Tag Archives: art

Dome on the Range

Atira Home Dome

So this week has brought ups and downs. I had a lot of emotional roller coaster riding, which the acupuncturist was uncomfortably quick to point out the cause. (Am I really that transparent?) It was a combination of hormones from trying to sync up with the rest of the female staff, in addition to liver heat and congestion I stirred up from doing cupping on my arms. Yea… not. As TCM practitioners, they were very helpful with some herbs for the emotional side, and needles for the physicality, and I took extra walks for the anti-inflammatory benefits. I can say after several days I am doing better.

I did also get a fair amount of wonderful artwork in, both digitally and by hand.

I was able to complete the first shirt design I posted about previously, and with a minimum of edits. Mainly they had me change font once, take out a few of the contour lines in the figure, and adjust colors. In my book that’s an excellent start for only having done 5 commissions in the last 12 years. They then requested a second shirt and a business sign, which I have drafts pending for. I am super appreciative of not only being able to play with my design software, but for having gotten the commission work as well. It feels really good to be doing a variety of things that I am good at.

I told Nathan that I always was really good at giving people what they asked for. Mainly because I don’t like having to rebuild or make significant time consuming changes. I would much rather ask enough questions up front to get the idea, and hit the mark as close as possible on the first try. Fonts are almost always where the edits come in, as I have so many fonts that I tend to aim for more creative, and sometimes the plain fonts are more desired by the customer.  The customer is always right, and their font preferences will always win.

Regardless, within a day or two I will likely clear my 3rd design approval, and that is in addition to working full time as a massage therapist. That is happy dance worthy in my book.

Now pile on top of that having had enough time to do some coloring and I am feeling much more buoyant. I chose a mandala and colored in between clients. The day I started it, I was wearing the colors that I started the mandala with- blues and lavenders. The office manager thought that was amusing, and after she pointed it out, I did too. I kept coloring and began to realize I had been coloring in the chakra palette. Blues and violets being throat, third eye and crown. Pinks and greens being for heart chakra, and yellow for solar plexus. By that point, having accidentally accomplished that much, I decided to finish the mandala in appropriate progression.

Here are the results, which I’m super happy with:

20191009_1554192054716829049856828.jpg

I also accomplished some really amazing massage work this week helping a client with multiple-decades-old scar tissue and what she thought was an underdeveloped scapula. After some very intense myofascial release, I was able to show her that not only were her shoulder blades the same size, but that the damaged shoulder was capable of laying flat. I also helped not one, but two people, with major constriction in their hips. It was a very good massage week.

My final note of upswing is in the image I began with. It is the design for my dream dome home. I’m working on turning my sketches into drafted images. Obviously, I’ve barely gotten started as it was a low priority. I won’t be building it next week, and unless a miracle happens, probably not this year. So, it falls last on the list after all other computing and design work wraps up. Considering I’ve literally only devoted a few precious minutes to it, I think I have a great start. I am so looking forward to finishing it.

I leave you with the following blessings:

May you find joy in your work and time enough for other joys.

May you have days filled with beauty, and the emotional fortitude to breathe and see it.

May you have more than enough, and ample miracles in your life.

Finally, may you see your strengths and your own inner beauty and light.

Siva Hir Su

New day, new week.

“Everything’s gonna be all right.” -Bob Marley

Yesterday, I did some art, spent time with my family, and had a fairly relaxing good day, mostly at home. It was nice.

The art was nothing spectacular, just a little coloring to make friends with my new space. But I do have an idea for a charcoal drawing I may start working on.

The time with family was mostly ok to good, but Ian is still struggling with misbehaving. We discovered that he poked holes in the head of our djembe drum that Nathan was gifted over a decade ago. After ordering a new head and refreshing my memory of how to re-head the drum, I had a discussion with Ian.

He told me that a certain someone we used to live with was in his head telling him to keep causing trouble. I explained that that particular person was very manipulative and found satisfaction in causing chaos in other people’s lives, and that was why I chose to disconnect and move on from them. I told him he had to make that choice on his own, but that consequences would increase for him if he chose to keep listening to that person. I explained that just because he could hear them, didn’t mean he had to do anything that they said. That they choose to use their abilities for negative reasons, but that he could learn to use his for good. I also stressed that I would think he would choose to do the things that we request, especially since we genuinely love him and have his best interests at heart.

