I started it on a break at work, and finished it at home. It helped me to feel relief.
The relief stemmed from the feeling response of knowing that I am not alone in attempting to reach for, and educate others to reach for, making this shit we are stuck in just a little bit better. I do not hold hope for any sweeping changes in my lifetime, as in many respects I have watched the consumer economic models exaggerate decay, destruction, disease and discord which was started in my parents generation, if not slightly before. The negatives have been fought and countered with many positives, but have not been undone, and we have approximately a century of history and non-progressive “progress” destroying our humanity.
Yet this documentary brings the ray of hope that others see the challenges and see the elements of positive change. Everytime I watch something like this it helps me feel better about my role and my work in this world, which too often I would like to leave. I will keep doing my best and maybe humanity will surprise me before I die. Perhaps, since I already practice as many of these concepts as I’m able, it might one day pay off and help me and my family.
Atira was supposed to have a farming co-op like the Hawaiian farmer in this documentary has accomplished. Maybe one day. I can hope.
May you find your own personal health. May you see your own place in the interconnectedness of our universe. May you understand the roles we all have, and how we affect one another. May you see your route to healing and know for certain that your are getting there. May you have evidence of positive changes inside and outside of your singularity in the matrix. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.
Last night I meditated to a 111hz YouTube video to calm and find answers. The combination of my herbs, the frequency, and the visual, led to my connection being amplified intensely. The following words are from that channeled experience, and I think they can apply to everyone. I will expound on the rest of my related thoughts in a separate post.
The matrix is being redesigned
What do you want it to look like
Are you someone who wants me to stay down with you Or are you someone who wants to try and keep up with the changes like I do
I’m sorry if you want to stay down, I can’t stay with you If you want to keep up, we’ll do better if we work with each other
Co-operative components Assembling Courage and inspiration Voiced Calm knowing turns To decisive action
Thoughts Feelings Sensations Pleasure Intoxication Sans fluids
Dreams and desires May be futility But heart's Desires Grow heedlessly
Warmth Buzzes Tingles Of delight Expansion
Leapless leaps Hugs with no arms Kisses without lips Touches without hands Embraced by thin air
All are Symptoms Of sense beyond Present Old news
All are Knowing Of a Perfect world Far beyond This
Current Reality A false pretense Of past Manifested Emotions
Old news Is no news Imagine A Wonka dream Worlds' paradise
Even if Dreams stay Floating clouds Tis better To have felt
Hearts Desire To feel love To feel Ecstasy
Sometimes Only God Can Provide Heart's strongest Desire And it's okay that way.
Fairly straightforward, but stems from reconnecting with my vortex today. I was able to pull up and focus strongly on my vortex by using the phrase “in a perfect world _______”. It was a beautiful day with sun shining, monarch butterflies flying, hawks screeching, and good conversation with clients at the clinic and residents in independent living. Today was a good day and I look forward to many more like it. I felt a couple of my others in a much better way today and enjoyed it much more, but regardless I found me, myself and I, and observed myself in this beautiful world.
A lunch break walk around the pond by the 2nd job was wonderful and relaxing. The smell of smoke from distant forest fires temporarily caused mild distress and I reminded myself that the fires often lead to new growth. I reminded myself that sometimes the old must die to make room for the new, and if man hadn’t started them God would have used lightening to do so, just like my virus laden cells needing to die to generate much needed healing. I also reminded myself that I love the smell of fire when it’s a small controlled one in my yard or fireplace, destructive forces are not always the chaos that they seem and can be very beneficial to that which they touch.
God is ultimately the one that controlls that process the most, and faith is all that is needed to survive as God intends, as some us survive by allowing our physical self to die. For me it seems only part of me needs to die, and I trust that God will help me navigate the effects of that process in the gentlest most functional way. I will do my best to stay focused on the relaxed, feeling good, enjoyable parts of my experience, and know that it is all okay regardless.
I am where I am and it’s the first step of the journey to where I would like to be.
May you know it’s all okay. May you trust God’s process and guidance. May you feel mostly good and be able to focus on the good in your experience. May you enjoy life mostly. May you see your way through challenges and see the solutions you seek. May you know you are healing and headed for better days. May you know that God loves and supports you.
Abraham has been reminding me to get off of those things that bother me and focus on what I do want and enjoy.
Yet it seems that I may have been reeled back in. When I was considering resignation I’d had a conversation with my manager about how the residents were dieing from inactivity and the virus didn’t matter. They were not being saved from anything, and I did not desire to participate in the fallacy anymore. After I submitted my resignation they countered with adjustments that the building was making to help avoid the decline and asked if I would stay. I countered again with a statement that I could not in good conscience keep reprimanding adults like clueless children, that they are able to make decisions regarding risk and I respect and honor that. We will see if they still want me knowing I will not separate residents that are not doing exactly as dictated by external rules.
For now I will focus on positive aspects of all the things I love and appreciate:
I enjoy helping a community that feels like extended family.
I am very appreciative that my opinions, observations, and ethics are respected and honored.
I enjoy seeing the residents happy and feeling good.
I enjoy knowing that the residents are generally enjoying life and their retirement.
I enjoy knowing that they are finally finding ways to allow others to be of assistance and allowing God to meet their needs.
I enjoy quality conversations with the residents, especially when there is genuine concern and/or connection.
I love knowing that the residents do still want to really LIVE and have and make choices. They want free will and a reason to keep co-creating.
I really appreciate that most of the residents want to stay healthy and they are beginning to understand that is more than just avoiding disease.
I understand that like me they sometimes have mixed desires that seem to cause conflict, but I know it is possible for us all to allow God to find the solution for our “both” moments.
