Tag Archives: be informed

I refuse.

I went off on my older house-call lady this afternoon and walked out afterwards saying I wouldn’t charge her, but I wouldn’t be back either.

First see here for a link to a blog from a while ago, but on a topic I’ve had too many discussions over in my adult life: women must have done something to attract rape (this is beyond victim energetics, which often starts very young because of an abuser in early childhood).

Here’s the problem, most rapes are carried out by men. The physicality of anatomy and physiology means that it is very difficult for a woman to truly rape a man the way that men regularly rape women. For the power-based forced-sex to happen, a woman literally has to drug a man to make sure he is incapacitated and still erect. So most female rape perps are age based, older woman has sex with a teenager type thing. We still see that as wrong and deserving of punishment, but does anyone ever blame the boy that is taken advantage of- NO!

Yet we regularly defend men in a rape allegation, as the woman must have done something to invite it. WRONG!!!!!!!!

How about instead of allowing men to keep perpetuating their shitty behaviour, maybe us women should just start going around slicing off peni and testicles. We could put them on ice and have test tube babies that never get damaged by inappropriate behavior from men. I doubt anyone would say that ‘maybe the man wore too tight of pants’, or that they are to blame because ‘they stayed out to late’.

Yet, if we women started a revenge rampage by slicking dicks off, you’d bet your last dollar that shit would change quick. Not only would the men never get accused of inviting such hideous crimes, but the search for the perps would be hard and fast.

So I ask you, why is rape against women not held to the same standard?

This week I’ve heard our front desk lady get called doll and missy. If I had been working the front desk I’m not sure what I would have done. It’s inappropriate to slap a paying customer, but that is what I would like to have done. She is a grown woman, not some little missy to talk down to. She is a grown woman not a doll for a toddler to play with. Get your fucking act together and treat us with respect damn it. How many decades do your wives, mothers, daughters, nieces, and aunts have to be battered, beaten, talked down to, taken advantage of, and treated as less than. Your fucking penis wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a woman.

The men that are good men should be sticking up for women more loudly, and sometimes that means pull your head out of your ass and do the right thing. It means vote slime-balls out of office. It means vote for stricter punishment. It means turn someone into authorities when you know they did something wrong. It means protect women when you could walk away. It means correcting other men’s demeaning behaviors. And for God’s sake it means never, ever accuse a woman of anything when she has said someone raped or molested her.

And that brings me around to my old lady. She was all Trump supporting nonsense, and I tried to politely correct her. When she proceeded to argue and dig in, I lost it.

I went off on how Trump is a womanizing ass-hat with cronies that are even worse. I pointed out that he was recorded saying he had the right to grab a woman by the pussy. It was played on live television over and over again. I told her: “how did that not register in your brain anywhere, how can you let that slide for any reason”. It should have never happened, our children should have never been exposed to those words used in that way, let alone repeatedly on the news. I said “as a woman with a vagina how can you think a human that says words like that is even acceptable, let alone worth having as the leader of our country”. I explained that even if she ignored all of his other failures, that statements like that should be enough to say no.

It is simply not okay. Women are worth more than that, and no woman should ever be grabbed by her pussy, especially someone using it as a power play. How anyone in their right mind can accept a man that says horrible things like that is beyond me. And I simply can’t tolerate it anymore.

I’m half tempted to put a sign on my office saying Trump supporters not welcome, and willingly deal with the backlash.

If you as a man think you respect women, then you need to look at your behaviors. Do you let other men talk like that to women? Do you call women sweetie, or honey and they aren’t your spouse? Do you stop men when they are disrespectful to women? If Trump said he would grab your wife or sister or daughter or mother by the pussy, would you re-elect him?

This behavior must stop. NOW!!!!!

This is one woman that has to much respect for my own gender to continue to tolerate any of that behavior, and I’m seriously feeling a slice and dice rampage right at the moment.

If you can not respect that women have taken that abuse, and held down jobs, and given birth the the new generations, and raised their families, and kept homes in order, then you need not live any longer.