It was at that point that I understood why I kept being told that Archangel Michael was around me. I sent several prayers throughout all of yesterday requesting that the Angels protect all of us, and help my children remove energetic connections to those people. I also sent prayers that they help me forget that person and enable me to forgive the damage done so that my cords would permanently dissolve.

My decision on that person is: I don’t believe they have it in them to heal, I know they are so addicted to several things, including the drama of creating chaos, that they don’t even see their own patterns. We all have things like that, but this is just an extreme case. Regardless, even if they did try to change I don’t think it would stick and thus I don’t foresee ever being able to spend any significant time around them again. So, I do wish and pray for compete disconnection for myself and my family, I do want that to become a series of unfortunate events that I ultimately learn to forgive myself for enabling, and them for continuing to create.

Regardless, I went on to tell Ian that I love him, and that Nathan and I are doing our best to give him tools to control his thoughts and behaviors to improve things for himself. We want him to do well and he just needs to practice the things we’ve been teaching him. I compared it to his writing practice and explained the more he does the meditations and other tricks we’ve given him, the more they will work and things will get easier and easier for him. I gave him 2 days to work on resetting and focusing on practicing those tools. Essentially 2 days free pass, as long as Nathan and I see him putting effort into doing better. I pray that those 2 days, and the near future afterward, the Angels will protect him from intrusive thoughts and mirror anything like that back to the sender. My child needs that fresh start.

Nathan rounded out the day taking Ian to a huge new playground on my way to work. He had a blast discovering the new fun things to be had.

I give thanks that Archangel Michael is protecting me and my family and thanks that each new day brings greater clarity and resources to improve our lives.

May our improvements keep compounding for exponential growth.

Bonus our family vacation is approaching quickly. My mom has agreed to go with us, so there will be a slight detour to Iowa to pick her up and drop her off, but then we’ll have 7 solid days in Great Pond Maine and Acadia National Park the last part of July and first couple days of August. As the time draws nearer I’m finding myself increasingly more excited. I am so looking forward to the distance, fun, exploration, R&R, and possibilities of the trip. I give thanks for everything that has aligned to enable this experience, including house and pet sitters, and finances. Thank you God.

Ouch!

Watch “Abraham Hicks 💓 Let FUN guide you [NEW]” on YouTube

https://youtu.be/1sYIZMsL01M.

I’m so very guilty of this. Guess I understand at least part of why the last 3 years has gone the way it has. I really need figure out how to stay-permanently- on the positive vortex side.

It’s funny: scaring off people I really like on one hand; & introducing other friends to polyamory & law of attraction on the other hand (I’ve discovered different friends have gravitated to one or the other in the last couple of years, & I was the one that introduced the concepts). I literally told Nathan when he informed me of that: “Why the hell do I keep helping others find things I have yet to fully figure out for myself?!”

———

As for me:

I just keep getting better and better at solving a never ending slew of problems. Nursing is slowly resolving: they went ahead and clipped Katherine’s tongue-tie even though the front was mild, with a disclaimer that since it wasn’t bad it might not solve things, & the rear may be more significant, but also more costly to clip. It’s solved maybe 70% of the pain. The other 30% is very, very slowly backing off as my nipples heal. I really wish I could speed that process up more, but I’ve been told its going quickly compared to others with that much damage- probably because all the goop I’m using repeatedly. I’m also in the midst of figuring out adrenal & thyroid balance post birth to put an end to the emotional nose dives and roller coaster ride I’ve been on for the last 3 weeks. Nursing problems or not, I knew the extreme falls were needing an extra look, & my last 2 tweaks seem to have made significant headway.

Now I just need to get into the doc to renew my desicated thyroid prescription.

I do wish though that Dr. Illardi would revisit his Depression Cure book with postpartum needs and situations in mind, that puzzle could use his perspective. I’ve had a heck of a time trying to apply his findings to “eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep” new baby logic, while still attempting to retain the allergy needs dictated by 3rd trimester, trying to stimulate lactation, having difficulty with severe breast pain, and not being able to leave my room half as much as I’d prefer. It’s a puzzle that has already threatened to get the better of me, but as usual I’m fighting with all I’ve got.

——–

In other news:

The basement is also coming along well. Our “living room”/ multipurpose room is nearly complete, and we’re finally working on unpacking things beyond clothing.

