Tag Archives: bliss

Beautiful

Watch “Hollow Coves – Moments (Gold Coast Acoustic Session)” on YouTube

This video is how I ended my day. I started my day with mantras.

In between I had a very heavy workday that almost tanked when fatigue and a conversation gone awry threatened my mood in a most significant negative way. I briefly dipped into not wanting to live in a world full of fear and people that don’t want to really live, convinced they must be afraid of shadows of the unstoppable. After shedding tears in my office alone, I talked myself part way out focusing on there has to be something to live for. It was enough to have an adequate session with my last client. Then on the way home I stopped at Minor Park in south KC.

The goal was to clear everyone else’s negative out and even some of my worst fears.

I sat at the base of a tree and watched and listened to the river flow. It was beautiful and relaxing and the tree helped me ground well.

While sitting there I learned a plant I was looking at was not the helpful Angelica but Hemlock and deadly poisonous. I am grateful for modern technology and it’s ability to answer most any question from most any location. I’m also grateful that I was not the one that discovered Hemlock to be so deadly, and sent a prayer of thanks for those that sacrificed their lives eons ago to save generations to come.

As I sat grounding, releasing, contemplating and learning, 3 damselflies landed on me. One at a time, each lingering just long enough for me to get the bright idea to try and get a picture. As soon as I would swipe the camera icon- off they would fly.

Some moments are solely for the observer and not meant to be captured.

Walking back to my car I noticed a whole area of wild strawberries. I stopped and picked a ripe one, it was so delicious even in it’s tiny wildness. I lingered and picked a whole handful. It provided a massive appreciation for our ancestors. Once upon a time that was what was considered an amazing treat: 15 minutes stooped over picking tiny morsels of delight.

Now we can just go to any of a number of stores and pick from rows of berries; organic, or not, whichever you want. They are much larger and much sweeter, and much harder on your system if you lack the control to know what one serving is. I have learned that the hard way. I’m very grateful for the accessibility of modern cultivated healthy foods, and even more appreciative that I’ve learned control, before it was too late for my body to heal. I look forward to days when my body can handle the large servings again, but with knowing better so I won’t hurt myself again.

After savoring my tiny handful of wild bliss, I continued on to my car.

As I neared I saw a very large bird drop from the tree to the ground just inside the wild untamed areas. I wanted to know what bird I saw, and cued up my camera as I walked closer. As I neared a jogger rushed by and scared the bird back up into the tree. I hit the camera button as fast as I could and thought for certain I had caught the bird in a picture.

I had not, as if to emphasize the message of the damselflies.

I walked even closer hoping to snap a picture of it sitting on the tree limb. I was almost in view and it took off into the forest. Again my picture taking abilities failed. However, I did figure out it was a great horned owl, out for my viewing pleasure, and over 2 hours before sunset. That is such a wonderful treat.

Again I am super appreciative of the moment, a rare treat to see a big beautiful raptor, relatively close and when they are supposed to be sleeping. I’m also glad no small pets were present as owls that large do like to eat little fluffy creatures.

It is all part of life.

Beauty, tranquility, peace, and even potentially hazardous, even deadly things are all part of life.

I choose to be grateful for living and finding my way around and through the scary and hazardous things. I choose to let God heal my body and keep me safe from further harm. I would love to see the rest of the world find that alignment, but that is not something I can affect or control. I now know that I am not perfect at maintaining my alignment, but once I falter, I now know how to climb up much more quickly and effectively. For all of that knowing I am eternally grateful.

May you find your moments of bliss. May you have a knowing that life is not only worth living, but worth savoring too. May you know that your eyes and ears are tools for a far greater observer than that of your human self. May you appreciate all the special moments that are just for you. May you know that God would rather you be surprised and delighted than living in fear. May you know that you are generally safe and your time to go is only when you desire a different vantage point that your current body can’t facilitate. May you know that God loves and supports you regardless of the name you call God or the language you use.

Siva Hir Su

Spinning like a top.

Tonight I write as I work on drifting to sleep. The goal to empty my head, to calm my mind, so that I can sleep.

I feel at the moment as though my head is spinning as fast as a dradel.

This month I’m on a ride, I think I dove straight into that fast spinning vortex Abraham talks so much about, and I’m definitely holding on for the ride to resume normal.

Quick recap of previous bumps: depression cycles, miscarriage, Anya succumbing to depression, losing my mind thrice over with manic in between, sinus infection taking me down a notch, and discovering I’m actually still pregnant with the other “twin” 8 weeks along.

Oh, but it gets better. After yesterday’s news, I asked my one building if they were still interested in having me in their team. They had given me a sort of impromptu walk in interview last week when I went to do my regularly scheduled chair massages. They responded that the position might have been filled and send my resume anyway.

I received the call at 9am that the position was mine if I wanted it, I gave a tentative yes. By 10am I’d filled Nathan in, and confirmed my acceptance to start on the 22nd.

 By noon I’d rescheduled most but not all of my massage work. I have 2 buildings left to permanently reschedule, and 2 individuals will likely get permanently dropped. Everything else I found homes for in my new schedule. And I still managed to complete most of today’s actual originally intended work.

The new schedule starting the 22nd will be full 10 hour work days Thursday through Monday. 1 half Tuesday per month, & Wednesday’s will likely end up filled, but only half for work (pm will still be family activities).

So I’ll essentially be working 6 long days a week. While pregnant, and yes the new job knows I’m expecting. They really, really wanted me.

It felt really nice to have a respectable employer want me that much. It validated my thoughts about my mad skills.

The pay is lower than hoped, but Nathan pointed out I was interviewed on the spot before I submitted a resume, which generally speaks to how highly they regard me. In addition, they’ve already pointed out that within 6 months I could work toward increases equal to half again the base/starting rate, potentially reaching over 15 an hour. Plus it has benefits, and I could keep all of my massage work that I chose to.

It was just really, really easy and very convenient, with perfect timing. I couldn’t have asked for a better solution for the moment (exception being winning a lottery jackpot).

 I spent the rest of the day thanking the Lord/God/Shiva/Jesus & the divine in general.

I’ve already broached moving back to the city, or at least much much closer with Nathan. He understands my concerns especially with being pregnant and now working so much. He’s not fighting me, but we need to discuss and work out an agreement on details. I’m hoping that as we do that, something will show itself equally easily.

We’re suddenly in this space of knowing that every time we make a specific request it’s like we get a very direct, very easy response from the divine.

At this point I’m just doing my best to keep up, still needing to invoice, finish paperwork for Anya to see someone, and now tomorrow fill out new hire paperwork, plus a dozen odds and ends that we’d intended a while ago.

Oh, that was the other thing. I mentioned ages ago that I thought I was being nudged to get passports in order. I thought at that time Anya’s was in our fire box with her birth certificate. Apparently the grandma still had it from the trip to Brazil before her mom died. I had no idea. But the divine did and somehow solved the problem. Grandma literally gave us the expired passport with the money to renew it when she brought Anya back Tuesday. None of us asked, but poof, exactly what was needed.

See what I mean. Hang on for the ride and do your best to keep up. That’s all. Everything else is just falling into place. 

The only one I’m waiting for is my friend to show up, I keep seeing him looking out a plane window. I don’t know when, he hasn’t said anything to me, but I know it’s soon. It makes me happy to think of it.

And on that note, I’ll drift off to sleep thinking happy thoughts of new homes and cute boys showing up out of nowhere.

To float.

My moment now. 

I have contemplated taking a hiatus from my blog, from a lot really. I’ve been over thinking things I think, or at least over wording them.   

With all my oscillating I’ve spent a significant amount of time meditating and doing things to redirect and pull my vibration back up. It has caused some hermitage on my part.  My posts of late have been much shorter and to the point as a result. 

AND that’s okay. 

Today and yesterday have been mostly good for me,  but it seems that be it collective consciousness vibrations or actual astronomical effects,  there seems to be a special intensity happening.  It seems every time I get even the slightest negative it amplifies quickly and seems to cause nearly immediate not-so-good manifestations.  On the flip side when I stick to the positive, I’m still noticing the amplitude and quick manifestations as well.  So, I’ve done my level best to focus that way, and been mostly successful.

Today,  I started groggy & slow, stressed a bit about running a few minuets late.  Then my 1st lady was in the hospital and 2nd lady decided to skip today.  So I took 20 and readjusted my vibration.  The rest of the day went better, but I’m down 2 more residents,  so work ended up being short & sweet. I’ve refocused several times to acknowledge my work has always had ebbs and flows in quantity of residents & resulting appointments,  and there’s usually not really that much time in an ebb. It’ll all be okay.

I listened to Hicks on  a 20min “lunch” break,  and now that I’ve finished up at my building, I sit in contemplation in the beautiful weather. I know I have 1 more,  an apartment home visit,  but I’m am hour ahead of schedule,  so I’m taking half of it for me, which will still put me ahead of schedule. 

I currently feel very good.  Like anticipating hearing very good news,  though I have not a stitch of evidence to validate it. BUT that’s okay too.

I’m simply doing my best to stay with that feeling, and allow anticipation. I have short moments of anxiety because I don’t know what I’m anticipating,  and really I have no idea what I’m going to do next (in the grander game of life meaning).  I have moments of feeling lost and like I should be doing something.  Shouldn’t I be acting more?! My brain keeps nagging me with that.  Then I pause and refocus… just stay with the good feelings at all costs… anticipation is good,  happy is good… good feelings precipitate good things. That’s my ultimate goal, the good manifestations of my vortex,  already chaulk full of amazing requests, I’ve just got to allow it all in. AND that means feeling good at all costs. 

So,  10 min remaining of sunshine and breezes and mindfullness, before heading to my last appoinment. That is good…. and here comes Woofy, one of the resident’s dogs. 

Super friendly and always happy to receive a pet or two. Instant validation.  Stay happy. 

Finally,  my son is now 3 years old: that’s not only a really good reason to master this law of attraction thing to be a stellar example;  but also it’s a great thing to use to find more happy- a beautiful-smart-healthy 3-year-old boy has made it this far because of  me and Nathan & his big sister. Absolutely giddy making. Mmmm good.