I love seeing their smiles and really appreciate that they come out in larger numbers to see me when I’m there.
I love the residents and I am very glad that they love me too.
I know they want to find the balance where they still enjoy the end of their life with a better knowing they are safe. I know they would rather be joyful than afraid.
I know we all know how to reach for better and that they want to. They will find a way to soothe themselves and return to enjoying life. They will find their quality of life again.
I appreciate they are wanting to find a way back to joy and enjoyment.
“H” will bake for others again.
Happy hours will return soon.
Bingo and church will find a way to resume safely.
“P” will garden and kibitz like always.
“B” will stir discussions as usual.
“J” will lead Bible study and help everyone soothe their frayed nerves.
“M” will light up the lobby with her smiles and chat with everyone that is willing.
I love knowing I am wanted and respected.
New residents will finally be able to meet their neighbors and make friends.
I extremely appreciate that we all now have a new understanding and appreciation for the freedoms we had 3 months ago.
I love that people are coming together to protect our freedoms.
I love that there are many voices of reason that are finally being acknowledged.
I love that people are now grasping a better understanding of what really helps maintain health and knowing that we need reasons to live to stay healthy, virus or not.
I am grateful that even within my residents there were those that were not afraid and wanted to stay as active as possible.
“N” went for drives every day.
Some kept appointments even though it meant staying in their rooms otherwise.
“G” went for walks and drives depending on the day.
“S” went for runs, and an 86 year old running is to be congratulated every day!!!
Many enjoyed patio time, even when the building was instructed to remove patio furniture.
Several elected to stay with family during this time.
I am grateful that those with more overall health concerns had family or paid caregivers to look after them and help them maintain their buoyancy and keep them from declining too fast. There was someone for them that cared about their overall well being and made sure the whole picture was accounted for. I wished everyone had had that.
I am grateful that everyone was safe, staff did become extra cautious with sanitization efforts, and those that needed healthcare did have access to what was needed.
I am grateful that the only lives lost were those that were already headed to their final days.
I am grateful that there will be more efforts at reversing or slowing the decline of those that suffered from the inactivity.
Also, positive aspect of other points in my life:
I enjoy working with those focused on living and enjoying life.
I enjoy knowing that there are many people focused on true health and that my efforts are on the right track.
I like sharing information on things that promote genuine health.
I like finding common ground with those around me.
I am super appreciative that there are enough people focused on better that the world is beginning to turn around, especially enough that we may have avoided a collective co-creation of something worse.
I am grateful that acute traumas and diseases are treatable and that even when dis-ease causes a problem there are medical tools to help people regain health.
I look forward to a day when medicine finds better solutions for non-acute disease in the same way.
I am grateful that I made it through all of this mess with minimal inconveniences.
I realized today, after being reminded my contract check was available, that I have managed to find a stable vibration of feeling fairly financially secure. I’m no longer so worried about finances that I find myself impatient for payday. I look forward to even more financial improvement.
I’m grateful that this disease was not as bad as projected. It was a very powerful learning tool for the future. Perhaps we will learn how to sustainably control disease easier so that future new diseases are no more bothersome than our yearly flu season. I hope we also learn from this and figure out testing and preemeptive actions much more quickly, to act before half the population already had it and got well.
I enjoy taking about cool new things that are being discovered and developed, conversations about leading edge thought and adventures.
I enjoy seeing my kids having fun and smiling.
I love spending time loving on my family, even/especially my furry four legged ones.
I have greatly enjoyed working on my wiggly becoming beautiful garden.
I love sunshine and sunny weather.
I love feeling safe and secure.
I love feeling supported.
I love being appreciated.
I love me and acknowledge more and more often decisions are made because I love myself enough to honor myself and I deserve the easier less painful route.
I am grateful that I love myself enough to take care of myself and improve my body because I know it is God’s temple.
I love feeling better and better.
I love feeling ease and feeling healthy.
I am grateful I have the intelligence, strength, perseverance, and divine connection to inspired thought to fix my own health.
I love knowing that I have a unique perspective that is grounded. As one of my favorite residents put it: “you are a sensitive soul, but grounded enough to see how things fit, we’ll miss you if you leave”.
I love that I love, even when it didn’t work out the way I wanted.
I love music, singing, playing piano, even just listening to it.
I love art, it lets me easily create beauty to add to this wonderful world.
I love mother nature, without our planet we would all die. I enjoy camping and hiking, and just even sitting listening to birds chirp ans thé wind blow.
I love flowers and all the pretty things that this world produces. I look forward to my garden blooming and wish I had enough money and space for some of every flower. That would be so beautiful.
Even though the squirrels and rabbits keep eating my plants I still think they are cute and I’m glad they exist. I like watching them when they aren’t eating my garden.
I love sitting on my porch swing watching kids and birds and pets play and frolic in beautiful weather.
I love experiencing all the wonderful parts of our world and look forward to many more wonderful adventures in my life.
I love knowing I am having a positive impact on the world and that my thoughts, words and deeds have a ripple effect that helps people I don’t even know.
I appreciate that my human-ness is perfectly wonderful to God, flaws and all.
I am glad that my good moments now outweigh my past no so good moments.
I am grateful that I am able to honor myself more and more, that I see more strengths than weaknesses, that I am seeing improvement in many ways, that I am becoming a better person.
May you have rampages of appreciation. May you see your own value enough to honor yourself. May you find enjoyment in life, more often than not. May you love yourself and the universe. May you love mother nature and find ways to appreciate and support our connection with the Earth. May you find your moments of joy and your love of others. May you see all the positives and ignore all of the negatives. May you feel and foster your connection to the divine. “May the force be with you.”
Siva Hir Su
I’ll leave you with some pictures of my beautiful gardens and family.