Tag Archives: be reasonable

Keeping my word: update 2

*image sourced from Pexels library, is not Atutmn*

My visit with Autumn in the hospital was very good and very needed. She is a beautiful woman that has been hurt many times in her life, and in horrible atrocious ways. I think more than anything that is her biggest hurdle to being well.

I took her a $15 orchid from Hy-Vee (midwestern grocery chain). She cried because they were beautiful and unexpected.

She cried several times, because she explained that she honestly had a wary reaction to our offer to help, along the lines of: ‘what do they want from me’.

It took me explaining my journey with mental health caused by thyroid disease (which I now know probably has it’s root cause in a chronic viral infection) and how much I have had to go through and deal with and figure out on my own. I explained that when I begged God to help me pull up and fix everything, that I had promised to return the favor to others, and she was simply my first encounter to fit the bill.

I also explained to her that for both mine and Nathan’s hospital stays 8 and 10 years ago, there was no one that helped us navigate those times. I simply said “everyone needs someone sometimes, and Nathan and I didn’t have that someone when we needed it, so when I realized she didn’t have anyone, I was determined to be there for her”. She cried again.

We connected on similar childhood journeys and the battle with depression, including many of the symptoms that leave a person feeling crazy and like no one understands. She was amazed when to her comment of “sometimes the world seems so flat and two dimensional”, my response was “like everything looks like cardboard cutouts, like paper dolls”. I explained that I now know that is a symptom of brain swelling combined with exhaustion, your brain literally compresses your view into a more easily processed flattened image, it helps conserve energy and enables processing when the physical structure of the brain is literally under pressure. I told her my last bout of that was when the virus flared 3 weeks ago, and it made driving home very difficult. She cried again, and I cried too.

She was so relieved that someone really truly understood what she was going through. That she wasn’t alone and that there was hope. I told her I’m not perfect, I still have bad days and fall downs, but I will take my occasional fails over the constant struggle of years and years past. I reassured her it isn’t the easiest fix, and can be really hard to maintain, but is totally worth it. She wanted to live to try, and that is huge.

She has had a much harder adult life than I have and that led to some of her current woes. The infection itself started when a drug dealer abducted her and forceably shaved her with a dirty razor. That was the precipitating event that was ended with a police standoff and her being admitted to hospital care. That was one of many horrendous stories she shared with me and Nathan. My heart goes out to her, no one ever deserves to be treated like that.

Regardless, I promised her that I knew several things we could try if she made it out of the hospital. Things that would help with her depression and possibly other health concerns that have been sidelined by trauma and the MRSA infection. Even some techniques that combined with her psychiatric care might help release some of the traumas’ damage. I will not replace the pros, merely supplement.

I also told her if I had known about her job loss, I could have helped with that too, but now we’ll have to wait for her to get better. See, like me she was working with an elderly woman doing home health. Where I go and come from several people, she had one lady that she worked with all the time and that lady had passed away causing her to lose her source of income. I told her that I am connected to the elder care network in this city so well, that if I had known I could have found her work quickly. She cried more.

She was simply overwhelmed that Nathan and I are so willing to help her in what seems to her as huge ways. She said “To think I went to a cafe so many years ago to read a book to escape my father’s abuse.” I told her “I know, sometimes you never know when you meet someone as to what it will mean later”.

Please do keep sending prayers. I may have given her just enough of a nudge of encouragement for her to pull through, but only time and God will tell.


On another note, a friend of ours from college, living in Iowa, is going through a rough journey as well. He could also use prayers. He has more of a support network, but he has small children like me and as you’ll see below and equally scary prognosis as Autumn.

These are challenging times, and the virus of the news is really the least of the problems. The news still wants you to think it is the worst, but I really don’t think it is. I keep reminding people that if someone has health problems slowly taking their lives and corona polishes them off, then corona gets the sole blame. I will not be one bit surprised if at the end of the year, the heart disease, cancer, and other death stats are far lower than they typically trend. It’s how they are padding numbers to make the stats scary.

Beyond that, we are experiencing a global shift and the survivors will be the ones that take care of themselves, but also help humanity find oneness and healing.

If you get stuck in fear, anger, or divisiveness it will likely cause you much more immediate problems. The more time you spend in negative thought patterns, the more likely you will suffer and may not survive. I know this is my biggest challenge, but it really is for everyone, especially with the external input we have available at this time.

You must honor yourself and your needs as much as you are able. You must quiet the mind as much as you are able. You must look for your inner being as much as you are able. And when all else fails look for the flowers or cute kids or adorable animals to distract yourself and find moments of positivity. It is difficult, and I too struggle to do so at times, but coming together and aiming for positive solutions is the main solution for everything.

