Tag Archives: allergies

New Perspective

My quote from Abraham this morning comes on the heels of a discussion with Nathan about how I’m changing my perspective on food.

“When you are in vibrational harmony, your body produces whatever it needs to remain in perfect balance.”

-Excerpted from Boston, MA on 10/20/96
Our Love,

Esther
(and Abraham and Jerry)

So the discussion was last night, and essentially I explained that I had been noticing a trend where people in general, but especially younger people- babies and children, are experiencing the same patterns I have with food.

I have also noted many people talking about a shift happening in humanity. Often from different perspectives and on different topics (politics, socio-economic, healing, diet, etc ).

Putting two and two together, my theory and change in perspective has broken down to the following.

Making the assumption that the shift is real, and pervades all areas of our lives, one would have to acknowledge that mankind is changing. Abraham states that forward momentum is to higher vibrations. So human kind as a whole is shifting to a higher vibration.

Food Allergies then could be interpreted as the resistance against mooving towards that higher vibration with diet and healing. It is the result of being more sensitive to the energy and vibration that food carries. If your body has already acknowledged that it wants to keep up with the shift, and knows what level of vibration that equals, then it is going to really push back every time you give it anything less than what is desired. Thus, you become “allergic” to lower vibrating foods.

Now what:

So then one (especially Myself) must admit the dissonance and focus on the solution. In my case with food, that has become repeatedly acknowledging that I am now hyper sensitive to foods and my body only wants the highest vibrating foods in just enough quantities to sustain myself.

Once I allowed myself to keep up with me, and focus on that repetition, it’s as if the battle is not as hard. My body is beginning to shed toxins and inflammation is backing off, I’m feeling much better physically. It has also made sticking to my regimen easier to stomach, so to speak (double entendre intentional).

I am back to my nibble of super healthy food every couple of hours. Nuts, apples, pears, lean plain meats- mostly fish or chicken, and far more salads in my experience with the deep dark greens.

I’m also referencing being very sensitive to foods now, instead of talking about my allergies or being allergic. I just say I’m very sensitive to foods and so I’m extra careful most of the time in choosing what I eat.

The Fall:

Now, that has not eliminated the social environments where food is provided and heavily encouraged by others. Anya’s birthday last week was a good example. However, my new perspective has still helped. Essentially, I apologized to my body in advance and explained to myself that one meal was not going to kill me, that I did enjoy the tastes of the food, and social atmosphere and supporting Anya. I also spoke to my body, stating that I know I’m capable of eliminating the toxins. I talked myself though reducing the reaction and speeding up the corrective process.

Additionally, I reinforced for myself that I know if I were more in control of the moment I would have chosen an alternate option for the meal, but I was conceding to another’s choice and control because I wanted her to enjoy her birthday- it was her day of honor however she would choose. That was solely due to how much I care for her, and is something I’ve gotten more selective over as well. Not just anyone gets to persuade me to make low vibration food choices anymore.

I also took extra allergy medicine preemptively to help with reducing my experience of the reaction. It all helped, it did not eliminate the reaction, but did significantly improve it in terms of duration and severity.

After the fact, I told myself it’s not a lifestyle that I want to live, so better choices are definitely better. However, it was manageable and I do have the tools and information to make the climb back up the health ladder to vibrate higher again more quickly.

I definitely did not enjoy the aftermath, I did however enjoy the meal itself (sans my son’s antics) and also enjoyed knowing that I accomplished the correction quickly and easily. 1 step backwards, but 2 steps forward this time. That I like as well.

So, my new perspective brought some peace of mind and acknowledgement that I myself am improving and heading toward higher vibrations. I’m allowing me keep up with ME more. That feels really good.

On a side-note update:

My dreams of giving birth and dieing have subsided. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20, and I realized it was solely because of the activities job. The last 2 days there I kept telling myself, not my baby anymore, because the trainee had done things in an odd way. I realized that I had given so much of myself to that position that I literally felt like I was losing myself and my baby.

Having cleared the other side, I’m still intact. I’m still me, and I still have my dream of Atira. One day I will discover my solution to build Atira and keep myself healthy and keep my family cared for. For now, I am still helping that surrogate baby by filling in on paperwork and calendar tasks. I still walk away with a much fuller knowledge of the workings of a community that size. I still have improved myself and gained knowledge. Now I can relax a bit and recuperate and heal the damage from the stress and my diet during that period.

I am supported by the universe and I am safe. And twice this week I’ve been told by different sources that Archangel Michael is watching over me to ensure that stays true. I take that validation with a huge Thank You to the Divine. I’m very appreciative that things are still improving and that I have evidence of support from the universe.

3rd Trimester is Kicking My Ass

Well that and life in general. It seems everything has been piling up and I’m beginning to wonder when that improvement I’ve been working so hard to find will actually start manifesting physically. It’s mainly why I’ve not written for over a month, I knew I didn’t have much of anything nice to say and I also was having trouble finding words that would be helpful to anyone.

I’m going to glaze over the life part to get to the something that might be helpful to others.

My birthday party that Nathan and Hannah threw me was great. I got to see and talk to and hang out with people I haven’t seen in ages, and the restaurant they chose made allergy free food for me. It was great. The following day however, I fell off the bottom of the emotional scale. That’s happened a couple of other times of late. I’ve worked too much, slept too little, exercised too little, then when I tried to compensate for the missed exercise, it made matters worse. I missed the sun (and other people), I’ve been stressed to the max, and that’s just the normal stuff. I still haven’t even touched my taxes, and now have an impending deadline. Then Pregnancy threw in an extra curve ball that compounded everything.

Third trimester hit the end of January and problems started with massive hives twice in a row. I immediately thought of my allergies (I originally wrote about here and go into detail here) and acknowledged that I must be hyper hyper sensitive due to 3rd trimester hormones, especially since both bouts were triggered by Thai food. I thought, clean up my diet and all would be well. So much for that….

My midwife has asked me several times if I was ever diagnose with PCOS and I explained that when it was brought up as a possibility it was before HCA/ACA and I was uninsured, so the necessary blood-work and ultrasound were forgone with a “that’s probably your problem” from the doctor. Additionally, later I found the improperly diagnosed thyroid issues, I talked about here (and to a certain extent here).

So, the latest puzzle hitting at the third trimester with the questioning on PCOS from my Midwife got me thinking hard and working effortlessly over the last 2 weeks to find a solution. Yet, sometimes you have to figure it out on your own.

I went back to my most preferred thyroid resource and went digging through the piles of information there. This Page led me realize that I had swung really high on thyroid response and was having many of the symptoms of Hyperthyroid, though not consistently, and fortunately my blood pressure was least affected. I began to wonder how much of my hives was allergies and how much was hyperthyroid. I immediately backed off of anything that was originally intended to help counteract (low) hypothyroid issues. It didn’t immediately fix the anomalous blood sugar spike I was having in the morning in correlation with the racing heart-rate. It also didn’t solve the hives immediately. I continued to itch.

I then questioned some of my choices intended to help with milk supply since that was a trouble area for me with Ian.
My midwife had encouraged me to use progesterone cream because not only was I low on Progesterone in first trimester, but it would help build healthy breast tissue. However, I remembered (and double checked) that progesterone can be used to raise low thyroid function because at one point I used it for that very reason. So I nixed the cream knowing that it would take a week or more to level out and quit altering thyroid function. I also questioned whether or not the 2 supplements I had added right at 3rd trimester were contributing. Mainly because I had added Holy Basil right before the first outbreak of hives, and Goats Rue right before the second outbreak. Both are intended to increase milk production, but it was plausible that the hormone shift induced by the supplements could have contributed to the hyperthyroid swing. So, I decided to nix those as well in hopes that if they played a role, my woes would quickly resolve.

It did begin to help after a couple of days, or so it seemed until I had a couple of more blood sugar spikes. In closely examining my food choices I discovered that I had literally had minuscule amounts of dairy and soy in correlation with the spikes. So, regardless of the severity of the thyroid concerns, I was indeed intensely hyper reactive to my allergies. FRUSTRATING. A double whammy.

So I started looking and found a couple of pages about the play between PCOS, thyroid, and 3rd trimester hormones. Here is one of them.  My frustration then became, OK- I’m not alone with this problem, but this site didn’t give a solution. I know that a regular doctor is going to do 2 things: offer medications, and insist that I not do home birth. However, I have gotten so far without significant issues that I simply couldn’t give up this late in the game. So my quest continued. I looked up things to do for insulin resistance and found this page, which was all things that I had done in the past, and some of them I had been slacking on. Yet another thing to work on.

So for the last week, I’ve done mostly fine, one oops.  However, it has been very, very difficult.

What it looks like:

52 hours of work & some of  every stress reducing technique I know.

SMALL Meals or snacks every 60 to 90 min.

Testing my sugars 8 to 9 times a day to make sure I don’t go too high or too low.

Drinking almost 2 gallons of liquids a day between: water, coconut water, cider-vinegar water, and green tea. Throw in the occasional plain unsweetened almond milk to help not completely hate life.

Daily Supplements Drastically changed: Taking 18 to 20 cinnamon (3-4 of which is right as I wake up), 7 bitter melon (1 at wake up), and 6 to 8 Glucose Optimizer, all for blood sugar control. The upside, the rest of my supplements dropped way off (with the removals for thyroid concerns), down to just my usual amounts of magnesium, fish oil, turmeric, and half of the RDA gummy vits.

MY food menu also drastically changed. So much so, that I cry over it frequently. My safe list is so tiny I’m miserable.:

PLAIN meats, PLAIN nuts, PLAIN veggies, Blueberries (small quantities), Simple salads with literally 2 dressing options (they were the only ones I could find that didn’t have any traces of an allergen), and Real dark chocolate that is low sugar and 100% dairy and soy free (that’s like 3 choices BTW). Garlic, onion, parsley, cilantro, turmeric, and peppercorns seem to be my only safe seasonings. Even a store bought broth based vegetable soup had something in it that I reacted to, and I would have thought it safe based on the looks and conversation with the deli clerk (my guess was maybe traces of either MSG or peppers).

I’m sick of looking at plain everything and it takes me forever to eat a handful of nuts because of my over-exposure. Yet, I’m so close, I must keep trucking.

My biggest hesitation is I told Nathan that after I give birth I’m likely to quit eating. I’m so over food, but according to the one site about PCOS and late pregnancy hormones- it was  implied that if I go off of the diet too soon, I’m likely to end up even worse off. I simply can’t handle that. So, if I get too sick of this protocol by birth, I’m likely to just quit eating and go on an indefinite liquid fast. I really keep hoping that my miracle healing takes place. Beyond that I told Nathan that IF I have any other children, it will be a long, long while away. I need to invest serious time and resources to healing my body before I put myself through this again.

