumbled on the Jason Mraz video. I’ve always liked him and his very uplifting music. This song did not disappoint. It is a much needed good message for this time. It made me want to update on my goodness.

First my 2 year old now is able to climb out of her crib and up into her brother’s loft bed. It’s a matter of time until baby gates are obsolete. Good, yet a little frightening for parental units.

My husband has been chipping at cleaning gutters, and still mostly keeping up with kids and regular household stuff. Plus he is still being very helpful with my food needs. It has helped me in so many ways, I’m very grateful.

After a day of work wearing a corset for support, my illio-psoas is a little less angry. I still need to be very conscious of movements and focusing on tucking my tailbone and tightening my abs helps to avoid significant pain cringes. I plan on an Epsom salt soak after my late dinner. That is goodness, in soaking, and in muscle improvement.

As for me, I finally finished a first draft of my CV that I am willing to share with others. I’m going to have coworkers proof it and give me their opinion before I consider it complete. If reviews come back mixed I will revamp and try again. It’s a good step completed, and good that I have people around me willing to give feedback.

May you have lots of progress and good things. May you see good in those around you. May you have a good life and living experience.

Siva Hir Su

Slowing down.

I fell again yesterday….. Again! …. Right?!

The chiropractor was kind enough to adjust me again today, and provided a reminder I need to slow down and be conscious of caring for myself. I replied “I know, I promised I would slow down, but it’s so hard when I’ve spent so many years trying to do everything.”

It is though, falls are always God’s attempt at slowing me down. Sadly, or is it thankfully, they always work. So tonight I’m nursing angry muscles, partly from the fall and partly from the corrective adjustment. As I lay with a tennis ball wedged against my left psoas muscle, I’m catching up on watching notification videos, and the following was a powerful one.

Watch “Jacob Lee – Oceans (Official Music Video)” on YouTube

I really feel that one. Sometimes I do feel exactly how the singer did, especially in these crazy times where fear over a singular disease has caused all of society to cease real living. But it seems I’m getting better and better at finding my source, my inner always present divine half. The half that never leaves me, but sometimes it’s awfully hard to see or feel.

I went nearly 2 decades fighting off suicidal depression, and in the last five years I’ve found alignment more than not. I still have boughts of severe depression, but they’re shorter and shorter now, knowing all of my triggers and how to fix being in the hole. That information is priceless and I still look forward to the day I find total healing and those days disappear altogether.

I know I’m on the right track, and right now I’m literally throwing every tool I know at finding healing. It’s part of the reason God wants me to slow down, I am doing so much I probably need to give myself a breather and let my system catch up.

It made me a little mad though because I’ve now missed two days of workouts, the fall happening 90 min before my projected workout, and the aftermath making exercise a physical impossibility.

At one time I hated exercise because it was so difficult for me, now I miss it. At one time I hated running because it was so hard, no I look forward to making friends with it knowing it’s starting to help. At one point I hated cilantro, now I love it for it’s detoxifying effects having started the healing in my brain. There are so many things that I have a much much greater appreciation for, all because they help me feel better and they are slowly healing my brain and my body.

I wish that for everyone.

Beyond my gratitude over those solutions, I have immense gratitude for all of the people, current and past, that have helped me find solutions or fix me when my efforts are not enough or applicable (especially the chiropractor today). Those people that rescued me when I needed it most. Many were one time helpers, few have helped me repeatedly, but all were pricelessly valuable.

May you all see your worth. May you love your gifts from God. May you understand your challenges and love the solutions. May you live life to the fullest, and know that food is a tiny fraction of what that means. May you give back to the divine by helping others find the solutions they need. May you show gratitude for the people in your life that help you implement those solutions. May you love exercise and all of the things that enable you to live a greater life. May your greater living not only be more enjoyable, but of greater assistance to the world. May we all work together to create a better world for us all.

Siva Hir Su శివ హిర్ సు

There I go scaring people again.

So I just finished my workout for today. It was rather amusing. I walked to the park near work (Broadmoor Park) for my warmup. Once at the park I commenced my run/walk combo around the third of a mile loop. The first couple of laps I eased in gradually running short stints and walking in between. By my 3rd lap I was pushing myself to make it half way around the loop before returning to my speed walk pace.

Needless to say the cussing started, spliced in between “you can do it Treasa” and “so close, just a little further”. I had noticed a couple of ladies in the pavilion chatting. After my second lap of cussing and self pep-talk they disappeared, I guess I scared them off. I grumbled at first awareness of that, and then reminded myself that I’m on my own: no one is here to help, soothe, or encourage me on my workouts. That was more than enough justification to return to my cursing and pep-talk.

Anyway, I was happy with my results, one lap my legs actually relaxed into the running motion and I almost made it 2/3’s of the way around the loop. I was super excited for that moment, it means I’m inching towards making friends with running.

I also discovered that my tracker is now keeping a graph of my speed, that’s really nice since I’m not on a treadmill still not being able to enter any of the area gyms. Regardless, I still want to get back on treadmills, because my body is not enjoying the percussion and alignment issues caused by hard concrete and uneven terrain. My right leg wants to keep locking up and left leg has jammed into the pelvic socket a couple of times.

Anyway, here are the stats of my run. It was 9,000 of my nearly 10,000 steps for the day so far. The 15mph at the end was a fluke (maybe cell com related), because I finished the last half lap and return to work at fairly moderate walking pace for my cool down.

On another note the diet, though boring and bland is going well. I’ve been spacing my snack-meals perfectly because it has literally triggered the nauseous “you must eat now” response just like in pregnancy. That is a wonderful sign. I’m also staying on top of my selenium, seaweed, and iodine intake to combat the thyroid nodules. I’ve even restarted hormone supplements to help with that as well. Beyond that, I have finally begun to loose weight again. I’m down to 211 from 220.

Another 21 pounds and I’ll be back to my post birth weight from first pregnancy. That makes me happy. Considering I spent 20 of my 37 years at nearly 300 pounds it makes me really happy to be much smaller. Knowing no doctor would ever make a real effort to help me get there, and I’m doing it on my own even with huge health barriers is even more spectacular. KMA western medicine. You’ll figure this shit out eventually, and I’m really glad I haven’t fallen for your “here just take these pills for the rest of your life” routine.

May you have great workouts. May you have all the right words to keep pushing yourself to better, even if they are swear words. May you have evidence of your improvement as further encouragement. May you know you can do it. May you feel better and know you are healthy enough to keep going, keep trying, and keep improving. May you know you can find improved health and heal your body. May you feel better about yourself. May you believe in yourself and love yourself.

Siva Hir Su