Tag Archives: be unique

Finding me AGAIN.

Today I walked for my errands and even further. I needed the fresh air, the movement, and the break fromy usual 3D experience.

About 3,000 steps in I found myself savouring the breeze which was just right in strength. I savored the temperature which also was nearly perfect for me. I savored the fact that the rain had subsided. I was really enjoying those elements and said to myself “The only way this could get better is more sun and like 50% more blue sky. I really love blue skies and sunshine. I’m definitely a sun worshipper because sunshine helps me feel ME.”

By about 5,000 steps in I found myself with this view:

I couldn’t help but try to fit what I saw into the image. In front of me was a nearly perfect cloud to blue-sky Yin-Yang. It’s a symbol I’m very familiar with having gravitated to Eastern philosophy at an early age and then learning the basics of Traditional Chinese Medicine as part of my massage education.

It is a geometric pattern that symbolizes universal balance, and how darkness converts to light at it’s darkest point, and vice versa. Yet at the same time, one is never present without the other, the darkest moments have a spot of light and the lightest moments can show a dark side too. It was awe inspiring.

I was immensely aware of what my simple request had manifested in my 3D experience, and that it had done so in record timing for me.

I proceeded to relish every moment of sunshine and utilize the amazingly good cloud day. I milked it for all I could. I stopped several times to bask in sunshine for long moments.

I was listening to MC Yogi through one earbud so that I could also hear birds chirping and have an awareness of the space around me. One song came on in the midst of a pause in sunshine: “Dancing in the Sun” (listen here).

I began walking again because of the lyrics stirring a desire to move. As I walked under a tree, the song stopped. I came out from under the tree and took several steps before realizing the song had stopped. I looked up to see the sun had also stopped, a cloud was blocking it. I laughed and put the song back on and decided to dance the sun back out. I’m pretty sure the jogger and the other lady walking in the park thought I was crazy, but after about half of the song gracing my ‘dance’ the sun decided to come back out and join me again. It was divine happiness.

I was feeling so good that I started taking pictures and looking at cloud shapes. Several times I saw a heart in the clouds and tried to catch it. … Was I successful?:

This morning’s walk was definitely a big leap towards righting my path. It felt so good, helped both my mind and my mood, and bonus I have 7603 steps by 11am.

May you have excellent creation moments. May you easily find yourself always, but especially when you need it most. May you feel balance and have an acceptance of the concepts represented by Yin-Yang. May you know everything is truly okay and the moment is now. May your now moment be filled with strong awareness, you are here and now to have the experience, enjoy as much of it as possible. Above all may you know you are loved and supported in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Burried Hatchets

FYI, anyone that actually reads this- kudos to you!!!

About 2.5 months ago I was solicited to purchase my domain with the China extension. I refused because I have yet to make anything off of this blog, and have such low readership that what I already pay for domain and hosting is hardly worth it. I couldn’t justify the cost of adding another extension. Even though they tried to convince me, I still refused because even though I am an American, I’m far from rich. The cost benefit scale was rediculously out of balance for me as an individual.

Anyway, since then, even if you Google or otherwise search my name or the blog itself it now falls fairly low on search results. Under my name, it falls even lower than images from a flicker account that is older than our teenager. Not only have I lost many of my regular readers, but I’m not even getting the sparatic views from all over the world. My blog has literally gone silent as far as any stats are concerned, which means I’m not even clearing any algorithms. So of my posts, approximately the last 40 have been largely unread by anyone, that takes you back to the New Year.

I point this out because it feels vendictive to me. I already fell so low on algorithms that there would have been literally thousands, if not millions, of blogs with much higher value, and thus much more likely to buy additional extensions. I myself have read many blogs with 10 times my readership and followers. So it boggled my mind as to why anyone would bother with mine. I have done nothing to anyone, and do my best to hide names and personal information about anyone I write about. The only identities I even slightly compromise are my own family, and even when I’m frustrated or upset I do my best to vent from a ‘harm none’ standpoint. So, with the low value scale for someone fishing to make money, and my low readership, and my efforts to be authentic yet still protect others, I’m simply dumbfounded. Perhaps it is someone with nothing better to do in their lives except crazy making for random strangers, and some stupid keyword was how I became their target. I don’t know.

I’m not in IT, do not have the skills to fix it, and really don’t have the resources to pay someone else to do so. Nathan has said he is going to try, and I’m going to reach out to WordPress to see if they are able to fix it.

Until then I suspect I will continue to write to no-one. It’s okay, it’s like when my blog was brand new 6 years ago, I just keep reminding myself that this blog is for me to write about what I want or need to. It is my space to express myself as best as I can. It is my safe space, and if I have no readers, then it is even safer.

If you did somehow actually manage to come across this post and read my blog, it would be nice to know I’m still showing up somewhere. I don’t need the validation, but sometimes it does give a little feel good boost, and I’m appreciative of all feel good boosts- regardless of the source.


Anyway, I really wanted to share my birthday fun with Nathan. The super crappy weather of my birthday week had caused it to be rescheduled, so we ended up going this afternoon.

We went to a place called “Bury the Hatchet” in Overland Park, Kansas. It was good fun, throwing hatchets at giant wooden targets. After a bit of basic instructions, and some practice, we played a round of “Black Jack” (goal to make 21 points) and two rounds of what they called “Area 51” (goal to count backwards from 51 to zero). It was a relatively inexpensive but really fun date outing. I had a blast and Nathan did too.