Hopefully I can heal my body enough to reset to at least what I had with Ian, before having another child.

I really wouldn’t even contemplate another child if it weren’t for those damn visions I had with the boy. If he was merely a representative place holder in my visions for someone else, then it explains the inaccuracies, but it means that one more baby is likely in my lifetime. If the visions really were accurate and he’s coming back into my life at some point, then I’ll definitely end up pregnant one more time. Either way, that one more time will not only need to be far, far into the future, but it will also be my last. I can say with certainty that be it damage from things in my life, or genetics, my body was not intended to carry more than 3 children, regardless of how much I might want more. So if I end up with more children it will be by other means. C’est la vie.

 Birthday Fun & my aftermath…

So Anya turned 12 a couple of weeks ago,  but I schemed up a slumber party for her with her best friends much after the fact. 

There was no way she was ever going to get the sleepover she’s been begging for, at our home. So, I conceded that it would have to be somewhere else.  After conferring  with parents of her closest friends,  I determined that most of us are in the same boat, though for a wide variety of reasons.  So, if she was ever going to get that sleepover it’d have to be at a hotel. 

She’s earned it this year watching Ian (a lot) and talking care of chickens.  Nagging her aside, I decided I better make it happen to show our appreciation for her efforts. 

I decided that if I was going to spend money out of our savings on 2 hotel rooms,  it would best serve everyone if it was special.  So  I picked the hotel attached to the indoor CoCo Keys water park. It was more expensive than your usual hotel,  but considering the attraction,  not that much more expensive; & definitely not as expensive as Great Wolf Lodge.   The hardest part was biting  the bullet for 2 rooms. 

I did,  and the girls had a blast.  It was only girls because I couldn’t bring myself to allow a co-ed sleepover, even if it was begnign. 6 girls, me & one other mom.  Nathan & Ian partook in some water park & Ian harassed the girls for a bit in the evening before the two of them went home. It was a grand time with make-up, nails,  hair styling, singing,  and going gaga over famous boys. I crashed just after midnight,  but when I woke at 3am they were still going strong.  By Friday morning at checkout everyone was exhausted and ready to go home and sleep.

Since I didn’t ask permission to post pictures,  I’ve blotted out their faces. Especially considering none of them actually look 12 years old. Us parents are apalled at how mature they all look.

Ian really had fun encroaching on their fun space several times:

Anya enjoyed being made up, and it looked so good I can’t bring myself to show you.  Some things are just not safe for the internet. 

So, with all this gaiety, what’s the aftermath? The usual.

 Despite taking most of the  food  that was eaten at this event, intentionally accommodating myself,  I did still lapse some.  I also got very drunk  with the other mom as we enjoyed a little reprieve from boys. It taxed my system too much being I’d just pulled myself out of another worse food fail just 4 days prior. I had a hangover the next day (something that’s only ever happened 2 other times total),  and all weekend I’ve had to work to convince myself to do better. 

My brain wants to throw in the towel. This being healthy thing,  especially healthy enough to keep my brain buoyant,  is really hard work. It’s a lot of pieces to keep together,  and life is enjoying making that task very, very difficult.  I think at this point learning 2 foreign languages is easier than keeping my mental health intact. 

It also doesn’t help that I’ve gotten into something that caused a horrible itchy rash on my arms. It’s much like poison ivy,  and I can think of maybe 3 ways I’d have come into contact with something like that. It could also be chiggers or oak mites as I could think of ways I’d have gotten those too. 

Regardless, the itching is insanity piled on top of my food induced lack of caring. It’s been a tough day. After helping get recycling & laundry  underway,  I took a shower and proceeded to veg. Now I’m going to apply another dose of calamine lotion & go to bed.

I hope Anya really did enjoy her birthday water park slumber party, but more I hope it makes up for all the rest of the sucknitude right now. 

On Ice

I’m quite literally on ice today.  My low back & hips are screaming from lots of inflammation.

  Wednesday,  I resorted to a grilled chicken sandwich when we were in a hurry.  I was already late for work and very hungry.  Burger King was the closest option to the highway that I could stop & there would be a vegetarian option  for Nathan. I remembered to have them hold the tomato, but didn’t think about the bun. I’m certain at this point that it must have had either corn or potatoes or both in it, because I never have this bad of a reaction to just gluten. 

Though I do admit that  I have had gluten and dairy this week as well, so the inflammation is rampant in my body. 

My knees hurt, my hips and low back are on fire, and I’m holding probably a gallon of water weight.

I’ve taken extra fish oil,  extra curcumin, 800mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours,  and even with the ice pack on my low back, I’m still hurting. 

Last night I hurt so bad that I  barely  managed 20 min of lap swimming with generous hot tub before and after.

I was doing so well that all I can say is: I know that this is a direct result of my “minimal” lapses,  and it’s only encouragement to do better.

I want more hot tub, but I have to try & finish working early enough to get that.  Needless to say it’s very difficult to drag yourself through working when you’re in this much pain.  It makes for a very long and exhausting day. I look forward to ending my day at the Y in their wonderful hot tub. 

Last night and during my breaks today I tried to distract myself with my languages learning.  It’s a challenge to focus,  but it seems that has helped with things sinking in.  A nice bonus since I’m learning 3 at once. The 1st I started last year to relearn what I’d done in college, and DuoLingo informs me I have a 21% profeciency- French. 2nd I learned in highschool and just restarted a couple of months ago,  it’s going a bit bumpier @ 3%- Spanish. The 3rd I just started- really to attempt to impress myself & my friend – Telugu (DuoLingo does not offer this one,  so I’m using a cluster of other apps to teach myself with aids from YouTube). 