My own father was that womanizer. Calling women ugly, fat, looking at us like objects for his approval or disapproval, having extramarital affairs without consent of his wife, my mother. I remember when mom found out about the one. As an adult I learned mom knew for certain about 2, but suspected 2 more. See the problem with an affair is you disrespect your spouse by not giving them the respect of choice, you disrespect your spouse by lieing and hiding the secrets and it causes emotional damage because your spouse internalizes that they must be less than, or did something wrong. All the while it was your hiding, secrecy, and lies that were wrong. But that wasn’t good enough, every shopping outing was judgement of complete strangers. How they dressed, what they wore, how they did their hair, whether they met your definition of beautiful or not. Scrutiny of skin color and ethnicity. It was all there and all atrocious behavior.

It made us all hate him for his bad behavior, but no one told him directly. My mother only told him the one time that she knew he was having an affair, and said it better stop or there would be consequences. He stopped just long enough that she quit watching. None of us children were able to say anything, too young and the damage was already done. And not a single other person told him what he was doing was wrong that he was talking poorly of people and mistreating both his wife and his mistresses.

That is why I am so adamant for polyamory where everyone knows and is openly accepting and loving, where kids are safe and taught that love and respect is more important than quantity or rules. Where behaviors are kept in check and always respectful of the entire family. Where children learn how to respect women, especially their mothers, and mothers are supported by extra hands on deck which automatically teaches children not only that women deserve respect, but what the mechanics of respect look like. And no one deserves to be called pet names. Use their real fucking name for God’s sake, unless they request otherwise.

I’m done renting for now.

May you see the respect you deserve. May you know your are loved. May all women be treated with love and respect and given the rights and retribution they deserve. May women be supported and slime-balls ass-hats die (or at least not be re-elected). May women know they have their power back and God’s supports us.

Siva Hir Su

Finding support through clarity.

This evening I found myself stiff from one too many days without yoga. I proceeded to fix that while mentally running through things I knew were in my vortex. It was providing relief in several ways.

Now I sit much more relaxed and significantly more flexible, and struck with a sense of I may have effed up, but that it’s because I feel another also did.

In my cycling through my vortex one of my thoughts was that I really deserve recognition of all the things I know, voluntarily learned, and regularly do for others. I’m just tired of feeling like the lowly pee-on.

I have aspirations and dreams, and soon I might actually be able to buy into, or just outright buy a business that is larger scale than my self-employment scheme. Yet no one out in the world sees or acknowledges how much I do, have done, and how hard it was for me to even get this far.

I just wish I had a congratulations once in a while. I don’t even have acknowledgement of my retention rate or that I average a 20-22% tip rate, last month I made nearly $1000 in tips (credit and cash combined), and my actual in-office massages netted $3200. That’s a 30% tip rate. That’s amazing. Yet no one noticed, at least that was acknowledged.

This was with all the odds in my life journey stacked against me.

I grew up in a poverty-mindset laden home, with an abusive father, yet I worked my way through college, graduating in 4 years with honors. I took 2 semesters of heavy class loads one at 18 credit hours and one at 24 credit hours, having to request special permission from the dean to do so. It enabled me to graduate on time. And what no one cared about was that I accomplished it while working overtime at my job at Motherhood Maternity because the assistant manager was caught drinking on the job and sent to rehab while the store manager was on maternity leave. So me and one other staff person kept the store open and running while I was taking a double load at collegiate level. Yet my grades never suffered, only my sleep.

On top of that fact, I graduated in 4 years with honors from a big 10 university after having transferred schools twice due to financial dilemmas, something that at the time was rare to find accomplished.

I worked 2 years using my degree in a graphic design position, not making the income that I needed, even with continuing to work a driving job I started in college. The two jobs combined were still not enough income for life with student loans from only 2 of my 4 years of school. I decided I needed to shift to a career with better chances, but without spending too much more on my already costly education. The massage program won because it also enabled me to help people.

So I had 2 degrees, a massage therapist certification, work experience in 3 very different fields, and I thought for certain things would improve. I began to navigate becoming a massage therapist. I also married Nathan and began helping him navigate divorce, child visitation, and all the related problems. We moved (twice, on no budget) to attempt to improve things again. Then Nathan’s health failed.