I half want to write a post expounding on why medicine is scared over this or any virus (the lack of post-contraction treatment beyond symptom relief); but I halfway don’t, because it would cause me to focus on things that piss me off and which I have no solution for personally. I want medicine to solve the problem, but acknowledge there are mechanisms far beyond my control preventing the corporate desire to want the ability to cure chronic viral infections.

I know focusing on that topic for too long would be detrimental to me. I may still work on that post a little at a time. It needs pointed out and expounded on, but if I am to do that I will have to do so in manageable ways that help maintain my own energetically-sovereign-self. We shall eventually see if I can do it or not.

May you find ways to maintain your energetically-sovereign-self and stay buoyant in these challenging times. May you take care of yourself enough to survive the shift. May you see ways to help others do the same. May we all reach for oneness and helping humanity progress for the better. May you see the value of acceptance of others and oneness, and thus enable humanity to improve and survive the shift as a collective. If you are certain it is your time to go, and none of this is possible for you, then may you have the easiest quickest gentlest transition possible. May we all know that God loves and supports all of us and wants all of humanity to grow in positive ways. May you see that God really wants us to genuinely care about those around us, regardless of blood ties or any other superficial ties. May you share the light that helps us all get through our days just a bit easier.

Siva Hir Su

Call for a sanity gathering.

I would love for everyone to take a chill pill, because the world as it is right now is so crazy it’s causing suffering for all, but as Nathan pointed out that is not my responsibility. I cannot change another’s choices or experience. I cannot expect people to rise above fear because there will always be those that choose to live in fear- and then die more quickly because of it.

So, I personally call for those sane people that wish to LIVE life fully to gather together and support each other. I know we’ll catch flack from the fear mongerers for doing so, but I believe it is worth the risk.

I simply can’t stand living in a world where people are so afraid of everything: their shadow, touching others, being too close to others, so afraid of a disease that they forget the millions they survived, that humanity has survived. They forget that every thing that is, can be, or has been touched has germs- remember salmonella salald. They forget that even things that you don’t touch can have germs- the last lysteria outbreak was because of a ventilation system on a building. You simply can not prevent disease, you can only control how you respond to it. Prep your body to kick ass.

“Death is the one game you can’t loose, everybody wins eventually.” ~ Sadhguru

If I want that particular win to be in the distant future, then I have to choose to win at life first.

Living life involves going, doing, touching, being in this world. Connecting with people means sharing, caring, kindness, expressions of all of that involve touch. That is a world that I feel loved and supported in, and I’m okay with the risks, I generally feel safe in that world.

The idea of being responsible for another’s illness is also quite ludicrous. The life cycle of a virus (really any disease) means that at some point we all have unknowingly spread a disease, it’s impossible not to, and many of us are carriers that never get sick, our immune system is too strong to even show symptoms. Yet, those that came in contact with a virus and do get sick have weaker immune systems. It is not my responsibility to fix your immune system, I’m busy being concerned about my own. Just as it is not my responsibility to stay home because you are afraid of getting sick. If you are afraid, you stay home.

We are all responsible for our own wellness, and regular good hygiene is a key factor in that, it doesn’t take a pandemic for me to practice good hygiene. Beyond good hygiene, there are many, many things that have been proven in repeated studies to help your immune system, which I am always happy to share my knowledge of, but it is still your responsibility to utilize that knowledge. Vitamin C (orange juice), Vitamin D, multivitamins/multiminerals, lavender, colloidal silver, grapefruit seed extract, olive leaf. There are many other things that are believed to help but have less evidence: homeopathic medicines, oregano, turkey tail/mushroom belnds, even vaccines.

Yes, vaccines have very little data individually to prove their efficacy. At this point vaccines are widely accepted enough that they follow a formula in creating them and don’t usually test much, especially if they are trying to rush a vaccine as they are with this covid19 virus. I would be surprised if they test the covid19 vaccine at all. In fact vaccines are the only medical procedure/drug that is exempt from thorough testing procedures.

And quarantines are not this stupidity we have going. My own mom was quarantined as a child for Scarlett Fever. A real quarantine is the infected individuals are sequestered and limited to necessary care by a strict few individuals that take proper extra precautions. The rest of society is allowed to function normally. My mom lived through Scarlett Fever, and worked as a licensed practical nurse for decades. This was her response on Facebook (Nathan took the screenshot for me, still not being on FB myself):

So take responsibility for yourself. Figure out how to help your body heal itself. Keep your fears to yourself and allow society to regain balance and functionality. I’m not speaking from overconfidence, I am speaking from rational reasonable knowledge and I am not alone. We did not do this for SARS with a 15% death rate, we did not do this for West Nile, or Zikka, or bird flu, or swine flu. Even Ebola, with  50% death rate, which turned the Congo into a giant concentration camp, is still present and infecting people. There is no evidence to support the necessity of this level of response for this disease. Be reasonable, be responsible for the elements that are yours and let go of what others are doing.