It’s a challenge to learn 3 languages,  but one that I’m willing to try,  and bonus it’s distracting me from my current pain!

Here’s to becoming multilingual and pain free! 

The Thyroid Secret Docu-series 

So I’m watching “episodes” of a new docu-series that is very helpful in learning about my thyroid stuff. The series cites a lot of data that shows thyroid conditions are WAY under diagnosed and poorly treated when diagnosed. It also starts to explain what proper treatment is.  I’m glad this information is finally getting out there. 

I am only somewhat shocked to find that the auto-immune diet for thyroid treatment is so very similar to the TLC protocol diet for depression. Unfortunately there are things in both that I can’t eat because of my particular allergy combinations. But it does show how intrinsically linked diet is to health and reinforces the thyroid-depression link. 

If you know anyone that struggles with: 

Depression, anxiety, low energy,  hair loss, heart conditions,  or other auto-immune/allergy conditions; 

Please, please, watch this documentary series and refer them to do the same.

Home page for The Thyroid Secret

Episode 1

Episode 2

There’s supposed to be more series “episodes”,  so I recommend signing up to get the emails with reminder links- there is a subscribe box on the homepage. 

Synchronisity: therapy,  allergies & depression- A Thank You!

Synchronicity

Synchronicity
Synchronicity is a concept, first explained by psychiatrist Carl Jung, which holds that events are “meaningful coincidences” if they occur with no causal relationship, yet seem to be meaningfully related. During his career, Jung furnished several slightly different definitions of it.

SynchronicityWikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity

 

 

Last week (7th- 15th) I spent a lot of time very angry and upset.  I screamed at the divine “You have the ability to help me fix this!” The sentiment of the screaming was: I want to fix this- all of the things wrong in life and with me right now-and can’t,  you can help.  Why won’t you hear me and do so? !

Several days running, I screamed, and screamed during my commutes.

Thursday of that week (10th) I find myself at work crying.  I just couldn’t stop.  I tried going to the restroom.  I washed my faced twice;  the best I could do was slow the crying down to a gentle sob. One of the employees, which I’ve had many conversations with, saw me. He got me tissues and coffee.

He found his boss,  the woman I coordinate with, & they pulled me into a quiet space.  They spoke with me a long time, they gave me hugs, offered to take me to the hospital. After discussing that I didn’t have a specific plan,  she decided the hospital  might not be an appropriate option. They offered to find some resources and sent me home.  Before I could even leave the parking lot they had provided me with resources to try,  different ones than I’d already tried. I made calls & stopped at one of them on the way home.

It was such a relief. For the first time in ages,  I knew someone I worked with cared (something I asked for in my post: Trying to Hinde From My Fears).  Also for the first time in ages I was getting help without having to jump through thousands of overwhelming red tape hoops & paperwork nightmares. I felt relief.

The place I stopped at on the way home was a church that the nursing home coordinates with for services for the residents and certain holiday events.  They provided real-time financial assistance and got me on the list for their volunteer therapist program.  I’m on the waiting list and will be connected with someone there as soon as an opening is available. Again, I felt relief.

The other resource my co-workers provided was for KC Care clinic- formerly KC Free Clinic.  I came to learn that affordable care act regulations prevented them from seeing people without some hoops, but that they still try to help.

I was able to get paperwork (2015 tax return, proof of residency, ID)  & prof of insurance filed by the following Wednesday. They logged me as insured/uninsured because one medical appointment a year is covered,  but everything else isn’t.  After reviewing my financials I qualify for $10/appt and some prescription assistance.

I had a phone screening the next day and because of my answers the behavioral health counselor said she wanted to get me in as soon as possible.  She stated that she had a good therapist- a grad student in mind (as licensed therapists were booked 3 months out) -that she thought would be a great fit. After agreeing to try him & playing schedule tag, we found a workable appointment the next day (last Friday) .

The following morning I had a plan to fit as much in as possible to accommodate the lunch appointment.  But it seems the divine  had heard some  prayers finally (Thank you to those putting in a good word for me!).

My first clue was working on a woman that had the same physique and mannerisms of Nathan’s mom.  I  called him and told him he needed to call his mom, and explained why.

Then right as I’m trying to get one more person before scurrying on to my next location.

BAM! YOU JUST THOUGHT YOU’D HAVE PLANS!

My last lady was an 83 year old with COPD so bad that she needed oxygen constantly.  She confessed she’d never smoked but had pneumonia several times as a baby, and spent the rest of her life with multiple severe allergies- which is probably what damaged her lungs.  She told me she’d  figured a lot of them out on her own, and shared a list uncannily like mine, but longer. She continued saying;  after much trials & tribulations & several God given suggestions she’d ended up seeing a Doctor in Liberty that she later discovered was famous for his innovative treatments for allergies. It really helped, but later after having amalgam fillings removed she had trouble again. I told her about a detox I was going to try that’s supposed to help with heavy metals like found in amalgam fillings. I wrote the info down for her and took the allergy doctor’s info.

