Tag Archives: be informed

Everyone finally cares.

I have been focusing very intently to pull up lately, and have had to resort to various herbal aids. So this will be the first of several posts that were inspired in that process. This was the result of the lower vibrations, feeling some futility and anger. Subsequently as my vibration climbed I thought of other topics to write about. I started each topic as the thought occurred, so I’ll get them done and up as quickly as I’m able to.

My thyroid is bouncing all over despite taking my Armour doses. My blood sugars are uncontrollable and inflammation is rampant, despite doing all the things that used to work. I have been doing EVERYTHING right, and I’m taking all of my supplements plus several new ones, especially for the sugar battle. I’m still strictly AIP, and mostly seaweed and celery, I’ve even managed to cut back on frequency of lapses/oopses. I’ve had a super-humanly-clean 6 months. Additionally, I don’t feel very stressed, so it all points to my body’s still, or again, trying to fight something, or several somethings, off.

I suspect it’s a combination of that chronic Epstein-Barr-Virus battle (undiagnosed for 20+ years) and Covid. I’m not active Covid, but ever since catching mystery virus (testing wasn’t available here when I was told I had an unknown virus), I’ve had more trouble in general this past 12 months.

It doesn’t help that my awareness includes Covid living casualties.

One of my clients is what is being deemed a Long-Hauler, being he tests negative but still has multiple symptoms that are nagging him almost two months later. Some of his symptoms overlap with my thyroid woes and the extra anomalies I have faced this year. I also have an acquaintance/friend that has reported similar long-term problems from her known Covid case.

Beyond that my whole family is struggling long-term with spaciness, sluggishness, and brain fog. My son who faired the worst with mystery virus infection, has now begun having more significant lapses. Essentially, he has been having functional blackouts. One almost caused him harm. He was caught by Nathan entering our neighbors backyard in socked feet with their dogs barking at him. He didn’t realize where he was or how he had gotten there. It’s very disheartening and concerning.

Chronic viral infections wasn’t a concern on anyone’s radar until Covid, and I still have no idea why.

Even for AIDS and Hep B we have expensive cocktails to manage symptoms and reduce viral load, but no true fix. And I’ve been saying the entire Covid journey, that it boggled my mind how people were so upset about a new disease when we’ve done nothing for existing viral diseases. I’ve said the entire time that vaccines only pretend to protect people from some diseases. Between vaccine fails of a wide variety, and the fact that a vaccine is impossible to produce until much after a disease has already begun to spread, they simply don’t truly protect us. Also, there are numerous diseases that vaccines have never been created for, Epstein-Barr being just one, and bonus we now know it is very hazardous long-term for many.

I am beginning to think that Covid is the new Epstein-Barr. I shudder to think how many people will endure long-term woes for years before true solutions are developed, especially since western medicine is still full of greedy bastards enjoying making money off of our fears and symptoms. As long as the system allows them to make so much money off of treating symptoms alone, they will have no incentive to create real lasting solutions.

When we can solve computer viruses better than human viruses, there’s a major problem. See the incentive there was we had begun to rely on our computers for everything, and if they had gone down we’d all have been screwed. Even computer manufacturers relied on their own devices, and would have been mamed if solutions for electronic viruses had not been developed.

Yet, after approximately 100 years of study on biological viri, we still have no real true permanent solution for human viruses, which means there is no incentive for pharma to solve it.

Perhaps if Covid is really behaving like Epstein-Barr, then maybe everyone will begin to understand that it is imperative to find a kill switch for viral infections. I would have thought AIDS and Hep B would have done that, but apparently not enough people caught those diseases.

Or maybe it’s not the quantity of people, but who. Maybe it needs to become an issue for all of the elite, all of the CEOs and upper management of pharma. Maybe then we’ll actually see change and real solutions.

We need real treatment(s) to help find actual health and kill chronic disease. It’s not a new problem, but perhaps enough people, or the right people, will finally get it and work towards finding the real solutions.

Finally, I want to add my two cents on progress vs failure. Western medicine will finally produce more true healing options for all diseases, or it will fail. People have begun to distrust doctors to do their jobs, clinics to help when they don’t feel right/well, and pharma to make anything that actually works permanently. Western medicine knows they’re loosing too many. People no longer trust them to do what’s right. The masses have begun to notice the greed machine pasting temporary bandages on symptoms, knowing the bandage will only last so long before it will need replaced by the next best option.

