So today, I realized I am so over the virus crap that my face rejected the N95 mask. I had been wearing the construction grade for about a week and a half now. Yesterday after spending all day wearing the mask, I went home to severely itchy eyes. Today after only about an hour in the mask the itchy eyes came back and spread. By lunchtime my face was covered in red itchy blotches that were bordering on burning.
I decided to switch to the less viraly secure, but far less reaction inducing, reusable fabric mask to get through the remainder of the day. Being I’m not worried about catching something I’ve already had, the mask was more for others and rules than anything. I’m home now and have dosed myself with a 3rd allergy medicine and hydrocortisone cream to stop the itchy hives.
Otherwise, I did have two full days of work at the clinic which was a good manifestation.
Now I’m off to celebrate Katie’s birthday with allergen free goodies. That is a good evening to be had.
Finally, I’ll end with a dream quandary. Last night I had 2/3’s shot of whisky in a mixed drink. It was enough to screw with my dream world and led to some intensely dark creepy dreams. The one that stuck out was about a person I think is connected to my mystery SJ of 5 years. I’ll call this other person AJ (the J not actually being a common name, two totally different J names). In the dream I was being told that AJ had killed his wife and that’s why no one had heard from him. The person that knew about this had been sent to give me the message, because he was trying to get to me but didn’t know how or when. I was told it really was accidental, and he never meant for her to even get hurt, but because of the situation he was now in great danger himself. I was worried and wanted to know more, but the person telling me said that was all they knew. He said he wasn’t told everything to keep us both safe. That creeped me out and I woke up.
My other dreams were just as dark and creepy; one being a person that had been run over by a train and my mom finding them and telling me to call 911 as the person tried to say something to me/us.
My take away is that I am being drug into super-human clean eating and drinking. Nothing is worth those kinds of dreams invading my sleep. Otherwise, I’m grateful that they are not actually part of my reality and can be headed off at the pass.
May you have good work days, less allergies, and an easier signal to eat and drink cleanly. May your dreams always be pleasant and reachable.
Graphic designs done. Taxes done (at least as much as possible.). Dome design done. My massage received. Rest- check. Cuddles with kids- yes.
Didn’t get to prepping gardens, it was too cold and wet. Didn’t get any artwork done. Not much “fun” to be had either, cuddles with kids was enjoyable, but not what I would classify as good fun. Okay, could be worse, that’s not a complaint, more an observation.
My son misbehaved a lot, no big surprise there, but it’s getting really old. Today I had a long discussion about how he was acting vendictive like the one person we were around alot about 2 years ago. I explained that his actions speak to intentionally wanting to hurt me and daddy. Nathan and I have decided that cutting cords and burning sage frequently isn’t enough, it’s time for counseling…. That or a voodoo doll for the original offender. The former is more expensive, the later might carry bad karma, but both would solve the problem. Hmmm. Decisions. Probably the counseling, but I’m not afraid to do the voodoo if necessary. HA!
Anyways, I really had set out to update on my thyroid labs.
First a really quick review of my thyroid history… 2 years ago after Katherine’s birth (June 2018), I had pulled out of my second crash and my labs were as follows.
Not great, but they could have been worse. These were the labs that finally acknowledged the immune attack on my thyroid. I was on medication at that point, so my numbers were mostly okay other than the immune response denoted by the antibodies.
The next previous labs were 2 years further, after the meds had pulled me out of the horrible post Ian-birth crash. Those labs were pretty basic (next picture), but did show I had started to run consistently high, so that was when I began tapering back on meds a little over a year from when I began taking the meds.
So 2 births and resulting thyroid crashes have taught me how to read labs, what to look for and what symptoms link to what on the lab results. There were a couple of other lab profiles done, but they were so basic it seemed pointless to show them here. The original one from after Ian was born which showed a TSH of 80, that one I never even got a copy of- bad doctor.
Anyways, all the labs I’ve ever had were cash pay. Even the short time when I was covered by insurance, labs were not drawn because I had rediculous high deductibles. So I did the best with the resources available.
I’m still doing that.
I managed to get over the hump of renting for $800/mo to owning for $900/mo. But insurance is still nonexistent and doctors waste both my time and my money.
So, I ordered my labs myself again. This time I ordered a slightly more comprehensive package developed by the Stop The Thyroid Madness doctors. Results came back last night.
Now as a reminder: I knew I had had a thyroid storm about a week prior – based on symptoms and awareness of allergy reactions, but I have not been taking any meds for over a year. These were my results.
Mostly everything was okay. My cholesterol numbers were good; though I could bring the good cholesterol up a bit to even out with the bad (which is still well under their desired preference). Iron and liver related tests were good. My sugars were high, but again I’ve known I’m reacting to things which is causing those spikes, plus considering that I know a bad reaction will spike me well into the 300’s I’ll take the 157 I had. This morning my fasting glucose was 92, perfectly normal. I was high side of normal on table salt (sodium and chloride levels), but being that I have vegetable soup fairly frequently, I’ll take that number as a ‘could be much worse’ too. Especially since I’ve managed to get my body alkaline (pH of 8 on UA), that’s a hard feat to accomplish without any salt at all.
That brings me to thyroid numbers.
RT3 was at 12. Ideal is 8 to 10. So close, and running a bit high is a conversion problem due to Hashimotos’, I’m still well within what doctors consider normal, just not ideal.
Free T4 at 1.1, and ideal is 1.3. Also very close to ideal and well within normal.
FreeT3 at 2.8, and ideal is 3.5-4.2. I’m a little low there, but still in normal range. Also, that is very common with Hashimotos’ immune problems. So common that most Hashi people only take T3.