She then told me about a time when she’d fractured her hip & discovered she was allergic to pain killers. She said that she was hallucinating, she felt like she was in the TV, because she would respond to questions on the TV like someone was standing there asking her. She said she’d gotten really paranoid & was trying to lash out,  but couldn’t because her body felt too heavy.  She said that finally after hours of this, she got to where she couldn’t breathe & was slowly asphyxiating. The doctors thought she was dieing  & after telling her daughter, her daughter made the decision to stop the IV’ s. She  says within about an hour she was breathing normally, & several hours later it was like nothing had happened. She managed through the pain from the fracture  & eventually healed just fine. She told me: you’re young, you have plenty of time to figure things out & just refuse to take anything that’s not whole organic produce into your body; you might be able to avoid COPD. I was stunned, but thanked her for her story, explaining I needed to go.

The conversation was 45 min long and meant I wasn’t going to accomplish anything else before my therapy appointment.

I called Nathan again and explained what had just occurred. I exclaimed why; why would the divine give me valid information to try to act on, but not the resources to do anything with it. I Just don’t get it. He said I know, just log the info, keep the doctor’s information safe and maybe it will work out soon. I said I doubt it because it’s not like this journey is new. Again he repeated I know, we’ll figure it out.

I went ahead and headed to the appointment. I’ve been to a therapist in the past, but it’d been a while- about a decade. I cant say I was excited, because my previous experience helped a little, but hadn’t produced lasting results- obviously.  It also felt like failure. If I am needing serious help from professionals, then things have gone horribly wrong.

The appointment was much like I remember. Essentially sitting in an office talking to someone. Although in this case, the case manager that did the phone screening was there for the first visit- regulations, she told me. Lots of questions with uncomfortable answers. I can’t tell you how much depression hurts daily, and I have absolutely no words to describe how painful telling my life story to 2 strangers is. There was lots of crying. Lots of feeling ashamed. At one point I exclaimed that I can’t stand when I’m like this, I do things I wouldn’t normally.

We covered my journey with low thyroid, my journey with allergies, and even my past therapy and failed anti-depressant trials. They explained that the anti-depressants likely didn’t work because of the thyroid issues. I also told them about that earlier conversation with the 83 year old COPD patient, and I exclaimed: “Do you know how many times I’ve been to medical professionals with knowledge of severe allergies and long standing depression and no one ever mentioned that allergies could cause psychosis!” They genuinely listened. I felt some relief again.

As the appointment was winding down they left me with supportive words. This was the 3rd time in one week (co-workers, church people, and therapists) that I was hearing that I had hung in spectacularly. The jist of this 3rd round: They told me many people would have given up much sooner. They told me that I must be massively strong to talk myself out of suicide so many times, let alone avoiding hurting my family. They told me that I am an amazing mom for figuring out how to handle the time when my thyroid prevented breastfeeding. They told me that I had done the best I could with a whole lot of really difficult things that I couldn’t control, and that I was a wonderful supportive wife and mom. That I should just give myself a really big break, a pat on the back, and let others take care of me for a while, that it was time I came first. I CRIED SO HARD! I knew the words were echoing around my brain and bouncing off all the times I’d heard them before, but it’s  just so damn hard to hear them when you’re hurting. Yet it was still relief.

Finally, the grad-student therapist explains he’s been working with a well known doctor that has studied depression for 20 years, and has discovered a link between inflammatory diseases like allergies, and depression. Essentially, he explains, inflammation on the brain can manifest in many ways, including depression. Then he explains that there is a connection between Omega 6’s and increased inflammation, and that maybe boosting Omega 3’s which are anti-inflammatory might help. He also says there are other factors at play, and we’ll spend the next visit going through questions and answers to see if this Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes program might help. He then gives me the info to see the doctors Ted-X presentation…. SEE HERE for the video

I can’t tell you how much relief that appointment was. They listened, and in the end, essentially they say I’m on to something, I’ve got a good start, I just need help figuring it out the rest of the way. If this program works, I can’t tell you how much relief that will be. Can you imagine fighting something for 21 years and finally finding an answer?

img_0436-raw-atlantic-sized

I’ve already watched the TedX video (which brought me to tears) and I’ve even increased my Omega 3 foods (mostly salmon) drastically since Friday. I’ve also exercised more this week. Previously, I was getting 1 to 2 exercise days a week. I’ve already added a 3rd this week, and I’m shooting for a 4th somewhere in there. I’m not sure if it is helping yet, as it’s only been 4 days and I’ve done more yelling and screaming in that time, but I am hopeful.

I’m just so grateful that there’s possibly something that could eliminate my decades long battle, and that GOD finally gave me some clues. Now if he could just open up a way to see the allergy doctor in Liberty. I would love to heal my body too!

Seriously though, I know I have people reading my words and praying for me and my family. I thank you all. I honestly believe it made the difference and triggered this chain of events, I’ve been asking for years, and it’s not until screaming for days while other’s are praying for me that I get some answers. I appreciate it more than you could know, it means that I have hope again of possibly healing my brain and body and being able to leave depression behind me. That means sooooo much to me. Thank you.

Allergies, not just sneezing.

After having spoken with many people about my allergy journey, I’ve decided that it is important for me to share the stories in a more tangible way to help others that may be struggling to figure their symptoms out. My story is one of listening to signs and ques and decoding the information to find relief. Simple as that, but in that simplicity is a huge array of complex and time consuming actions. So in my story you will see the information I gleaned, and how I went about testing theories, and ultimately the discoveries about my myriad of symptoms based upon the allergen. I hope it helps you.