People now know their options are limited. I myself have come to the point that if all I’m doing is managing symptoms, what does it matter if it’s herbs or prescription drugs. Either way it’s not going to fix anything and I might as well give in completely, at least that way I can enjoy what life I do have. The manage symptoms game is not only futile, requiring constant adjustments, it’s ultimately it’s a shit ton of work to get nowhere and thus pointless.

Anyway, if there are any other long term major failures, then Western Medicine will have lost trust with too many people. People will simply start walking away from the expensive useless symptom management game. Allopathic medicine is balancing on a ledge that could easily lead to systemic bankruptcy. The only way for the system to be salvaged is for the parts to work as a whole and actually produce long-term solutions beyond symptom management. But that’s just my observation.


For now I choose to focus on the positives. I focus on the fact that my physical size is smaller. My skin is shrinking, so even though it still sags from weight loss, it’s no where near as floppy as when I initially lost weight. I no longer have allergy bumps in odd places. I no longer have the red ruddy cheeks I grew up with. My muscles are stronger than ever, and in many ways my visible appearance is improving significantly. I still have beautiful soft hair, and my thyroid is managed well enough that I’m no longer loosing my hair. I can handle full time massage therapy work with a manageable amount of discomfort. In general I usually feel better than in my past. I’m able to workout most days and that helps me feel even better. In fact, I’ve exercised all but 6 of the last 30 days. I am doing EVERYTHING right, and that has to count for something, so I’ll ignore what’s not in alignment yet, with the assumption that it’ll get there eventually, one way or another.

May you have better luck and more trust in Western Medicine than I do. May you find, and be able to afford, options that can solve your problems for real. May you have reachable, life affirming, choices within reach. May you know you are healthy in every way possible. May you know you have many days left to live and have all the reasons to keep living. May you know that your love and magic can conquer all. May you know that more than anything, God loves and supports you in all that you do, and regardless of your ability to get your body in full vibrational alignment.

Om Shanti

4:47

That was the time I woke this morning.

I’m still awake. Someone’s in my head, at least it feels that way.

I woke originally with thoughts of futility about people in my life. I keep getting those stupid message notifications for videos and music. All of them implying I should be apologizing for leaving people hanging. Yet, I’m the one that begged for them not to do that to me. I’m the one getting left hanging. I’m the one that begged for honesty, caring and compassion (& love) from them. I’m the one that helped them as much as I could until their old habits and lies took care of the problem. I did what I could, and results for everyone in my life were because of things I couldn’t control, mostly on their end of the equation.

Yet, it wasn’t just the futility of those people. Now I’m stuck on the futility of western medicine, and life.

My health journey has hit a point of needing the low income clinic again. The ass P.A. I went to wasted my money, so to even get my thyroid meds refilled I need to go back to KC Care. My appointment is tomorrow afternoon.

But I don’t even give a shit anymore. They’ll be able to refill my script, but not much else, even if they wanted to.

Doctors that could do more, don’t.

Everything hangs on vaccines that have 1% to 3% risk rates. That’s everything from “I had a bad allergic reaction”, to people like the lady I knew that dropped to the floor getting vaccines for a vacation and is now a quadrapalegic and never got her vacation, to people that die from them. But they’re our savior- NOT!

Nevermind that we have a new virus that millions have already caught. Those millions are either experiencing repeat infections, or like Epstein-Barr VirusĀ  it just hangs out waiting for an opportunity to flare and reinfect. I’m betting it is the latter. In which case the vaccine will save no one at all.

And we still have NO solution for any viral disease after you’ve caught it. None, nada, zip, zilch. Several hang out in your body for years, doing varying degrees of damage and destruction. But nothing is acceptable to doctors/allopathic-medicine as a reliable way to eradicate chronic viral infections.