We knew that using hatchets can be physically taxing from our days cutting wood for heating our home. Yet, even when throwing them for fun it was really quite a bit of a workout. A great new way to exercise. I told Nathan it kinda makes me want to build a target in our backyard- we already have one hatchet and plenty of scrap lumber, I’d only need to buy a second hatchet and they’re about $20. Sounds like a good time to me. We’d just have to make certain that kids couldn’t find or reach hatchets when not in use. Hmmm….. 🤪😆

Here’s the pictures:


May you bury the hatchet in all ways, especially forgiving others when they’ve hurt you or messed with your blog. May you find fun outings to distract you from frustrations and boost your spirits. May you enjoy physical activity of all kinds. May you have plenty of physical activity. May you find that you enjoy life mostly, even and especially when you are writing for yourself. May you have fun adventures with loved ones. And above all, may you know that God loves and supports you no matter what.

Om Shanti

Where’s the magic?

Between watching She-Ra with my kids, and one too many news-feed induced conversations with people in my world, I’m left asking “Where is the magic?”

In the context of my now, the magic is the God force, mystical energies of everything. “All that is, all that was, and all that ever will be.” – Carl Sagan

Magic really always was for me, my mystical everything. As a teen I learned it wasn’t my secret. Allister Crowley defined magic as “The art of creating change in conformity with will.” I have known that definition for over 20 years now. Abraham Hicks, and many others in the thought revolution, discuss this with more straightforward terminology, and Hicks labeled this thought revolution “The Law of Attraction”. The concept is the same, focus and create change merely with thoughts. The law of Attraction may be science from Quantum Science’s perspective, but in the practical experience of reality, it really is magic.

Now watching She-Ra with my kids, my inspiration is renewed.

I see parallels between the Prime Horde and the Borg of Star Treck. They were both concerned with uniformity, conformity, sameness, enough to completely squelch the individual and connect them to hive mind. And I see the parallels in the now.

I don’t generally support conspiracy theories because they are just that: theories. Moreso, they tend to inflate fears that could be completely unfounded. However, I’ve noticed an overarching theme with media and people in general these days.

Two sides of a coin. You’re with us or against us mentality. You’re either conservative and tow that line, or you’re liberal. Both sides arguing the other is wrong, and neither allowing for individuals: unique, special, and allowing for more. Neither showing tolerance for individuality, neither showing appreciation of blended beliefs and preferences. Both sides are being the Horde, and the media today inflates and encourages this mentality.

It’s really very similar to the story line of She-Ra, in that the First Ones and the Horde were in a battle to claim the stake of being right and convincing everyone to follow their sameness. Unfortunately, in that story line, the Horde couldn’t control magic and it became their weakness (ultimately a good thing). The first ones however learned how to marry magic and technology and got greedy for the power gleaned, eventually causing their own demise.

I see the parallels between our division in the world today, and those two fictional factions.

We do have a greedy few that know and understand the Law of Attraction, and they are slowly working on their own demise, they may control their followers now and tell them what to believe, but like First Ones they will eventually fail and loose everything.

Yet there is this other side that just really pushes sameness, supposedly as being safer. They are very similar to the Horde, and our media today only encourages and inflates everything as related to that. I would argue that the medical industry is a large contributor to that side. Alas, just as the Horde could not control magic and ultimately lost, so too will sick-care and industry bent on everyone acting, doing, behaving, in a certain way, to be safe.

I personally want nothing from either side. I am that unique, middle ground, reaching for better.

I know about the magic. Sometimes I could definitely be better at using it, but at least I understand how. Yet, I really want to share it with everyone willing to learn how to use it responsibly. I do feel like She-Ra defending magic, and all uniqueness, as I’m still learning to wield it’s power myself.

She-Ra has inspired me to keep trying, and keep practicing, and keep reaching for better. It has revived my inspiration of Tessering from “Wrinkle in Time”. It has given me visuals to encourage my work as a healer, and the Reiki energy flows stronger and stronger every time I practice the new visuals. Between all of it, the inspiration is definitely launching me towards better.

I know I am getting better at using thought to create change. I’m just not certain that I will ever defeat the Horde(s) as She-Ra was able. I’d love to. I’d love to see a world full of uniqueness, so I’ll keep focusing to give it a fair shot. But either way, I know I will eventually create my Atira. My community at least, will be a safe haven for those of us willing to live in acceptance of the individual and mixed beliefs and preferences. My community will be open and loving and magical without greed. My community will help people to master magic responsibly. I look forward to that day.

For now I am enjoying a little magic using plastic eggs and toy cars. I built a little model as a focus tool. It takes a little imagination, but you can see the founder’s home (big yellow double dome), the temple and community services center (purple cluster), the business complex (blue green L shaped complex), and the community living area (small domes, yellow and purple). The blue blanket is to represent the pond/lake I hope to have at the center of my Atira, with hiking trails all around.

Now I’ll play with my kiddos to enact things that would happen at Atira. That’s the fun part!

May you have fun moments of magic in your life. May you know we are not alone, and that uniqueness is more precious than anything pushed as sameness or safety. May you know that the God force of magic is more healing than any medicine, vaccine, or sick-care treatment. May you know you are healthy and strong and capable of great things. May you know that God loves and supports you no matter what and in all things you do. May you know you are always whole, safe, and loved just as you are.

Om Shanti