Tag Archives: blessings

Better than that.

As one of my friends said “If pregnancy is God’s will, then we better take Viagra away too, because so is that limp dick.”

It fit with my prior writings, and was quite hilarious, so I wanted to share, but this post is genuinely aimed at better.

May that which my brain senses as God and his will, die and be cleansed from my being, because I deserve better than the torment and torture it has led to in my life. I deserve my freedom from what my brain labeled as God, regardless of its true source/cause.

May my children experience the same release and freedom, because right now I regret having had them, and I wish I didn’t. I know my children are better than that which I experience, and I know that they are suffering just as I am, and I feel the cause is beyond my control. If I had known this would be the result, I would never have given birth to begin with. So, we all deserve better, we all deserve healing freedom from the darkness, from that which we were taught was God’s will.

May society be freed from God’s will also. There are millions arguing for their own demise, their own burdens, their own torture, because they have been lied to too many times. Allow them all to be free from the burdens and lies of this darkness we all learned to call God’s will.

May everyone see that bearing children is not requisite for life on this planet, regardless as to whether a few stupid people attempt to make us. May you know you are always in control of your own body, and that birthing anything or anyone is your own choice, which starts in the mind. If unwanted, all one must do is push it out of the mind and starve it of anything it needs to grow. Own your own choices fully, even when it is terminating a thought, desire, intention, or conception. You can always decide, regardless of external influences, and where there is will, there is always a way.

As amusing, and financially lucrative, as it would be to start restaurants like “Chips in Dale’s” or “Schlong’s Deli”, especially next to every “Hooters” in the nation, may we never actually see that day. May we all find balance and bring the maddness to an end.

May there never be a child born unwanted, severely damaged, or poisoned with recreational drugs. May there never be a mother killed in childbirth only because her unborn baby was seen as more valuable. May everyone understand their choices and beliefs are their own and they have no right to enforce anything on anyone else.

May those intent on keeping guns intended for killing (especially humans), see they are no different than a doctor choosing between the life of an unborn child and the living mother. Really no one human has the right to take the life of another, but self-preservation often causes loss of life, be it by scalpel or gun. One is not more offensive than the other, they are both grotesque necessities, which need to be protected for the moments when they are necessary.

May I feel my freedom propelling me beyond limitations learned. May relief be immediately palpable. May life inprove for me and everyone from this day forward. May we all see and understand more clearly moving forward. May balance be restored. May prosperity reign in only glorious and life supporting ways.

May all systems (health, government, business, society) see the failures of our past and use them as brief reminders of what to fix and what solutions we truly need. We’d be of no need to force pregnancies if government and healthcare hadn’t failed at stopping COVID, and the kicker is we still don’t. There are enough people that wish to bear many children that society will again risk becoming too populous in time, anti-abortion or not. Turn-over should never be terminology for old dieing and new being born, let the natural flow guide us forever more.

May those in power and acting as TV’s guiding personalities, see their mistakes and missteps, and how it caused society to distrust them. May they all use that knowledge to better themselves, and do better for the masses moving forward.

May we all feel safe, supported, and know we have our own freedoms to do what is right for us moving forward. May we all know that we belong in this world, may men know and correct their abuses, and may all women know they are worth more than just producing children. May the biological -gender population balance, be fully reflected in rights, wages, careers, and all other aspects affecting humanity. May the balance be evident everywhere.

May the divine goddess be honoured in every woman, and may all women be shown respect in every moment of every day they live. May the goddess ensure that no woman ever be further punished for being a victim of man’s assault, and may the goddess remove men who attack women in any manner as they are damaged beyond earthly healing. Balance be restored.

Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti


War God

Of Fire



For Her
At all

Can be


By those
Of systems

For selves
Or others

Only for

Maya Aguilita
Sun warrior

Of survival
Honest hearts
Will always







To dominate

~Treasa Cailleach

This is again inspiration stemming from a combination of a show watched, a couple of direct experiences, and a suspicion. Read into it what you will.

May you know you are Maya Aguilita and soar with the sun regardless of the path of your life on this Earth. May you fight for right and cling to love knowing it ties humanity to their souls. May you see even the most insurmountable odds are escapable with your soul and your love intact. May you know that evil cannot survive in light and will stay away, and dark places are avoided by those existing in light, yet light can and wil still shine upon darkest corners when needed. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Brain Relations

Anecdotal. Based on 1st and 2nd hand accounts in my experience. Take it with a grain of salt.

I’ve already talked about the cvid attacking whatever weak spot someone had. I’ve also already discussed my theory that it sped up manifestation of vibrational patterns.

An example of both; I’ll use Nathan, even though he’ll hate it (sorry honey). He has a pattern of “trying to” learned in youth, and hard to break (same as my patterns). Louise Hay stated in her book that the energy of trying can be a cause of kidney problems and she listed affirmations to solve it- when she wrote the book in the 80’s. The energetics of trying, eventually leads to kidney disease and Louise noted it decades ago, and figured out how to heal it. Nathan caught cvid and between the energetics he carried and meds he took, kidneys was his weakness. It was the first and most drastic hit of his cvid experience. What would have taken an entire lifetime to readily show dis-ease before, was shortened into less than a year.