The best option is oxygenation therapy. Essentially a peroxide solution in IV-therapy bags. Less than $20 in true costs (plastic, peroxide, distilled water), but IF you can find a doctor that will actually do it, you’ll pay $2000-$3000. And there’s no guarantee it will kill everything in one go. It usually does, but it really depends on your body mass, how much damage you have, and how deeply hidden virus particles might be. So there are some people that need two or three rounds before they are free and clear and able to heal properly.

And me personally. I’ve spent 7 years learning how you squelch depression and manage my thyroid, to have this year’s viral battles, both with Covid and EBV, make it a nearly impossible ongoing issue.

At this point my body hurts frequently. The last few months my liver and pancreas seem to have periods of struggle where I feel them swollen and inflamed and sometimes it outright hurts. I’m in the midst of one such period now. My upper abdomen is painful to touch and aches just sitting still. My sugars won’t come back down unless I fast, and I spend more of my days not eating than consuming anything. When I do eat, 75% of the time it’s seaweed and celery with a smear of peanut butter. The other 25% of the time is meals Nathan fixes for dinner, and 90% of those are AIP friendly.

I’m doing everything in my power correctly and it’s no use. It’s not fixing things like it used to.

I blame Covid, but have no proof I even had it, because testing wasn’t available when I was originally sick, and by the time the antibody test was available it was past the 3-week window of accuracy. So at this point, I could retest when I have one of my anomalous moments like the dizziness or abdominal pain, but I would be risking spending resources to maybe get inaccurate results, since testing still seems to be quite questionable, regardless of which one you’re taking about. It seems that for accurate results it’s down to a two out of 3 type situation, having known several people need to do just that to figure out if they were really sick or not. The ‘I’m actually sick’ test is finally now available at certain locations for free, but the antibody test will still run $150 per test.

Why bother?

It’s not something I care to waste money on knowing there’s no real solution anyways. Even if I did show positive for Covid or the Covid antibodies, there’s still no solution I can even attempt to afford. Even if I had several thousand dollars to try the oxygenation therapy, there’s only 3 docs in the KC metro that offer it. Who knows how long it’d take to get in. Even if I did, it’s not a guarantee it’d reset me to normal and healing.

It’s definitely feeling like futility and “why bother”.

Too bad Dr. Oz or Dr. Fauchi can’t actually create change on this matter. Our medical system will never change. There are too many greedy-old-white-men controlling that system to create any real change anytime soon. They would all have to catch a chronic disease that started to eat their bodies, for anyone to care about medicine being truly for healing and not making money. Unless they all face what me and others are going through, they just won’t care.

Futility.

May you have a, full night’s sleep, a better day and less feelings of futility. May you know that somehow God will make this right.

Siva Hir Su and Om Shanti

I refuse.

I went off on my older house-call lady this afternoon and walked out afterwards saying I wouldn’t charge her, but I wouldn’t be back either.

First see here for a link to a blog from a while ago, but on a topic I’ve had too many discussions over in my adult life: women must have done something to attract rape (this is beyond victim energetics, which often starts very young because of an abuser in early childhood).

Here’s the problem, most rapes are carried out by men. The physicality of anatomy and physiology means that it is very difficult for a woman to truly rape a man the way that men regularly rape women. For the power-based forced-sex to happen, a woman literally has to drug a man to make sure he is incapacitated and still erect. So most female rape perps are age based, older woman has sex with a teenager type thing. We still see that as wrong and deserving of punishment, but does anyone ever blame the boy that is taken advantage of- NO!

Yet we regularly defend men in a rape allegation, as the woman must have done something to invite it. WRONG!!!!!!!!

How about instead of allowing men to keep perpetuating their shitty behaviour, maybe us women should just start going around slicing off peni and testicles. We could put them on ice and have test tube babies that never get damaged by inappropriate behavior from men. I doubt anyone would say that ‘maybe the man wore too tight of pants’, or that they are to blame because ‘they stayed out to late’.

Yet, if we women started a revenge rampage by slicking dicks off, you’d bet your last dollar that shit would change quick. Not only would the men never get accused of inviting such hideous crimes, but the search for the perps would be hard and fast.

So I ask you, why is rape against women not held to the same standard?

