Tag Archives: be respectful

Pretend Memory Lane

Nathan and I went to see the movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” as our Christmas/Yule present to each other. It was my choice over Star Wars or Little Women.

Until my sinuses fully drain the pressure of them bumping up against the explosions of an action movie like Star Wars would be too much for my head. I will enjoy Star Wars much more when my sinuses are clear. Little Women just didn’t peak my interest, though since making our choice someone did say Little Women is an excellent movie as well, so perhaps another time.

Anyway, our choice movie was excellent and reminded me of many elements of my childhood. I was an avid watcher of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood when I was a kid. There were moments in my childhood, and really life as a whole, that watching this movie triggered in my memory lane.

Because of that, I decided that my children, especially my little Ian, needed to watch the show of my youth (even though I know he likes the new cartoon version). Maybe it would help to teach them how to manage emotions, since I still struggle to do so.

I found reruns on Amazon Prime and began watching them with the kids. We skipped over the black and white volume and started on volume 2 which were early color episodes. Mind you this is the most screen time I’ve had in ages.

The movie in the theatre had moments that left me in tears. The show had moments that left me simply in awe and wonder.

The second or third episode we watched, showed custom built electric cars from the 60’s. Nathan and I were both like: “Then why the hell did it take so long to actually get affordable electric cars?” With all the intelligent people in this world it is simply amazing to me that it took so many decades to get affordable, widely available, electric vehicles.

Anyway, the feeling I am struck with most is that my adult life and all my grand dreams seem to be a compilation of certain elements of my childhood. I’m partly in awe of the major delayed reaction, dreams yet to do anything but take up space in my mind, but also a feeling of wondering if there’s any hope for my children manifesting better. I was struck by a sense that maybe Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers might have also had the same feeling.

I’ve already written many times, about negatives in my current experience that are the result of watching my parents as child, and how I struggle to break patterns learned before I even began school. Yet, I have also discussed before, that many of my good qualities I owe to early learning, more absorbing, of parents behaviors.

Now, I find that after this new re-awareness of Mr Rogers, I have more elements surfacing. I couldn’t help but acknowledge that my 2 stuffies sitting on a shelf today is because of Mr Rogers. I also couldn’t help but acknowledge that my dreams of Atira hold quite a few qualities that Mr Rogers Pretend Neighborhood hold. Things as simple as: my acknowledgement that none of us are perfect, and we all get mad sometimes, are owed to Mr Rogers.

Mr Rogers has had a profound impact on my life, and the movie was helpful to me because it showed me how much the real man behind it all worked so diligently to manage his own self. It was somehow reassuring that my efforts to do the same may someday help others as well.

Yet, I am in awe how my dreams of Atira are slightly more updated versions of ideals that Mr Rogers reached for. He really wanted to make positive changes in this world, and now there are two generations of children that watched his show, all grown up and striving like mad to help pay it forward in real ways.

What was the missing element that would have helped us millions of idealistic dreamers create in reality what his Pretend Neighborhood taught us to cherish?

I don’t know if there is an answer. I do know the world is a better place because of Fred Rogers. I still have hope that I might find a way to create my Atira, if not in the highest ideal version found in my dreams, perhaps in some secondary level of approximation. I hope there are many more like me, out there striving to bring the love and acceptance of Fred Rogers into being in this world along with all his other ideals such as vegetarian diets and electric cars. Mr Rogers was a special gift to this world, may his legacy always be remembered.

https://images.app.goo.gl/6DV4WdmRAdEe7Aef8

I like you just as you are.

May you feel special, may you feel loved and accepted just as you are. May your ideals find a way to manifest in this world. May your Pretend Memory Lane lead you toward a grand life and a better world. May you see good things in your life and your experience. May you feel understood by others. May you feel supported and understand the ripple of your actions. May you be forgiving of yourself and your loved ones when they have humanly imperfect moments. May you easily find the special moments in life with those in your family and neighborhood.

Many Blessings, Siva Hir Su

Listen to: Until Heaven Stops the Rain by Wax Tailor

Inner conflict despite iE

Despite my learning moments of the previous post, I’m feeling huge contrast in myself right now which I’m struggling to gain control of: be fully and completely supportive of a good friend and keep my mouth shut, or risk hurting them by voicing my observations and opinions of the cosmetic procedure industry and how it probably relates to someone they know.

I’m likely to be in a situation in the nearer future where a friend would be introducing someone they know. Normally, I’m like cool, a new person to meet. In this situation, despite my best efforts, I’ve already made judgements about the person because of their chosen line of work.

On the surface we’re both in the same genre of work, being “healthcare” related (admittedly for both of us that’s a stretch in different ways). However, their chosen branch goes against pretty much everything I care about.

The particulars I’m not at liberty to discuss, but let’s just say their current position probably pays well, but involves getting a paycheck as a result of taking money from people naive enough to think that an “easy” medical procedure can solve their self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth issues.

I have always distrusted cosmetic procedures because they are short sighted, and that was before I went to massage school, and well before they created several television shows over the addictive nature and risks of cosmetic surgeries.

I have seen many times over where people went in and suffered far worse than was implied going in. I’ve also known many people that went in for things that were supposed to fix X and either didn’t completely fix X, or caused problem Y. One of my best friends went under the knife to have breast reduction for back pain, and it left her with horrible scars, no sensitivity, and her back pain was not completely solved, then she gained weight overall and her breasts literally grew back part of the way. I’ve seen people go in to reduce post pregnancy loose skin and have repeat surgeries to correct scarring. I have worked on hundreds of people that went under the knife and then had lasting problems for decades, which they attempted to remediate with frequent massages.

Now add to that the new “gentle cosmetics” of kryotherapy and various laser treatments for fat, skin, and hair. None of these new procedures have been practiced long enough to know if they will cause any longer term concerns such as hair follicle regrowth defects, fat cell overgrowth, or heaven forbid cancer.

To me kryotherapy seems at best an expensive temporary solution, and at worst something that could lead to oversized deformed fat cells because people unwilling to change their diet will have bodies with fewer cells trying to manage just as large of a problem.

Cosmetic surgeries and procedures are called cosmetic because they don’t actually treat the root cause.

I don’t understand how anyone with self-respect could willingly do a job day-in and day-out for years, knowing not only are they not actually truly solving any problem, but likely contributing to addictive behaviours. Beyond that, I don’t understand how anyone can justify capitalizing monetarily off of another person’s self-esteem problems. I’ve seen too much evidence that those that enjoy working in such an industry either have self-esteem issues themselves and thus enjoy reaping the benefit of greatly reduced costs of utilizing services repeatedly, or really enjoy taking other people’s money for little effort. The former is sad to me, and the latter makes me say “really, there’s other more ethical ways to accommodate that”.

I may not have a perfect body, and I have not solved my health puzzle completely. However, I’ve gotten further on my own, than Western Medicine ever even tried to. If I had followed doctor’s advice I’d be like my one (nearly 400 pound) brother, over 300 pounds and popping pills left and right to continue to get worse and worse, fatter and fatter.

My God given body has full ability to heal and be as beautiful as I desire once I figure out the precise combination of things that God intended it to experience. I’m very close to figuring out that puzzle and with no help from any doctor, or nurse, or cosmetic anything or anyone.

That’s why I don’t wear makeup or shave. God gave me this gift and I was the one that misused it leading to excess fat and ill health. I am the only one that can change to allow for my body to return to it’s full splendor.

No one forced food down my throat. I’m the one that made those choices. I’m the one that cleaned my plate because Dad said so, even when I knew I was full. I’m the one that allowed society, friends, and family to dictate what was acceptable food, instead of listening to my inner voice. I’m the one that kept gorging on sweet baked goods, allowing my brain to become addicted, instead of reminding myself I didn’t need it. I’m the one that allowed other’s telling me I was fat, or stupid, or ugly to take hold on my brain. I’m the only one that allowed those experiences to affect my brain and body, and I’m the only one that can fix it. I’m the only one that can find real lasting solutions and align with God. Western Medicine can do blood work to help tell me what is off, but only I can make the changes to myself to help correct it. Only I can align with proper nutrition and the divine energy that heals everything.

In that acknowledgment I have to also acknowledge that every bit of my body is as God intended. If God didn’t want for me to have body hair, it would have been exempted from my genetics, I have worked on people that naturally had little to no body hair. I can’t find fault with things built into my genetics and still find the healing I seek- finding fault with any part of yourself only keeps you apart from the energy that created your self to begin with. Only by acknowledging the divine perfection of my body can I help align it to it’s original manufacture.

So, I’m in a conundrum of wanting to be supportive of a friend and thus accepting of someone they find value in. Yet, I’m struggling to find that value, because my only knowing of them is the one thing that goes against my core beliefs and causes me to doubt their character.

I’m totally over superficiality, and to me the cosmetic industry has caused an epidemic of superficial people.

This is one conundrum I’m not sure if I can wrap my brain around. I want to be supportive because I do care about my friend. I may just end up being very quiet when I finally meet this other person. Alas, that will be on the friend’s terms because I’m still not texting until I have something to respond to. I’m not the only one that knows how to use technology to communicate.

May you have an easier time finding value in others even when you don’t agree on things. May you build strong friendships. May you experience God in your life and know your own value. May you have a deeper understanding of yourself and others, and a truly deep experience of life in general.

Siva Hir Su