The storage area behind the brown chair will eventually get covered with a curtain. That is once I’m certain the crack in the ceiling no longer leaks when it rains.

My child already made friends with the Lego’s in the new open floor space, but there is still room for 2 pieces of exercise equipment, a large dog kennel (blue sheeted cube) , & stacked tables for organizing short term storage & usables.

The other table currently a mess, is intended for being art space, and most (but not all) of what is on it is art supplies. To that end I fully intend to sort & organize to actually be able to use it for its intended purpose.

Nathan’s goal has been to tackle organizing our portion of kitchen stuff in the garage & to make the garage usable space again. He’s about three quarters of the way through that process, but it looks a ton better and you can actually walk around in the garage now (as opposed to squeezing through & still being afraid of tripping, like it was a couple of weeks ago).

It’s starting to feel like home, and to that end we’re getting closer to having everything moved. Nathan’s down to missed odds and ends, & the large outdoor items. Life is finally starting to seem normal again, and things are beginning to look pretty again. That I have to thank the gods for. I asked Kali almost 3 years ago to help me make things pretty again (when I hit the remodeling-brick-walls with the trailer), and it’s finally beginning to take shape, just not the way I thought it would. SO not the way I envisioned.

Anyway, Hannah is giving the home a glorious garden. She helped me rescue plants I’d started the previous 2 years. & those combined with her plants from before, her amazing touch, a bunch of seeds, and a few new plants, things are looking great.

The view of the Iris’ from our room is wonderful too.

Finally, I’ve made cards for a couple of people that were very generous with me this year, birthday & baby wise. I was going to make a 3rd, but that person is nearly blind, so I’m not sure yet how to honor her generosity. Beyond that, it’s taken me over a month, but I’m almost done with an adult coloring page I’m in love with- an elephant.

I can’t take full credit for the cards, the cats were inspired by a single kitty I saw somewhere, & the cover words were also found. I just put my personal touch on it, crafting it with watercolors on heavy art paper, feeling like that meant more than a store bought card. I hope they feel the same way when they get them.

——–

So up, and down, and all around.

My husband and Hannah both keep telling me that I’m amazing & should be congratulating myself. I still have difficulty seeing it, knowing the thousands of things I would still like to accomplish. I do have my moments where I’m like “Yeah I’m a bad-ass giving birth and all the challenges and I’m still trucking with a healthy beautiful baby to-boot”. I just wish I could figure out how to maintain those moments consistently without seeming like or sounding like a narcissistic bastard… Yes that is a fear of mine. Yet another challenge. …

My last request for the day: one less challenge to overcome, let something be easy for once. Let a something, for everyone, be easy for once.

*Siva Hir Su.*

Creative relief.

Still no new home.

 Cats dwindled down to 3 again. One, sick from old age, was euthanized to prevent pain and suffering. Being she was having difficulty seeing, showing signs of kitty dementia, and when she tried sitting, couldn’t actually fully sit (kitty hip dysplasia) and be comfortable. We knew she was miserable. Our hearts went out to her as we helped her find a path back to god.  Salem our older male disappeared outdoors and after 2 months of searching and examining found similar stray cats we’ve given up. Social media gave us hopeful leads, but alas none were Salem.

The  2 others never took to being indoor kitties and were rehomed to a farm cat rescue where they’ll be happy as clams and well fed  in their preferred environment. 

That leaves Buddy and Missy (the brother & sister kittens) and Priss (my old fat calico). 

Buddy & Missy cuddling ( they’re the same age at about a year old, but Buddy has gotten much bigger and stockier). They are so adorable!:

The only recent cute shot of Priss I have, she was thoroughly enjoying lap snuggle with Anya.:

 

For the holidays, we have one tiny undecorated table top tree out, and so far Anya is the only one to have gifts, having gotten to use all the Walmart gift cards to buy new clothes.

So, Monday when I had my first actual day off in ages, I decided to be creative. $40 in supplies (including raw balsa wood boxes) and hours of work later, I made 2 beautiful portable altar boxes and a set of mini elemental candle holders. 

The idea was spawned from a borrowed set. The friend that helped me gain insight into my connection with the boy had loaned me hers knowing I’m never home for meditative space anymore. After almost 2 months of using hers it was time to get creative and make my own. Nathan got a box of his own as a gift.