This week I’ve heard our front desk lady get called doll and missy. If I had been working the front desk I’m not sure what I would have done. It’s inappropriate to slap a paying customer, but that is what I would like to have done. She is a grown woman, not some little missy to talk down to. She is a grown woman not a doll for a toddler to play with. Get your fucking act together and treat us with respect damn it. How many decades do your wives, mothers, daughters, nieces, and aunts have to be battered, beaten, talked down to, taken advantage of, and treated as less than. Your fucking penis wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a woman.

The men that are good men should be sticking up for women more loudly, and sometimes that means pull your head out of your ass and do the right thing. It means vote slime-balls out of office. It means vote for stricter punishment. It means turn someone into authorities when you know they did something wrong. It means protect women when you could walk away. It means correcting other men’s demeaning behaviors. And for God’s sake it means never, ever accuse a woman of anything when she has said someone raped or molested her.

And that brings me around to my old lady. She was all Trump supporting nonsense, and I tried to politely correct her. When she proceeded to argue and dig in, I lost it.

I went off on how Trump is a womanizing ass-hat with cronies that are even worse. I pointed out that he was recorded saying he had the right to grab a woman by the pussy. It was played on live television over and over again. I told her: “how did that not register in your brain anywhere, how can you let that slide for any reason”. It should have never happened, our children should have never been exposed to those words used in that way, let alone repeatedly on the news. I said “as a woman with a vagina how can you think a human that says words like that is even acceptable, let alone worth having as the leader of our country”. I explained that even if she ignored all of his other failures, that statements like that should be enough to say no.

It is simply not okay. Women are worth more than that, and no woman should ever be grabbed by her pussy, especially someone using it as a power play. How anyone in their right mind can accept a man that says horrible things like that is beyond me. And I simply can’t tolerate it anymore.

I’m half tempted to put a sign on my office saying Trump supporters not welcome, and willingly deal with the backlash.

If you as a man think you respect women, then you need to look at your behaviors. Do you let other men talk like that to women? Do you call women sweetie, or honey and they aren’t your spouse? Do you stop men when they are disrespectful to women? If Trump said he would grab your wife or sister or daughter or mother by the pussy, would you re-elect him?

This behavior must stop. NOW!!!!!

This is one woman that has to much respect for my own gender to continue to tolerate any of that behavior, and I’m seriously feeling a slice and dice rampage right at the moment.

If you can not respect that women have taken that abuse, and held down jobs, and given birth the the new generations, and raised their families, and kept homes in order, then you need not live any longer.

My own father was that womanizer. Calling women ugly, fat, looking at us like objects for his approval or disapproval, having extramarital affairs without consent of his wife, my mother. I remember when mom found out about the one. As an adult I learned mom knew for certain about 2, but suspected 2 more. See the problem with an affair is you disrespect your spouse by not giving them the respect of choice, you disrespect your spouse by lieing and hiding the secrets and it causes emotional damage because your spouse internalizes that they must be less than, or did something wrong. All the while it was your hiding, secrecy, and lies that were wrong. But that wasn’t good enough, every shopping outing was judgement of complete strangers. How they dressed, what they wore, how they did their hair, whether they met your definition of beautiful or not. Scrutiny of skin color and ethnicity. It was all there and all atrocious behavior.

It made us all hate him for his bad behavior, but no one told him directly. My mother only told him the one time that she knew he was having an affair, and said it better stop or there would be consequences. He stopped just long enough that she quit watching. None of us children were able to say anything, too young and the damage was already done. And not a single other person told him what he was doing was wrong that he was talking poorly of people and mistreating both his wife and his mistresses.

That is why I am so adamant for polyamory where everyone knows and is openly accepting and loving, where kids are safe and taught that love and respect is more important than quantity or rules. Where behaviors are kept in check and always respectful of the entire family. Where children learn how to respect women, especially their mothers, and mothers are supported by extra hands on deck which automatically teaches children not only that women deserve respect, but what the mechanics of respect look like. And no one deserves to be called pet names. Use their real fucking name for God’s sake, unless they request otherwise.

I’m done renting for now.

May you see the respect you deserve. May you know your are loved. May all women be treated with love and respect and given the rights and retribution they deserve. May women be supported and slime-balls ass-hats die (or at least not be re-elected). May women know they have their power back and God’s supports us.

Siva Hir Su