Unfortunately, that’s where the normals end.
TSH. That’s the number that denotes how hard your pituitary gland is trying to convince your thyroid to work- thyroid stimulating hormone. It was 80 after Ian, and 20 something after Katherine. Both times I struggled with depression severely. Currently I’m at 11.47 after the thyroid storm that did have anxiety, depression, and heart palpitations. Definitely not great. Well outside normal. My pituitary gland knows my thyroid wasn’t keeping up very well and trying like crazy to convince it to work harder.
TgAb or thyroglobulin antibodies. It doubled since the previous test, and that one wasn’t good. 2 to 4 sucks.
TPO or thyroid peroxidase antibodies. That also nearly doubled from 342 to 546. It is supposed to be under 9.
Those last two are antibodies that attack the thyroid when they detect certain triggers (allergens of similar molecular structure). They are way too plentiful, even with my known reaction and thyroid storm. I expected numbers like after Katherine knowing that prior to December I’d been doing great, not something twice as high.
It means I’m definitely missing things. I’m likely consuming allergens I have yet to label. I don’t want to think about any other possibility, because I know a doctor would likely start to check for cancer.
So, next step is to come up with the extra $400 to pay for the blood serum allergy testing. I have managed to figure out most of my allergies without it, but at this point I admit I’m at a stalemate without the bloodwork. I just can’t fathom what else I might be reacting to.
After that and another round of diet adjustments, I’ll need to give my body 30 to 60 days of perfection to see if the antibodies drop. That’s another round of labs to pay for to be able to see the result, but can stick to the basic thyroid panel and antibodies, that’s more like $100+.
If they do plummet then I’m golden. If they don’t then I may have much larger problems to consider. I certainly hope for the former.
Now I just have to figure out how to juggle the extra labs while already juggling reduced income from Covid19 nonsense. This is about to get really interesting.
May you have full health. May your labs always come back ideal. May you never have to know what thyroid problems are like. May you always have the resources you need in quick response timeframes. May you know you’re on there right track, and find your missing pieces easily. May you feel good mostly and have minimal easily solveable problems. May you have many blessings in all areas of your life.
I’m having a rough week. Multiple Allergic reactions causing me to have to fight my brain again. Feeling like this journey is far too familiar at this point and wondering why I’ve not managed to heal my body enough to let it subside.
It’s the holidays, I’d like to be able to celebrate without this horrible aftermath. Perhaps it’s my fate, perhaps I’m just not there yet. Regardless, I’m refusing to have that 3rd child God has nagged me about until I find enough healing to be more capable of having a birth like I did with Ian.
I don’t have answers, as I have educatedly guessed my way this far. Doctor’s don’t even want to try. Especially when there’s no juicy insurance policy to take advantage of and it’s a difficult puzzle anyways. So much for all knowing, all healing, godlets. More like greedy lazy bastards.
So, I am going to focus intently for a bit here. The goal to reach for the believable flip side of my allergy reaction induced negativity.
My efforts do matter, if to no one else, to me and my cells.
I much prefer feeling good and being able to be positive more easily.
I’m doing far better than I was a few years ago.
My changes may not be visible to others, but I know some signs are: less acne, less rosacea, less pain, less bloating, less gas, less fat, more muscle, less depression, generally feeling well being more often.
I am strong. I can leg press my husband, and probably drop kick others. (Ahhh… Garfield & Odie… my old pals…. I AM Garfield- except he at least got to enjoy lasagna.)
I am intelligent, I have solved far more of my puzzle than anyone else. I’ve met literally dozens of people including many doctors that only found a singular tiny element, which alone accomplished nothing. Only when I started putting many elements together did it make any difference. And… None of them helped with the assembly, I did it myself. My Nathan helped maintain once things were figured out, and for that I’m grateful.
I still have 2 strong hands, 2 strong capable legs, and my intelligent brain, all to keep trying.
I know how to let healing energy flow and I intend that every night just before bedtime, healing energy will fill my body, it will heal my pancreas, heal my liver, melt fat, calm inflammation, and soothe my immune system back into only fighting germs.
God’s energy can and will tell my cells that foods won’t kill me, that my immune system can leave them be and my liver can clean out the excess.
I exercise so much these days, and that has to count for something. I may not be able to see it myself, but I know exercise is generally very good and helpful, so somehow it is helping me.
I care because of me. I’ve come this far, I could give up, but don’t want to. I can’t see the boat, but I know it has to exist, I just have to tread water long enough for it to get in my sights.
Every time I maintain my level of completely clean eating, I feel better, that’s how I know it’s working and helping. At some point the scales will tip, and minor infractions will be too insignificant to cause such difficult aftermath.
I have done so much already, I can keep doing this. Considering my odds, I have exceptional willpower.
I am an exceptional person.
I am a caring person, and that’s how I’m able to see the affects allergies have on me. They cause me to behave differently than my true self. I want to heal enough to always be my better self.
Is it possible to redefine holidays to take food out of the equation? Can I find the joy without a stitch of food in my experience? If I don’t go to anyone else’s celebrations maybe. Yet another opportunity to do it on my own. C’est la vie.
I’ll leave you with a view of the same salad I’ve eaten probably 6 times in 2 weeks. When I eat clean, options are very limited. It gets boring, but every time I try to enjoy food it ultimately pays me back later.
May your body and your life allow you to enjoy food. May you always find a way to be your better self. May you have a calm immune system that only fights disease. And finally, may you have joyous holiday celebrations with friends and family and feel your belonging in this world.