It was much needed creative relief, and yielded beautiful results that I know at least that I’ll use.

The mess I made of our bedroom trying to work in tight quarters:

The green box left of buddy is the borrowed inspiration:

Nathan’s box with his favorite motif on the top:

inside:

outside top:

My box, Inside:

My box outside(s):

& the tiny candle holders:

I even got tiny statues of Ganesh and Shiva for both boxes. I want Kali ones too, but haven’t found those yet.

Being creative literally is not only enjoyable for me, but helps clear my head completely. I lose time, and don’t eat- not because I’m starving myself, but because my brain doesn’t even think about getting hungry. I don’t watch the clock, and I’m always surprised at how much time has passed. It in and of itself, it is often meaningful and meditative giving my brain a much needed tiny, tiny vacation. When all is done and my brain returns to “reality”, I get starvingly hungry very quick and then crash from fatigue. This instance was no different and was welcomed acknowledgement of my creative mini vacation from life.

I do have to confess that the insides are decoupaged papers, and the outside circular patterns were stencils that I then repainted over to cleanup edges. I could have done them manually, but it would have taken even more time to sketch out the designs and paint them completely from scratch. It’s something that I chose not to rush, knowing it was my only chance to complete the project anytime soon. Besides that I love the look of the metallic paints, and I’m super  grateful that I had beautiful custom altar boxes for the two of us by Yule. They’re perfectly appropriate.

The only little one left, that I need to find at least one gift for, is Ian. In theory that’s the easy one.

As much as I’d love to get gaggles of goodies, I simply can’t bear to cram anything else into our current situation. So gifts will wait for the New Year and a new home (& I foresee new organizational furniture first too). Besides I still want to get those beds I’ve had my eye on for ages. We’re all over sharing bed space with a tossing, turning toddler.

Beyond that, I got to play Santa for a friend that needed the emotional relief, if not the actual financial relief. I had great fun, and it felt really good to do something significantly good  for someone else. I’m very appreciative of that and hope that my future holds the ability to do a lot more of that.

Otherwise, I just keep trucking. Day after day, work and more work. I’ve worked 32 out of the last 35 days, and the only 2 days off in the near future are Christmas Day  and January 2nd. This schedule is already old, but until the divine manifests whatever it’s been trying to tell me about, it’s pretty much my only option.

 I’m grateful for the work and the income it provides, but I’ve had many conversations with thin air about how it’s not really my ideal, far from it in fact. 

I really hope that whatever is gestating in the ethers brings relief and moves me much closer to my ideal. I’m hoping the messages I’m getting about Valentine’s Day time frame (including my birthday) are clues of that something good, but I simply don’t know. Just that February is important somehow. Looking forward to better days.

Fatigued

I find I’m very tired today.  The divine is still talking,  but the messages are muddled. I think I got told that Nathan needs to check on his friend in Malaysia, and Anya’s dead relatives the BRTs left me with 486 as their message.  Dunno.

 I still feel the energy of that  particular archetype, but maybe I’m missing something- AGAIN. Or maybe it’s just that  I’m wishing for sunny days to return. Rain for extended periods does get to me. I’m feeling good today, just run down and low energy- even with decent sleep and a good workout 2 days running. 

I’ve cranked the music up to compensate and have done a lot of driver’s seat grooving. It helps a bit.  Today:  RobD, Delhi 2 Dublin, Kongos, Nathaniel Ratliff, and Imagine Dragons…. lots of up beat loud dance friendly grooving…. Side note:  why is it that I don’t feel self-conscious bopping in the car,  nor having body hair,  but other seemingly silly things cause great embarassment (like when my hair is a mess or like having mud on my pant leg because the car is coated in it)?

Anyway, this post was really just intended to put up a couple of small art images I forgot to put in yesterday’s blog. 

So here you go:

Top “Peace” is ink & watercolor on heavyweight watercolor paper.

Bottom “Love” is ink pen on same paper.

Fulfilling a small part of that love the infinite divine 24/7. I want more of that. 

I’ve also been thinking about all of the modern conveniences that I really love and miss. I’m going on a year without running water at home,  and it really makes me love my showers at the Y  (not that I didn’t before – I’ve always loved being in water in any format). Just mulling over all the things I love and miss and look forward to having ready access to again in the future. 