I supported a family on my own for a decade and still managed to drop thousands on a failed mobile home remodel and thousands more on vehicles wear and tear from a 90 min daily commute.

After all of that, I released some of my work, to accept my massage therapists’ job upon her retirement knowing that there was a possibility all her clients would hate me and schedule elsewhere. I’ve lost my buildings to being Covid casualties. I had to forfeit insurance switching to the clinic, and currently pay out of pocket to attempt to fix my own health. I have battled thyroid and life-fail induced depression for 20 years.

Yet, I gave birth to two healthy kids at home in water. I have survived Covid financially and that is even with now having both a mortgage and car payment. I now have a majority of all of the clinic clients because one therapist never came back and the other keeps pissing his clients off. I have also gained many new clients that had never been to the clinic before, and my retention rate is through the roof. And during all of this I have lost 2 dress sizes in clothing (regardless of the stupid scale not budging), and I have healed my body in many ways, one being that I no longer fight depression constantly.

Yet no one acknowledges any of that, that is except my Nathan.

So then after all of that I remembered getting pissed over the chiropractor and his new signs that made sure he was recognized, while the rest of us were the fine print to ignore.

My awareness this evening brought knowing it was because he wanted acknowledgement for his efforts and his hard work. For all I know his educational journey was just as challenging and I know it was more costly. But I also have an awareness that his family has always been prosperous, and his previous career was too. It’s not that I don’t think he had challenges, it’s just that his challenges seem fewer and definitely not of financial nature. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe his cards were just as stacked as mine, but he doesn’t talk about any of it, so how am I to know.

So now I have a keen sense that I still want honored and recognized, but I don’t want that to be at anyone else’s being unrecognized. I want us all to be acknowledged for our efforts equally.

See here’s the thing, we all have had a journey. If you’ve made it this far into adulthood, you’ve done a lot. The longer that you live the more you do and learn and accomplish.

But some us do seem to have the hard road, and it would be nice if those on the easier path could see that and just give some sentiment of congrats for making it through. It doesn’t make their path any less to acknowledge someone on the hard journey made huge strides, but it does help those battling all the odds want to keep fighting the good fight.

I just want people to be more aware of how their actions can be hurtful and if it wasn’t on purpose, then that is what apologies are for. If you are genuine an apology goes miles.

As for me, at this point if I say certain things I could get fired, I’ve already been warned of that because of a prior language/communication fail. Beyond that I can’t really talk about my goals of buying [or into] a business, because I am still waiting on my unique situation to fully resolve and become details I can actually work with. Until I know the full details and have sorted some things out, it’s just hopeful speculation.

So for now, I’m just going to quietly keep learning and doing, and do my best not to step on anyone’s toes or fail to recognize other’s efforts. I don’t need or want to put anyone else down, I just want to feel like I matter and people know everything I’ve gone through to get where I am. I just want a little recognition and honor… Like Rodney Dangerfield would say, “can’t a guy get a little respect here?!”

May you see your own worth even when others don’t. May you honor and respect everyone’s journey. May you see those that have made it through harder journies than you. May you lift others up and find ways to bolster their efforts. May you see that those around you care and respect your abilities and knowledge. May you have evidence of your worth. May things generally go well for you and my your journey get easier daily. May you have the success you seek, not just financially but emotionally as well. May you know that God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su

Smells fishy.

Hopefully my last post on Covid19. Please do watch this Minnesota news report, it overlaps with much of what I have tried to convey, but from a senatorial doctor.

Watch “Bombshell by Dr. Scott Jensen on CV” on YouTube


https://youtu.be/bQsuqp0jA30

Additionally, I might add: why has no one significant (government agencies, AMA, etc) discussed how to deal with symptoms properly. Especially since we are now trying to keep Covid19 people out of hospitals. I know that several KC area hospitals have mandated to stay home unless symptoms are severe enough to warrant admittance to the hospital.

Dr. Oz apparently has discovered the medication for RA and Lupus inflammation keeps the virus at bay, as no-one on the medication has been sick enough to even be tested for the virus. So there is likely a correlation between the kind of allergic inflammation of RA and how the disease presents. I know for my own journey, when I have a flare up like that I rely on a dose of every OTC allergy medicine (Zyrtec, Allegra, and Benedryl, even Claratin combined) plus Advil-clear. So would my at home solution/alternative to RA medication also work for this virus? Only a doctor could determine that for sure, but someone has to try it to determine if it does.