My journey started very young. By the age of 3 I had received allergy shots to help with symptoms such as congestion, red watery eyes, and sneezing. By kindergarten I was being given Benadryl regularly for the same symptoms. By 2nd grade I’d seen an allergist who did the very expensive skin prick testing. His results were mold spores, certain tree pollens, and certain grass pollens and even dandelion and ragweed pollen. I was told stay indoors when pollen counts were high and that I would probably have to take allergy medicine my whole life unless I was lucky enough to outgrow some of my allergies.

By the time I was 11, I was no better. I was given my vaccine boosters a little late, but the doctors assured my mom I’d be fine because I had had all of my vaccines on time prior to that booster. That year my allergies swelled. I could not go outside if ours or any of our neighbors’ yards had been mowed. Otherwise I would end up in a congested, red-eyed wheezing fit. That year I got a horrible case of pneumonia, which the doctor noted as being unseasonably early, and had to do regular breathing treatments and large doses of antibiotics to get over the pneumonia. The following summer my allergies were just as bad and my mom took me back to the doctor. He diagnosed me as having asthma and medicated accordingly. That year was the same year that I gained massive amounts of weight, almost 80 pounds, and began my battle with Depression.

I have now seen the documentary Vaxxed, and even though they only discussed one particular complication of the vaccine, I am now certain that all of my health problems could be plausibly linked to that vaccine booster or a particular set of circumstances of which the vaccine was merely the tipping point. And for all I know, with the lack of reliable truthfully studied and relinquished/disclosed information,  it is plausible that my entire allergy journey is intrinsically linked to my full exposure to the myriad of childhood vaccines I received. See my previous post- especially the part about 3 things I know.

Regardless, that year included a vaccine and the beginning of major lifelong health problems including significant health altering allergies and severe depression.

I continued on following Wetern Medicine’s half-assed fix. Take allergy medicine, if you have trouble breathing- use your inhaler, if the breathing trouble persists use a breathing machine, if that fails to control the breathing come back in and get a script for antibiotics.They didn’t deal with the depression chalking it up to being a pre-teen in middle school. They didn’t deal with the weight gain because my thyroid “was low side of normal”.

By the time I graduated high school I was using my inhaler regularly because one of my class-mates died from an asthma attack and I was petrified that it could have been me. I was probably over medicating at the slightest wheeze out of fear.

I graduated and went to college. As part of my research for a science class I came across a website discussing allergies. That website went over different types of allergies, covered lists of allergens and even discussed the intrinsic link between food allergies and environmental allergies. I’m sorry I don’t have the link anymore- it was over a decade ago I read it. Anyway, the site explained that if food allergies are present, environmental allergies will manifest more severely because your immune system is already on overload and hyper-reactive. I took that information and marinated on it because I didn’t know how to proceed. How did you figure out if you had food allergies? I just couldn’t conceptualize the process of eliminating foods to try and figure that out.

Within about 2 or 3 months of that, I met someone that had a Red40 allergy and she told me about her reactions. She explained that she was also allergic to other things and blue food-coloring. I was amazed at her story and how she figured it all out. Again I marinated on that information. I’m providing these anecdotes because I have noticed that along my journey the information always presented itself through outside sources first, and followed in first hand experience later.

So my first hand experience was during my 2nd year of college. I had a small apartment and was trying to make a go of it on my own. Like any poor college student I cut corners on food to allow for spending money for weekend fun. One meal led to my first allergen discovery. I ate a king sized package of twizzelers and a can of green beans. Up to that point I’d only ever had a few twizzelers at a time, and I’d had green beans from a can thousands of times in my life. As I sat in my tiny living room wheezing and puffing on my inhaler every 15 min, I recalled the conversation with the friend that had all the allergies. By the end of 4 hours I could finally breathe mostly normally, but my heart was racing from the excessive inhaler use. I was petrified, but knew I had to test my Red40 theory.

Over the next couple of  weeks I had green beans several times and twizzelers several times (in smaller quantities). Sure enough the green beans were harmless, but the twizzelers left me wheezing every time. Ok, so now I know I do have a food allergy. I thought just one.

Fast forward several years. Anya was about 3 and her biological mom was harping on us to keep her on a gluten free diet. I was doing my best to make gluten free bread and failing. I read an article about Rye being similar to wheat, but that the glutinous protein was slightly different and thus some Gluten Intolerant people could eat rye. I was excited because I’d watched my mom make rye many times over and I knew I could duplicate the bread with a good recipe. I bought a bag of rye flower and the complimentary ingredients and proceeded to make 2 loaves. They turned out perfectly and as soon as the first was cool enough to eat, I sliced away and Nathan and I enjoyed almost a whole loaf that day. By dinner time (roughly 2 hours later) I was so bloated I was in pain and didn’t want to move. I had the most horrible gas, and felt like puking. I curled up in a ball on the sofa and sipped on hot  tea hoping it would calm my stomach. My stomach stayed tied up in knots for 2 days after that. Of course now I have another theory: was it the rye? Test, test again. I bought store loaves of rye from 3 or 4  different sources. trying one or 2 slices at a time.  Every time I ended up severely bloated and miserable for hours. So, ok, now I have 2 food allergies- right?!

Fast forward another couple of years and I was trading with a massage therapist that was having her knees replaced because her nightshade allergy had produced (Rheumatoid?) arthritis enough years that her knees were permanently damaged. Logged and noted.

Fast forward another couple of years. I got pregnant with Ian. I knew that gestational diabetes was a thing in my family. I also knew my mom’s version was atypical in some respects but couldn’t remember how. So I started logging everything. What I ate, how much of it, when, and what my glucose numbers were afterward. I noticed a pattern that took switching practitioners 3 times to acknowledge. I noticed that only certain foods were causing glucose spikes, and if I avoided those I was fine. The person that finally acknowledged the pattern explained that any stress on the body will raise glucose, and that an allergic response could definitely stress the body. It was suggested to eliminate the offending foods and see if I still have any glucose problems. I did so, and voila- the glucose issues disappeared. Anytime I misbehaved and ate a “bad” food my numbers would spike astronomically high. I would get 300’s off of 2 TBSP of mashed potatoes, but I could eat a full serving of wild rice and still be relatively normal. I got through the pregnancy just fine and had a beautiful healthy 7 pound baby boy with just diet control.

My theory is that in my body’s efforts to protect the baby, it flared my allergies to an extreme response so that I would notice more quickly and quit doing the offending behavior. Now, I know my list of foods that this process revealed, but since I’ve given birth the allergies have not backed off. I had sincerely hoped they would have, but it seems they are as bad as ever. I now take 2 different allergy medicines: Singulair and Zyrtec, and still have to do breathing treatments regularly or use my inhaler when I’m away from home. It’s so severe now that I am contemplating seeking a compounding pharmacist to eliminate the corn and potato products in my medicines.

I’ll go over my pregnancy defined list (in addition to the Red40 and Rye) and their symptoms now. It may be TOO MUCH INFORMATION for some, but if you are on a healing journey, you may find all the gross details helpful.

  1. Nightshade Family: Tomatoes, Peppers (any except peppercorns), Eggplant, Potatoes, and Gogi Berries.- This family skyrockets my blood sugars, causes my asthma to flare instantaneously, and at least tomatoes and potatoes leave me swollen and with joint pain. The inundation also causes my seasonal allergies to go off the charts so that I end up with runny nose, sneezing, and itchy watery red eyes. Symptoms will back off within hours, but if exposure was severe, remnants last for 2 weeks.
  2. Corn- loose stools, flatulence, bloating, my body refuses to fully digest food at the meal it was involved in, and thus I miss out on helpful nutrients, and the worst symptom by far is the severe joint pain. When I’ve consumed corn I end up with joint pain so severe I have trouble walking, even standing, and it has lasted 2 to 4 days each time. I now refuse to eat corn knowingly due to this. In the last 6 months I’ve had corn twice accidentally because of eating food made by friends, in which I didn’t ask the ingredients. Needless to say that doesn’t really happen too often, I can’t stand the consequences.
  3. Wheat- This is one of my lesser allergies, too bad even the lesser one is significant enough to want to avoid it. I get mild bloating, sometimes accompanied by stomach discomfort. Usually some constipation, and occasionally bloody stool.
  4. Soy- very similar reaction to wheat, but usually more severe bloating.
  5.  Lactose/dairy- bloating, massive flatulence, stomach cramps, intestinal cramps, hiccups, and IBS type stool responses.
    1. Lactose, Soy, and Wheat I’ve learned are still cause for great concern because of their relation to the thyroid. Being hypothyroid with allergies means that if I could afford the testing I’d probably be diagnosed with auto-immune hypothyroidism. Simply meaning my allergies cause the immune system to attack the thyroid. Essentially, there are molecules in those 3 foods that are very close in structure to molecules found naturally in your thyroid. If your body reacts to one, it attacks both. It is felt by having a thyroid dip even while taking thyroid medicine.
    2. Thyroid dips include: severe fatigue, depression, anger, mood swings, cold hands/feet, heart palpitations/chest pain, blood pressure swings, swelling in the extremities, and many more that I don’t always get- these are my common symptoms. For more info, please see StopTheThyroidMaddness and HypothyroidMom.

I’ve read recently the link between leaky gut, thyroid problems, and food allergies. On top of that the doctor in Vaxxed  was noting that a large number of the kids affected had been ill prior to vaccination and had taken antibiotics for the illness. His theory as I understand it, is that the killing of good gut bacteria made them more susceptible to things passing beyond the gut lining, and whatever passed through made it to the brain and did permanent irreparable damage, such as has been seen in people with advanced stage Whipple Disease. If this is the case then there is a very strong likelihood that the vaccinations not only triggered the allergies, but also may have caused brain damaged that led to my chronic battle with severe depression. The upside is that what I’ve been reading about leaky gut suggests that once the gut is healed the body can begin to heal and restore itself to pre-injury functioning. It’s a very very slow process, but one that is completely attainable through avoiding allergens and taking proactive steps such as bone broth and probiotics. I am hopeful. I’m working on getting myself back into avoiding the allergens like the plague, and from there I’ll add in the broth and probiotics.

And hell, I’ve come a long way already. I’ve figured all of this out: mostly on my own, and done all the hard work this far. I’ve lost 60 pounds and kept it off (had lost almost 100, but gained 40 back after birth), and I look damn good for someone that struggles through every day. I think I’m going to congratulate myself, so that I at least have myself on my side!

Finally it’s here!

Just got home, & Voi La: my medicine is finally here! Just in the knick of time.

At lunch I took another round of OTC bovine thyroid & iodine.  Again,  not ideal,  but better than nothing right.  Maybe, maybe not: my feet became swollen & felt like they were on fire, I was as fatigued as ever,  & as my work day came to a close my legs stated cramping & my heart started hurting.

I took the first dose of my new prescription  as soon as I got the box open,  & 30 min later I began feeling relief. It was almost as though something cool was traveling through my veins,  providing relief.  As I wrote  this,  my left foot is still uncomfortable, & there are just remnants of chest pain. 

I have suspected that the OTC desiccated  thyroid,  which is from bovine sources, may  be higher in T4 than prescription grade porcine thyroid.  Mainly because it gives me many of the symptoms of Levothyroxin, including hot flashes & anger, but not necessarily the symptoms of excess or hyperthyroidism like itchy hives.

I wondered if any of my sources had specifically addressed this,  and though I didn’t get that exact response, I did find an interesting article explaining why T4 vs T3 can still leave a hypothyroid person in big trouble. Here: I follow Hypothyroid Mom, & she filled in a gap in knowledge for me.  My heart pain was literally my heart begging for T3, & not getting it,  despite taking all my OTC stuff.

So now I know that I am probably not converting T4 to T3 well, & should be looking at my T3 levels much more closely. Another piece of  the puzzle coming together,  but so many more to go. Like, will I need a script for just T3?

I was just thinking earlier  today that the wonderful thing about ignorance is that you have no need or desire to examine the causes, let alone find any solutions for anything you are dealing with.

My thyroid journey began with a ride on  an Amtrak train,  meeting a woman who had a story uncannily similar to mine, same weight problems & depression cycles for years.  Telling me she met a doctor from Colorado that discovered a new type of hypothyroid that was being missed by most doctors because  traditional reading of lab results.

Though I don’t remember details of that conversation well,  I do  know it is what spurred me  to try iodine,  which literally got the ball rolling for  me.

The downside of coming out of ignorance though is that you are suddenly thrust into a giant puzzle of cause,  effect,  & searches for solutions.  Not  only do you now have a desire to figure some things out,  it brings your attention to the problem so clearly that you need to figure out the solutions as fast as possible to avoid intensifying the anguish and misery of your own predicament.

This also occurred with allergies for me.  Growing up I always had allergies,  as long as I can remember anyway.  Having to get shots to make it through the fall.  One year mom paid nearly a thousand dollars for a round of skin prick testing.  Results: several pollens, mold spores, & male cat dander. No problem right,  take your allergy  medicine,  avoid the triggers,  & you should be fine- ignorance is bliss- sort  of!

We never had male cats,   & during my worst seasonal allergy periods,  my mom would keep me in air conditioning & prevent me from doing any yard work. Religious,  she was, about making me take my allergy medicine too. With all of  that, I essentially spent my entire adolescence with stuffed up runny  noses,  red itchy eyes,  & many sinus infections.

Finally,  when I was a freshman in college,  I read an article about how many people with unending seasonal allergies,  really are experiencing a full body auto-immune allergy overload because of dietary allergies. I had no idea it was possible,  but instantly bells went off and all I could think was “is this why mine never go away? ”
Yanked immediately out of  my comfortable ignorance,  I started examining things I was doing,  working   with,  & eating to try & determine if that was truly the case.

It was months until I definitively found one – the first to be obvious was Red 40. I noticed every serving of food with it was followed by asthma symptoms.  The more Red, the more asthma. Good bye.

Then rye, it caused bloating something fierce, & all manner of What is NOW called IBS. Good bye.

Then it seemed like things were mostly better.  I quit searching.  Until,  that is, I got pregnant- thanks to the train lady suggesting Iodine,  actually working.

Pregnancy,  as many women know,  amplifies any issues you may have. Brings them to the surface and forces you to deal with them one way or another.

I was determined to have a healthy home birth,  so that meant hard work, & quickly.  Blood sugars, led to food journals. Journals led to patterns- allergies presenting.  Essentially every time I ate an allergen,  blood sugars spiked. One doctor finally admitting that allergies are  an immune response,  a stress on your system,  and any stress of  that sort will spike blood sugars. He admitted that might be the case,  only because I would have high readings & low readings with the same number of carbs,  & high readings were only with certain foods.

Knock out those foods: corn, potatoes,  tomatoes,  green peppers, wheat, & soy. Suddenly,  I can eat as much as I want all day long.  So long as none of those are in the mix.

Obviously,  I got my healthy home birth,  & happy healthy baby.

I fudge now & then,  but I’m learning that’s not such a good idea.  Even though wheat  isn’t my worst allergy for symptoms,  it sure makes controlling my thyroid harder.  Do you know how many things have wheat in them? !
Essentially,  if I stick to my allergen list,  I can’t eat hardly anything that comes  pre-packaged. Most gluten free items contain corn or potatoes,  or  both.
So,  behaving means: lots of salads,  home  cooked everything,  making my own sauces and dressings,  mostly veggies,  quinoa & Brown or wild rice are ok, & lots of fresh juices & green drinks.  It’s a lot of work – & most definitely not cheap!  I wouldn’t wish my plight on anyone,  yet I know I’m not alone.

I have my beliefs on the cause of  this whole mess called my life,  but they’re controversial,  so I’ll leave that for another day. Just know if you are reading this & resonating or “feeling” what I’m saying – you are not alone.  We’ll get through this together.  For now,  at least I have desiccated  thyroid,  & a doctor willing to work with me to find the best dosage, and/or solution. I hope you all find at least that piece of your puzzle.