So, despite my fatigue, I’m doing my damndest to bring love and light in with me to work.  I’ve really cranked up the Reiki and I’m using the new symbol my guides gave me, even though I still don’t really know what it means. I hope it helps everyone I come in contact with today.

Additionally,  I’ve decided I’m going to set-up a flute performance for my one big building. Hopefully we can find a date far enough out that I can actually practice before performing this time. Considering I hadn’t touched my flute in almost 2 years,  Nathan’s art showing went ok,  but I did goof a couple of times. Again with that silly embarrassment:  they all said they couldn’t believe that I hadn’t touched my flute in that long and that I was great… now I just need my brain to believe it. Keep performing,  practice makes perfect. 

Lastly, I think I’m going to make a concerted effort to get our passports.  Nathan and Anya have expired one’s, but Ian and I have never even had one.  Oh my, that’s a kind of big hurdle to visiting other places one day. One I think needs to be a priority, though I’m not entirely certain why – those muddled messages maybe. 

There you have it. That’s my day so far, and my small goals. 

Mad Skillz….

For Installment 4 I’ve been thinking about all of the skills that I and Nathan have that have been collecting dust in the attic of our minds because life has taken priority for many years. Atira is intended to solve that for us and many others; at least as one of the many facets that the full idea of Atira encompasses. There will be yet more installments to discuss other facets.

For instance, Nathan and I had both learned paper-making, and had incorporated our papers into our artwork. I had grand ideals of always using my own paper for my images. Needless to say only a few have actually accomplished that. The Featured Image is currently on display as a portrait of Nathan for a showing of his Photography at a multipurpose facility in Gladstone, MO. It was done on my handmade heavyweight cold-press cotton linters paper. The drawing itself was a combination of charcoal, Conté, and ink pen. It has always been my favorite piece because I literally made every ounce of it, not to mention it being a representation of My Love. I think that is what I feel is different about  my work.

I always intend to put my love into anything I do. Sometimes I have a bad day, and fail at accomplishing that, but at least I try. I want people to know that I care, that I’m there because I want to help, because I want to make their lives and the world in general a better place. The hardest part for me is never knowing for certain if I ever accomplish it in a meaningful manner for those I work with.

Anyway, tangent aside, I had wanted for Atira to have the tools and equipment in an arts, metals, and paper studio for Nathan and I to fully utilize our skills. I had wanted a facility that rivals some of the smaller post-secondary schools, with everything represented in small scale: print-making equipment, photography (dark-room), paper-making equipment and water supply treated for impurities and pH balance, painting studio, and even jewelry making and ceramics studio space.

This would definitely enable all of our artistic skills. However, 2 people can only spend so much time creating and it would definitely be over kill if it was only for us.

So behind DOOR #2: rent the studio space by the hour, day, week, or month. Essentially tabulating discounts for extended rentals (i.e. the more time you rent the cheaper per unit it becomes), and creating a scheduling system so that each part of the studio space would be comfortably booked. For instance, ceramists tend to only want their pieces in the kiln during a fire, but have no problem sharing table space for working wet. So there would have to be different schedules for each portion of the studio to maximize rental sharing. Thus, we could literally have a dozen or more artists on site each day.

I’ve always dreamt of being able to just pay for the set-up up front, and have everything set for use at the lowest dollar feasible. Artists aren’t known for making big salaries, and obviously this is a bain to many and artists’ existence- pay for food and living expenses, or pay for art supplies and equipment. I know from experience. That is why it has fallen to the way-side for Nathan and I both.

I would love to be able to fix that for us and many many other artists. Help artists actually earn a living doing their chosen work.

Beyond that I would love to bring in some of our mentors from college to teach others what we learned a decade ago. Of course at this point many of my professors have already retired having been close to retirement when I was at the University of Iowa. Yet, I think it might still be possible. I would love to offer through the rehabilitation program the ability to learn how to be a master printer or a master paper-maker. Even better if I could give others the tools to be a jeweler or a metal-smith, which is a quite lucrative field if you can get full instruction and maintain access to proper equipment and foundry. Something I never fully manifested.

I want to give others the peace of mind that they can support themselves, and perhaps a future family, doing something that creates beauty in the world- that they can in turn find joy in. I want to create both sustainable living and sustainable happiness for others that have had a rough road in their lives. I want to be their angel bringing joy, happiness, and the ability to maintain it indefinitely.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.