Chris Cuomo on CNN discussed how he literally just had to willpower through anything uncomfortable and then he cleared it fine. His description made me think of how computer viruses work. Attack the weak spot and make you want to give up. I couldn’t help but have a Matrix moment, but also find a parallel to how I fix things in massage- bear the pain, work through the difficult, and it gets better.

However, supposedly beyond high fever, the major complication factor is excess mucous causing difficulty breathing. That is the same complication as many flu strains, most pneumonia strains, and asthma. Why is no-one (governing bodies, medical officials) offering the OTC early solutions to prevent and reduce or even potentially avoid the worst symptoms?

As in: we know Tylenol helps with fever, for this virus you may need to take X# milligrams every Y# hours because it is extra severe. Or: we know Mucinex cuts mucous, you may need to take as much as X# pills every Y# hours to handle the severity. Or: we know that Albuterol nebulizers help counteract any causes of difficulty breathing, so instructing people to purchase those supplies for someone at first sign of illness could prevent someone from even needing to seek further treatment (nebulizers and tubing have to be purchased from medical supply sources, but the only prescription needed is for the Albuterol refills themselves), especially since a machine can be shared by multiple people as long as each person uses their own mouthpiece. It’s the main factor as to why I’ve never been concerned about me or my family catching it. I, being an asthmatic, have a nebulizer and several mouthpieces, extra tubing and plenty of the Albuterol refills. Though if my whole family did get sick it would eventually deplete my supplies.

I know that any dosage recommendations would need a disclaimer “for adults only, consult a physician for pediatric situations”, but it would help most Americans that actually get sick. They have done things like that in the past when other diseases or flu strains were extra problematic. Why not now?

It bothers me that they are having doctors label ANY (even remotely possible cases) regardless of proof, as Covid19. That will sorely skew data. I explained to Nathan that there has always been a prioritizing of disease in cause of death, but this is different. Normally, if someone has asthma, and has lived with it for years and suddenly gets pneumonia and dies, the cause of death is labeled as pneumonia, because they had lived with chronic asthma. Simply put, they can’t label one death with multiple causes. So, even if a bout of asthma flare-ups led to the pneumonia, the pneumonia was what actually caused the death and it gets the blame. The way they are handling covid19 is a bit more extreme and causes too many assumptions not requiring positive test results. That gets scary.

Regardless, I’ve known all along that multi-directional fear factor was being utilized. Everyone in power, down to most of our news sources are utilizing your fear to control the masses. If it bleeds it leads. It’s yet another case of “target of opportunity”. They found a way to scare us into our homes and bring most of society to a halt. To what end? What did this round of opportunity allow governments to do? I noticed some financial sector changes and the government cashing in on small businesses by offering crisis loans, even some EPA regulations were eliminated. But those are minor in the grand scheme of things. What was the big thing that was slid right past our noses because of the fear distraction (like the way the Patriot act was passed)? Only time will tell what was done, and I hope that it isn’t worse than the damn disease, or that it can be reversed when we do find out about it.

May you know and understand this situation enough to overcome fears. May you be confident in your ability remain healthy, or regain health if you do get sick. May you trust your connection to the divine and find a way to make the voice of reason be heard. May you know and understand how to manage the symptoms if you do get sick. May you know, understand, and utilize proper sustainable means of sanitization and disease control. May you know that diseases will always exist and the best way to avoid them is to ease into health on a daily basis. May you know and feel that you are loved, supported, and protected by the divine.

Spread the light and love of the divine, foresake fear.

Siva Hir Su

I’ll leave you with images of a small sampling of my education on viruses (being I had 4 biology/science classes [2 collegiate] that also covered it plus a CEU class). Note on page 387 it talks about the wide time frame of when the virus is communicable, it references the peak of transmission usually being day 4, and it is widely known and accepted that sometimes you don’t show symptoms for much of that period. It is not until your body is overwhelmed by the virus that symptoms become severe.