Tag Archives: be yourself

Not going anywhere.

Summer's
Oasis
Almost
Complete
Seeded pots
Sprouting
Torches
Lights
Lit
Comfy
Hammocks
Awaiting
Beauty
Given
For
Self
Allowing
Recuperation
Restoration
Easing my
Mind &
Body
Fires
Lit
Calm
Returns
Created
By self
For self
Tended &
Cared for
Selfishly
Hummingbirds'
Decanters
Needing
Frequent
Filling
Plants
Watering
My oasis
Is mine &
Intentions
Reminded
This is
Exactly
What I
Need
Solving
Internal
Turmoil
Calming
Stresses
Relaxing
Allowing
Returning
Flowing
Summer
Time
Sadness
Resolves
Contentment
Reached
Within
Memorials
Found in
Memories
Without
Scattered
Ashes
Pomp or
Circumstance
Here is
Exactly
Where
I need
To BE


~Treasa Cailleach



May you know exactly what you need to do. May you know when to walk away. May you know how to let go. May you let it all just be and find yourself. May your memories be greater than anything anyone else could provide. May you know the only thing you can control is your self and your own needs. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Pictures are of my freshly sprouting container garden and my oasis of bird feeders and fire. The dark nightime perspective, complete with moon shining through tree branches, and Progressive LGBTQ flag. It is my space this evening, and I’ve decided it will be my space every chance possible this summer. I have earned it, I created it. I deserve to enjoy it.

Own Self

Some
Choose
Ignorance
Pretending
It's not
There

Some
Choose
Denial
Pretending
It's something
Elsewhere or
Elsewise

Some
Choose
Isolating
Stuffed
Into
Boxes
Ignored
Indefinitely
Eventually
Causing
Disease
Death

Some
Choose
Desperate
Overwhelmed
Convoluted
Process
Of all
At once
Never to
Finish
Any
1


I
Choose
My own
Processing
1 at a time
As they
Come
Knowing
There are
Many waiting
To Be addressed
Processing as
Each is set
Displayed
In front
Of me
I Know
They're
All there
I also know
They each
Have
A Time
& Space
Their own
Allowing
A cycle
Flowing
Changing
Myself
For
Better
Brighter
1 Manageable
Step at a
Time in
Present
Space
Here
NOW

It is
My
Way
It is
ME
It is
My
Choice
It is
My
Change

I am
Responsible
I am
Owning
Myself
I am
1

~Treasa Cailleach

May you find your way through navigating tough times. May you understand how others choose doesn’t have to dictate your own choices. May you understand the most important choice of all is doing what you need to in any given moment, and always reaching for better in that moment. May you make it through dark days and hard times knowing that the other side brings light and love and eventually everything works out just fine one way or another. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Direction of middle.

Buddhists
Taoists
Suggest
A middle
Path

The spoke
Of a
Wheel
Our source

Our wheel of
Experience
Is the flow
The road
To follow

Just as
Nomads
Travel
Outside
Judgement

So too
Does your
Wheel
Spin past
Judgements

Becoming
Small
Bumps in
The road

Which direction
Is your wheel
Pointed?
How do you
Feel?

If you see
A focus on
Death
Does it make you
Cringe?

If you see
A focus on
Life
Does it make you
Cringe?

The signal
To follow
Your cringe
Or lack thereof

A feeling
Dissonance
Discord
Abrasiveness

Or a feeling
Of harmony
Gentleness
Or satisfaction

If both
Bring discord
You're halfway
There

If both
Bring Harmony
You're nearly
There

If you know
Neither is right
And
Neither is wrong
And
See the discord
And
See the harmony
Of both

Know that
Neither is
Your
Place of
Possibility

Choice for
Middle path
Lies in knowing

Any choice
Could be
Right
Could be
Wrong

Neither
Is possible
Without

You

The observer

The one
Already
Experiencing
Already
Laden with
Belief

The primary
Viewer
Of the play
Of life

Your
Life

You chose
Characters
Story
Journey

You can
Change
Any
Or all

Just
Watch
And enjoy

Or daydream
While the
Story
Plays
Around
You

Ignoring the
Unpleasant
Or boring

Knowing
Every player
Is their own
Wheel
Spinning
Their own
Tale

The wheels
Overlap
On occasion
But theirs
Is theirs

Yours
Is yours

How does your
Wheel
Spin past
Judgements?
How do you
Experience
Your middle?

Can you find
Contentment
In knowing
Both
And choosing
Neither
To remain
Present

If so
You've
Found
Centered
Middle

Now
How long
Can you
Stay?
Can you
Find it
Anytime?
Anywhere?
On any subject?