I’ve seen the pattern repeatedly in everyone I come in contact with, and in their particular variation. But there’s more.

I’ve now had a couple clients mention “Covid Brain” as now being a noticed thing, awareness of it, but no full diagnosis or treatment. I suggested, at first mention, that it’s because doctors are happy to supply antidepressants, but if cvid actually caused damage to the brain it’s not going to be solved by prozac.

But it got me to thinking, especially with my battle and how it manifests. What if it is even more than that.

Because of cvid, I am now an open conduit to others energies, and have picked up on all my ailing relatives, pretty much every client leaves an energetic trail in my body, and even coworkers are impacting my awareness in big ways. I hold none of them responsible, it is just one way cvid affected me, and something I am actively managing. At the same time, I have a hell of a time kicking out negative thoughts. I’ve mentioned all this before. It has made my daily routine cumbersome in an attempt to keep myself up and afloat. I’ve also mentioned before that one of the ways I solve it, is to kick it out as if it was a person in me. Statements like “you are not me and I deserve better”. For the ailments, statements like “this nausea isn’t mine, get the eff out”. It has worked, so I keep doing it. It’s even worked on a bit of toe fungus that suddenly appeared about a month ago. I had a moment where I simply knew it wasn’t mine, and went with it. I mentally and verbally rejected it and now it’s cleared up on its own.

Then there’s this awareness that people are not-so-gradually losing their minds and behaving in atrocious ways, in public, online, everywhere. There are no filters anymore, and people are not-so-gradually getting more and more ludicrous and rediculous.

It has made me think. My brain does that; I respond by analyzing everything from every angle, especially when attempting to produce solutions.

The human brain is the closest thing to a computer that we have outside of electronics. I am not in IT, but have had more than one device killed by electronic viruses. I was in highschool when the Trojan was deleveloped and was crashing computers left and right. I understand the basics of how most computer viruses work.

And I see a parallel.

Computer viruses attack the weakest point and utilize the system to replicate to their own advantage, disabling the system to do anything else. They use whatever available to encourage not just the process, but replication to other devices.

I’m beginning to think that cvid has done just that, but with the human brain and body.

It infiltrated via whatever was our weak point. Nathan was kidneys; for me was thyroid, immune, and brain function itself.

Then once in, it started churning out negative thoughts to encourage other weaknesses to become noticable. I’m beginning to wonder if Nathan’s kidneys took a minor hit (why it took them so long to diagnose), and then the negative thought loop of the virus caused the ship to sink so to speak, and caused the sudden need for dialysis.

It would also explain, how even though I know I have worked my ass off to fix my health, I’m suddenly susceptible to other’s symptoms and had toenail fungus out of nowhere.

If your brain has really been hijacked and you don’t even know, then how can anything be healed. See the problem is many of our thoughts are nonverbal in nature and many of them control organ and body function.

You don’t think “kidneys please clean out my blood today and remove all the toxins”. Your brain just tells them to do so, and a particular chemical storm enables the process.

Now imagine instead, that the entire process is being controlled by a virus that intends to hoard everything it desires (toxins and nutrients alike), starve your body &/or organs of what is needed, and keep you alive just long enough to spread the virus further.

So now your kidneys are told go into standby function, and you don’t even know it, you weren’t aware anything changed, and it isn’t something you can see the results of immediately.

What then? How you do make a virus controlling your body in a negative manner, stop?

Do everything possible in opposition.

It’s been my plan all along and it is working. People have watched me and noticed my bad days in a variety of ways. They have seen the chaos and worried about me. They have noticed lots of things and not understood what I was attempting to convey. But I’m winning. I’m a winner, and always have been. I’m kicking this one in the ass, it’s just really slow going.


By doing all the things that have always worked for me, regardless of what my brain tries to tell me, or how I feel at the moment.

I kick out every negative thought that I do notice. I take every opportunity to note and abolish anything that I know for certain isn’t mine. I tell my body things about how amazing it is and how it works so splendidly in certain ways (you may have noticed some of this in my poetry of late). I acknowledge that I am practicing all the good healthy habits as much as anyone in my shoes could. I am doing everything right, and I am certain of it because of my years of experience and previous history. I simply know that I am doing an amazing job kicking an insidious beast of a chronic infection in the ass. I label that beast with many different labels based on the context and factors involved, but in every situation I am acknowledging “this thing is toxic, it is lieing to me/my body, get it out, I deserve better”.

Simple and complex simultaneously.

I’ve even talked with Nathan about this quite a bit. He has been reading “Becoming Supernatural” by Dr. Joe Dispensa. It was recommended by one of my clients on a parallel journey, and it had helped her with some action steps, so he has been putting it to action in meditating on growing a new kidney. But I have encouraged him further. I suggested: What if the kidney failure was virus lies? Take self talk into the realm of opposition. AKA: My kidneys were lied to, they work just fine, and all the elements and descriptors that you do know to be true. Fill in the gaps where medicine can’t. I told him to tell himself he is healing and that his kidneys are improving and what that would look like. We discussed the visible signs to watch for, assuming it will work, including bringing up the memory of being over-dialized.

I told him to treat his brain like a computer fighting a virus. Quarantine every noticable instance. Delete contaminated files, and/or restore to prior version. Overwrite thought patterns that allow the virus to flourish.

There is no human antivirus (stupid vaccine did nothing truly helpful). So, we have to individually create our own mental antivirus software, we have to catch every bit of it ourselves. We have to eliminate every instance ourselves and create better every moment. We have to make it obvious to the virus that it isn’t welcome in our brain or body, and do everything it would rather we not do. Make it want to leave.

If you have to take up writing poetry to help yourself focus on that. Then do it. Make art with that goal. Take supplements that help even if your brain contrives nausea. Exercise even when your brain tries to convince you that you’re too tired. Stretch to fix stiffness. Salt baths to help stiff, sore, or bogged down with other’s energies. Eat stupid healthy, even if your brain tries to convince you otherwise. Eliminate stress every way possible. Turn your back on arguments or negatives you can’t control.

Anything and everything needed to nix negatives and replace with positives.

Like NIKE- Just do it.

And don’t expect a miracle… Hope for it if you want, pray for it too, but more just allow yourself the time and space to enable your body to do what it was designed to do. And it does take time.

We were first round- January 2020, and positive Omicron January 2022, with maybe 2 rounds during Delta timeframe (unconfirmed despite avid testing). I’ve watched clients, friends, family, all deal with the aftermath, some in denial but still very obviously in the midst of it. I’ve wrangled my own long-haulers, while navigating for my immediate family, because they all really on me. I’m still not 100% clear, but I’m far enough that I can see the trajectory enough to believe I’m over the hump. Regardless, I can tell by the way I feel and results I’m getting that I’m on the right track. I will win this, and my writing this post is in hope that it will help others. After this post I’ll likely go back to mostly poems.

FYI. One last note. I’m a bit stunned how much of what Abraham Hicks has been teaching for the prior 15 years applies directly to this sentiment. I’m really just rewording their message, but with emphasis on how it applies to fixing the damage and resetting your body to original standards. It’s almost like they knew this was inbound and we needed the mechanics I just described, to fix it. I know I have it down well enough to maintain stasis. Now I just need to move into solid improvement enough to be visible to others.

May you see the process and how to clear the hump. May you clear all the negatives and heal fully. May you understand the fullness of things in your experience and how they might help yourself and others around you. May you know that you can win against this or anything else. May you see the miracle of your body and know anything that isn’t yours doesn’t belong. May you have a clear and relatively easy path to the solution. May you know you can do it. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

My prayer.

I may not stay
One too many hits
One too many energetic battles felt
One too many events
Tearing me at the seams

I feel it in every cell
In every nerve
Burdening my brain
Beyond others' comprehension

Yet my prayer
That everyone
Get what they
What they
All along

I wish for all
Of love
By birth
Or work
To have
Happy healthy
Especially in

May they all get
Their dreams
May they all
Have their fairy tale
May they all know
They are free
Free to BE
Free from me
Free to do
They choose

May they all find
Their way
To their
Own source
May every last

May the wind
Always be at their backs
Sun shining brightly
Days going smoothly
Life living happily

May every single
In this world
Find that
In the
Easiest way

May the scales
May everyone
Each other
May people
Be kind to
One another

May women
Be respected
And acknowledged
For abilities

May both genders
See their own toxic
And forgive the other
For theirs

May all be at
In this world


~Treasa Cailleach

I just knew.

I just knew I had to. I don’t know why.

I sent an email today that I had debated on sending for months. I have done the “it sounds crazy”, “It sounds like this or that”, or “they won’t be able to hear me”. But today I just knew I had to.

I asked for guidance on my words. The intended recipient was the president of the company I worked for last. It’s a big small company. So, I sent it through the only other person I trusted to get the message through.

Who does that?

Who emails someone far more capable than oneself?

Who sends such a heavy message to someone I’m not supposed to even think would read my message?

I don’t know what that says about me, but I just knew I had to.

I hope the message is received loud and clear. I hope they understand the fullness of what it means. I hope they feel the light that it brings.

May you always know exactly what to say and when. May you see your light and how to shine it most brightly. May you know you are doing the right thing always. May you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Several hours later. I’m feeling anxious. I’m not sure why. I no longer work there. I’m no one. Why do I care if they acknowledge the message?

Because it’s not my message and God wants to be heard.

I am no one. I am nobody. Nobodies get ignored all the time. I did my best, and at this point I know I had a few typos- sometimes my intuitive nature causes them, I think because of layers of intent. So, there is no reason for them to take me seriously or even care that I emailed. My message has elements that could have been flushed out more, explained more, but I was attempting to be as concise as possible and get the point across. The message is only as good at the sender, so why did God choose me with my dyslexia and bad typing? Why did God choose a nobody?

That’s what is causing anxiety. A message that needed to be delivered to someone that obviously asked for it, and I was the vehicle. I hope it doesn’t bounce off of them.

More I hope that God understands I did my best.