So I am going to continue living life. I am going to continue going, doing, touching, being in this world. I am going to keep connecting with people which means sharing, caring, and kindness. I’m going to continue to do my job as a licensed massage therapist, and being a caring, kind human, which all involve touching. I am going to keep living even with the risks, but that is life itself. Life is risky, but the benefit comes in taking risks. I will let others be alive and ultra safe in their electronic boxes full of fear. I am going to heal my body fully as God intended and I am going to enjoy my life as much as I can. My brain no longer gets to tell me otherwise, I will reach for joy even in the toughest times.

This week I worked some, said a prayer for one of my old ladies that died from a stroke on Monday, did a fair amount of art, hugged and kissed and cuddled with my husband, kids, and cats. I snapped at a few people over the crazy and got pissed off over taxes, but then I pulled up and assembled our trampoline for my kids to play on. I even played amateur plumber to my son’s cardboard antics with one of the toilets- lots of germs there. Did I get sick? NO! Because I know how to clean up after myself and practice good hygiene. You should too.

So, may you have good enough hygiene to really live life and know you are generally safe. May you know that no one wants to get sick, but it’s not the end of the world. Even if it’s your time to go, it just means transition to non-physical, the world and humanity will continue to exist. May you know that there are far worse things in reality than Covid19. May you know that regular life is worth living and worth the risk. May you overcome fears and enjoy your days here. May you be loved, supported and know you are blessed. May you feel the light of God and choose better, choose enjoyment and joy. May you help shed light on the darkness and help everyone know their safeness.

Siva Hir Su

Overreacting is not solved by more overreacting.

See previous posts, wrote 2 in the last week on this mess. Listen to this song too. BTW all red text in my posts is external links to related data.

Death is inevitable, you can not avoid it when it is your time to go. There are millions of causes of death, and even the flu supposedly kills 3% of those that catch it. Every so often, whether it be “survival of the fittest” or “God’s plan”, regardless of what you call it, something happens worldwide that kills many people. There have been natural disasters (earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, hurricanes, F5 tornadoes), planes flying into buildings, wars, The Holocaust, The Soviet Famine (Holocaust senior), bombs, car accidents, train accidents, and many many diseases. If it’s your time, it’s your time. If it’s not, then being sick for a week or two isn’t the end of the world.

And suffering is all self-contrived to begin with. I can’t count the number of old people I have worked with that hold on for no apparent reason even when their body has shut down and it hurts more to be alive than to let go. I always end up having “the conversation” where I essentially ask them why are they holding on. Regardless of their excuse, if they can even speak, inevitably that conversation seems to be the permission to let go and they always let go and let themselves exit the misery. It was their choice all along.

Additionally, what goes around comes around with suffering. I find it interesting that one of my 94 year olds told me over the phone: “They won’t let you come give me my massage, they won’t even let my kids in…. I worked on a kids polio unit all those many years ago. My unit was in the basement of the hospital in rural Iowa. Kids were dieing of polio and their parents had to stand outside of tiny basement windows to try and see their kids. The kids would cry for their parents. Now I know how they felt.” Polio killed many people, but not everyone. I have a dozen people that I know over the age of 80 that survived polio. Two lost use of their legs, others look fine but have residual leg problems, others had no lasting effects. All of them have lived generally good happy lives.

So far, numbers that I have seen and heard do not make this virus any worse than previous pandemics. Yet the world has gone insane.

Keeping people home and unemployed does not prevent the spread of the disease altogether, as should be obvious by now, yet somehow more and more government agencies seem to think it’s helping and are following suit. More of our society lives in whole families than live alone. So just because Bob couldn’t go to work and Bob’s kids had to stay home from school, doesn’t mean his wife got out of work, and many families live with extended relatives: aunt’s, uncles, grandparents, etc. So 80% of your family is sequestered but 20% comes into contact with the rest of society doing their job. They catch it and bring it home to the people that were forced to stay home, little good that sequestering process did. Someone proposed that we require staff to stay at their jobs. For how long, and where, would you make people sleep at their desks, and has anyone thought of the strain that would put on families and small children missing their parents?

This idea that we’ll just shut everything down to slow the spread is rediculous and unsustainable. It may be effective at slowing the disease, but it draws out suffering for everyone.

Everyone that loses income or employment, stuffers hardship attempting to pay bills. It puts our healthy children behind in their education and contributes to illiteracy. It’s puts mental strain on everyone because of cabin-fever and the loss of the benefits of proper socialization (which I learned is a major key element to fighting clinical depression). It will literally drive people crazy with anxiety, worry, and stress. That chemical storm in the human body will make everyone more susceptible to every disease, even ones their immune system has already fought off at some point. This is all already documented, well accepted, verifiable information.

It is unsustainable. We already have multiple diseases yearly. If everything shuts down every time a virus spreads, we’d be shut down more than functional. Last year alone I watched two stains of the flu, 1 stain of pneumonia, and CDIFF spread through my work environments, to be followed by this covid19. If we had shut down for all of them: banks would not get paid for mortgages and loans, businesses would close, homes would be lost, unemployment and homelessness would skyrocket. This is not a sustainable solution.

Just because there is more technology that enables more people to work from home, does not mean we can sustain society on that alone. Trash/recycling would still need collected and processed, grocery stores would still need to function, drug stores would still be vital, hospitals/nursing centers would still need to function, chiropractors/acupuncturists/massage therapists are as vital as ever as they help lower stress levels. I can think of dozens of things that computers simply cannot replace.

I know that everyone thinks that AI is the great saviour that will solve all of this. We can have robots make the products. Robots package the products. Robots deliver the products. Robots could even eventually replace trash trucks. But would you want to eat a meal cooked by robots? And, how much of society can be replaced by robots before you run out of work for qualified citizens? There’s only so many positions that can be employed from a home computer. We always have had a portion of society that was unskiled menial labor; even if one hypothesizes that we could eliminate the jobs with Robots, you can’t eliminate the portion of humans that filled those roles. There is no way to ensure all of humanity is educated enough to carry out highly skilled positions. Would you start assassinating healthy upstanding citizens merely because their job was replace by a robot and they were not skilled enough to work from a computer?

I for one have seen the movies like Gataca, AI, etc. They were bad ideas in the movies and I don’t want to live in that world. That is what is trying to happen here. I don’t want to live in a world like this.

I want to live in the world of sanity, where people value each other and understand illness as part of life. Where we love each other and care for each other even when a new disease is spreading. Where we work on ourselves to overcome fears, worries, and anxiety so that we can stay as healthy as our bodies and God intended. I want to live in the world that takes normal, sustainable measures to slow the spread of diseases. I want to live in a world where the divinity of our amazing immune system is honored. I want to live in a world where people in power have half a brain and can step back and say: “ok, this crossed the line, we need to pull back a bit.” Where those in control use logic and reason and make positive forward-moving decisions based in practical reality. I want to live in a world where media channels fall and the contrived Hysteria comes to an end. I want to live in a world that mitigates the news to truly necessary informational updates and returns to only being informed occasionally as scheduled, not 24/7. The inundation is what breeds Hysteria. I want to live in a world where entertainment tells the good story, tells the good what if, tells of good things to look forward to. I want to live in a world where superheroes are the politicians and law enforcement officers that bring calm, sane, reassurance. I want to live in a world where people focus on living a happy life knowing they could die anytime from anything. I want those things for myself mostly, but for everyone. I am being selfish in these thoughts, but in a way that includes humanity as a whole. I want everyone to do that. Being selfish does not have to equal harming others or bringing humanity down. We are all in this together, bring the love and the light and lift each other up. Supporting each other helps us all get through life better. Supporting each other helps your own life feel better.

Here’s a question, with all the shut downs, what’s happened to soup kitchens? What’s going on with homeless shelters? Churches have shut down, how are food banks functioning? In fear of “I might get sick” we’re hurting ourselves all over the place in literally thousands of other ways. How is that okay?

May we all come to our senses. May we all make peace with the possibility of death and the minimal suffering of a nasty cold. May we see that what doesn’t kill us really does make us stronger. May we all see our general health. May we know our immune systems are God given kick ass virus destroying superheroes. May we love ourselves and be selfishly helpful of society as a whole. May we all have joyous happy lives full of healthy days of positive socialization and friendships. May we all earn a living doing things we love regardless of their ability to work from home on a computer. May we all be able to exist freely and happily day to day for our entire lives.

Many blessings to everyone, you’ll make it through this one way or another. It’ll all be okay. It is okay. We can return to normal if everyone makes it known that is preferred.

World peace begins with inner peace. ~ Dalai Lama

Siva Hir Su