You're
Already
There

~Treasa Cailleach

I falter on the last 3 questions, enough to know I’m not already there. But I’m somewhere in knowing and nearly there. Who knows maybe I’ll be the first married-with-children monk.

May you see your middle path. May you appreciate discord as a guide. May you understand where you are in relation to everything. May you understand your own role better. May you make choices as an observer not as a character. May you understand no one can ever understand anyone else completely, EVER. May you know the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Daily schedule

The long short

6am
Wake
Shower
Dress
Fix drinks
Snacks
For days work
Parent's Supplements
Breakfast shake
Kids, pets
First meal
Vitamins

7:55am
Pile into
Our only van
Usually 2
Sometimes 4
Occasionally all 5

8:00-8:30
First drop
Immediate need
Based on location
And punch in time
If not Anya
It's me

8:30-8:45
Second drop
If Anya was first
Then this one is me

9:30
Dialysis appointments
Usually
Sometimes another doc
Rarely another commitment

Mid-day:
Varies greatly
When Anya
Starts later
Then it gets really
Interesting
Homeschool
Books, tablets, bickering
Older helps younger
Begrudgingly
Parents wonder
Myriad of thoughts
Pushing on through
Shipt
Deliveries
Other doctors
Labs to have drawn
Grocery shopping
Errands
For me any breaks of work
Become about self care
Or I receive no care
Occasionally kids get
Playground
Fill the van fuel
Pick-ups
Sometimes Anya before me

5-5:30
My last call
For work
My last
Moments of
Calm
Focus

6
Home
Mommy's home
Bark bark
Put work away
Put self in home
Reach for presence
In whirlwind
Dinner
Make it
Then eat
Minecraft stories
Running
Jumping
TV, Netflix, YouTube
Pick your poison
Chaos
Grab a sofa cushion
Hold on till the
Spinning stops
Dishes, done by someone
Bedtime stories by Dad
Laundry sometimes vital
It waited too long
Kids want fire s'mores
I want fire peace
Tonight neither
Had time

7:30-8
Dad
Connect to
Dialysis machine
Mom keep kids busy
Sometimes a bath
For me
Or them
Rarely both
Sometimes futile
Efforts to cuddle
Little bodies
Tired
Always wind up
Not down

9:30-10
Last pick-up
Anya had a closing
Shift
Waited long enough
I dozed off

10:30
Finally
Pajamas
Quiet
Calm
Peace
Too bad I'm
Too tired
To savor
Sleep comes easy

Good night
Sighs of
Relief

Tomorrow
Will be
Just like
Today
Day after day
Infinitely
Unending


No spontaneity
No fun
Kids the only ones
To find laughter
Between their bickering

Still waiting
A solution
Must eventually
Become
Evident

My good:
Smiles
Lunch walk in
Sunshine
Petting
Another pooch
More mellow
Than ours
Pictures of
Shadows
Inspired by
Nathan
Made me think
Of years gone by

When I was 12
I told my parents
No kids
I wanted
Independence
Freedom

They told me
I
Was wrong
I was always
Wrong
Somehow
To someone
And Kids', family
No one rejects that
I was obviously
Just not aware
Enough
To know
What was best
For me

None
Ever granted
My true choice
I quit trying
Followed their
Rules
Their
Recommendations
I gave them
What they
Wanted
For me

That was the last
Broken
Piece
Leading
To misalignment
That years
Decades later
Is now
My unending
Schedule of
Duty


~Treasa Cailleach

May you stay oblivious to the why of how you got where you are. If you can’t stay oblivious, may you find speedy solutions to right your situation. May you never find yourself having given too much of yourself away. May you know you are where you want to be. May love always bear positive fruits and enrich your life. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Simplifying Complexity

Poetry
The best tool
To simplfy
Complexity
Beyond senses

Poetry
Allows
For multiple
Interpretations

One poem
Read
By few
Can translate
Many ways

One poem
Read
By many
Can translate
Infinitely

Prose
Fiction
Or nonfiction
Too simple
Too direct
Too straight
Forward

Poetry
Allows
For all
To experience
Forward
Momentum
In their
Own
Way

I found
My way
To simplfy
Complexity
Beyond
5 senses
Which leaves
Doors
Open
For greater
Interpretations

My poem
My words
For
Readers
Reaching
For better
For more

~Treasa Cailleach

May you find your way to express yourself. May interpretations always find the best and highest good for all. May you sense your message within the message. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti