Tag Archives: burn

Letters.

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I heard another message. “Write goodbye letters”.

I figured it was intended for those about to leave my world for the afterlife. So then my question was who’s the 3rd, it could be one of a couple people, and none of the options seem good to me. They aren’t people that have lived long happy lives and are ready to go, like my parents claim.

So then my mental response was “I guess I’ll just write to everyone, just in case”, and for anyone I’m fairly certain is staying in this world, I’ll just thank them for everything I can think of.

At this point in the day I’ve accomplished one and I’m about to sit down and work on the rest. I’m betting there will be tears shed.

Additionally, I just finished utilizing the broken furniture from my children’s destructive stress, to burn and release the old, to allow for new to come in. I symbolically added an object that has been on my alter since a little over a year ago, to symbolize a particular element needing let go of. I also added two statues that symbolize the same element in my life. After I finish my letters to family (et all), I’m going to make photocopies of them, to burn for myself in our fireplace. It will help release those elements as well.

It is perfectly fitting of a new moon on the new year. Release the old to be able to welcome the new, in the dark of momma Gaea’s withdrawn lunar phase. The nights of the lunar phase where momma hides the reflection of the masculine sun. There is nothing quite like the symbolism, the momentum, and energy of this moment. It is very soothing and very cleansing.

I look forward to finding out what my new year brings now that I am able to release so much.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. May peace be with us always. Om Shanti.

The fireplace burn goal is for sometime tonight or tomorrow, while we’re still in the new moon phase. The letters will be mailed to the intended recipient as soon as they are complete, so everyone will receive them within a few days.

My other message was too sit back, relax, and wait patiently. Time will tell what the messages and actions of this week meant for me and those I was told to write to: cards, emails, letters and all.

May you trust and know that everything is going to be okay. May you know that you are free to be yourself and all that means. May you know your messages are exactly what was needed and requested by your recipients. May you know every word can carry deeper meanings that you may never know the fullness of. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Hard labor weekend…

So this weekend we finished filling the dumpster.  A fair amount of stuff from under the trailers didn’t fit, but the dumpster is overflowing.  

Burned the burnables- that was fun!

 I made a new fire pit so the old one could get the metal bits sifted out. 

Trampoline got moved where the main pile of trash used to be. 

Swing moved by the fire pit. Umbrella deployed over swing.  Aquarium turned table to one side of the swing (planning on putting lights in it). Ice bucket table on the other side of the swing. The tires behind the swing will be squash/watermellon/pumpkin planters, but I ran out of steam. That’ll have to happen next week sometime. 

Gardens got planted. Some stuff from last year’s garden came back:  bulbs,  sage, thyme, a small cilantro, parsley, yucca, & a few of the flowers.  I planted seeds in new dirt for everything else. View of Gardens from the swing:

Part of the yard got mowed & general cleanup started. It feels so much better out here! This is progress.  I love progress. 

Burn f*^#er Burn

So today was a “miss work to get some home work done finally” day. I succumbed to renting a roll away dumpster since it seems I’ve permanently lost my utility trailer to the hauling of water.  The roll away cost as much to rent for a week as the utility trailer cost new at Harbor Freight. Oh well, what’s $400 dollars anyway, right?!

New utility trailer last spring ($460)- got used to haul trash twice & otherwise has been restricted to water. 

Dumpster today ($400) 4x8x10 ft (only 4 feet longer not quite 2 feet taller than the trailer)

Furthermore,  I spent the morning distracted so actual labor finally commenced at 11am, despite receiving the roll away at 8:30. I’m prepping to head to choir/orchestra practice now,  so we had to wrap up at 3:30.

This is what it used to look like, before burning our contribution of remodel remnants:

& this is from while we were burning before,  but is a better idea of where we started  today: 

So, that makes 4.5 hours of labor, of which Nathan and I both busted ass to get as much done as possible, so it was really hard labor. If I was able to pay myself what I get paid at work, I’d have made $180, and Nathan would have made $90. 

Oh well…. $400 dumpster and $270 lost wages, just to remove mostly other people’s trash. *scowl*

(Notice my horribly mismatched clothes – that was because they were garments I wouldn’t be afraid of trashing if need be.)

The up-side is we’re  finally seeing it disappear. Over a year later,  with no help from the family that caused the pile. Can you tell I’m having difficulty finding gratitude over that one?

This is what it looks like after the 4.5 hours, almost complete with giant burn pile started:  

I am grateful it’s going away,  and it feels much better without the litter on the land. I am very glad we’ll have a yard again. 
What’s left when the cleanup is done will be a very large burn pile of wood products, and an equally large pile of scrap metal which I’ll probably end up hauling off inside the van. 

 I very much look forward to watching the wood burn this weekend.  THAT will be a good time.  THAT will feel better too. THAT makes me happy. 

In the midst of all of it, I got to stop & play with a Red Bellied Snake, & at the end of the day whilst cleaning up, I got to take a few min to absorb some wonderful sun on all my skin. THAT makes me happy as well. 

 Finally,  the purging has already begun.  We started the day by putting our mattress in the bottom of the dumpster, along with some soft goods. Sunday was wash everything we own at the laundromat day, and we’ve sprayed our bedroom and bathroom with horribly toxic chemicals which I got at home depot just for bedbugs.  I got 3 different gallon spray containers,  and we’ve used one and a half so far,  plus a quart & half of rubbing alcohol.  I’m pretty sure the house is extremely flammable right now,  & Nathan agrees,  so he’s asked me to quit talking about wanting to burn it down. I said fine,  with the qualifier that the dumpster needs topped off with anything that will fit (which might not be much because of the massive amount of trash we cleaned up today).

*sigh* Relief sometimes is difficult in the arrival.