Empty candle jars from the last year. (I saved all the decent glass jars, especially ones with labels I liked.)
Plus
$8 in wax (in addition to remnants) and $6 of wicks
Equals: 3 hours in the kitchen refilling candles.
May you have good ways to be kind to our environment. May you enjoy hobby activities and recycling. May you always have plenty of light in your life. May you light a candle for your own spirit and another for peace in the world. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
I am grateful for the time to reconnect to myself. I am grateful for toes in the sand. I am grateful for salt water waves. I am grateful for the sun continuing to shine. I am grateful for birds and beasts and breath taking beauty all around. I am grateful for time to let go and allow better. I am grateful for space and time. I am grateful for good food and good window shopping. I am grateful for exploration. I am grateful for this experience.
Next time:
More sun
More fun
Less responsibility
More independence
More and bigger money flow
Same or better amenities
One really nice seafood dinner to savour in silence looking out over the water. The couple of times I’ve gotten to do that, it was amazing.
More me, less for others
Longer duration
Different location
More flexibility (usually comes with independence, but never hurts to specify)
Better water pressure (in amenities)
Better swim-ability (warmer waters, less wind, calmer waves)
Kids/spouse to join me (as long as someone else can watch the kids for safety concerns) I prefer the fun parts.
More quiet time for me, more alone time.
More savoring of everything
Explore the coast more
See new things, experience new things
More of ME… I like me.
I realized on this short trip that I have been manifesting my family and their expectations for so long that I have had a hell of a time stopping that ball. I have slowed the momentum significantly and found more of me. I like me, and I’m very different than they are.
May you have many things to be grateful for. May you find yourself and your inner fire. May you see yourself for who you are and what you deserve. May you find every way possible to allow your own light even when it seems challenging. May you always have reasons for a next time, and know you are allowing better and better, to flow a better next time. May you enjoy more and appreciate every moment. May you see your creations and find ways to open your vortex more. May you find a way to apply your “work-hard” ethics to “think and allow” so that you flow your own self, as well or better than, you flow other’s expectations of you. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
I was already thinking about my childhood when I saw the quote. Initially, contemplation was stirred by several people having asked me if I liked what I do.
I have answered honestly every time that question has ever been asked, and surprisingly my answer is not much different that the first time I was asked years ago.
In general I love what I do. I help people, I enable people to feel better and I often guide them towards finding healing (or with elderly- release, which is its own kind of healing). There have been points in my history where finances were very tight or other elements were stressful, but mostly my career is low stress and adequate financially. I will likely never become a millionaire on massage alone, but I have changed lives and helped others find less stress and more peace. I help people every day that I get up and go do what I do best.
And that is the key: WHAT I do BEST.
My best is not always hands rubbing and poking muscles. My best is not always words that come out of my mouth. My best changes from moment to moment. Sometimes it is energy work, sometimes it is the massage, sometimes it is saying just the right words at just the right moment, and sometimes it is what I do when I’m not earning my keep.
And I don’t always manage my best, but I always know why.
My mom was key in better understanding of the phrase “Always do your best”. She was the one that repeated it frequently, but she also had a deeper understanding of it.
She would tell us stories of how she was punished by teachers when she couldn’t read the blackboard after having had Scarlett fever, and finally one teacher figured out she simply couldn’t see. She would tell us stories of being moved around over and over again because she was a military kid, and all of the trouble it caused for her, but how she would get through. There were dozens of stories I heard as a kid where she was conveying that she was doing her best to survive and get through even when no one else noticed or cared, but eventually it mattered and got better.
She was key in my understanding that “Always do your best” only really matters to you. It only matters to the person doing their best. You are the only one that can determine if you are doing your best in any given moment or any given situation.
I then thought of when I was a kid participating in district solo and ensemble competitions. I was that kid that aimed for the 1’s not because I got ribbons and medals. No I aimed at the 1’s because I wanted to do my best regardless of anyone else. I would sit in a corner practicing quietly and let everyone ignore me, and later I would beat up on myself for mistakes because I knew I could do better. It wasn’t until years later that I understood I had already done my best because stage fright was real for me. Simply having managed receiving 1’s multiple times over, when battling stage fright intensely, was a feat in and of itself. Simply conquering my dyslexia on my own was a feat of my fortitude.
I was the kid that was bullied, molested, picked on or ignored mostly. But I still did my best getting good grades, setting curves, winning music and art competitions, and volunteering whenever I was able.
And to this day I am satisfied with my self-sufficient kick-ass way of always doing my best.
None of my accomplishments mean anything to the world, but they are no less amazing and spectacular. None of my accomplishments mean much to my birth family, but they are no less amazing and spectacular.
I am standing on my own and with great knowing that I can and will continue to do so, no matter what.
I am in a marriage that was completely unsupported by anyone. I have kids that were unaccepted because they are mixed race. I have largely done it all on my own and I still give my love to others daily.
I do not need anyone to support me or make things better, because I know that I always do my best, no matter what. I also know that those that shy away from me because of my baggage, are entirely missing the point.
I am a beautiful goddess and strong in my power. I am not perfect, I am a human goddess. I make mistakes, and I understand how to do better the next time. I constantly strive to do better because I know my best can keep improving. My best matters to me because it got me through when there was no one and no way to do it otherwise. My best is the result of all I’ve seen, done, and learned along the way.
And I forgive myself for the moments that weren’t my best. Humans make mistakes. It’s what you do with your mistakes that matters.
So yes, I love my career because it bring great satisfaction with minimal stress and it allows me to do my best every day I live.
To quote Abraham: “Money isn’t the root of all evil, but it isn’t the cause or solution of everything either”. For me I’d love to have more money, but I’m satisfied with the results of doing my best, even if more money never comes. My best is what has always mattered to me the most, and it’s not always measurable in dollars.
May you know that you do your best always. May you know what your best looks like and find forgiveness for the moments that aren’t. May you always understand why you didn’t accomplish your best and know how to improve next time. May you see the good in all parts of your life and have greater understanding for yourself and others. May you find that your best guides you to joyful work and a joyful life. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
I just spent the last minutes of my evening under a canopy of twinkle lights. We put them up over the front patio today. It took $26 for the pole and eyebolts at the top, 30 min to set the pole, and about an hour climbing up an down the ladder. It is blissful. Nathan just went in to start his dialysis treatment and I’m going to do my meditation before going in.
May you have peaceful and blissful experiences in/at your home. May you love your days mostly. May you have excellent meditation moments. May you find things to appreciate easily.