Tag Archives: calm down

Cold weather gratitude.

I wanted to take a moment to express gratitude.

The cold weather this week brought some snow and ice and made roads very crappy. I’m at work 20 min early because I left early assuming I might still have to deal with slick roads and drivers that don’t know how to handle it. Fortunately today the roads were minimally impacted.

Yet the last 3 days has made me aware of how much skill I have in driving that many here in KC don’t.

I grew up in Iowa and learned to drive on snowy roads early. Then my best college job was driving busses for the university while I was a student there. I learned very well how to handle any vehicle on slick roads.

I still remember driving a bus with bald tires up pentecrest hill, having my two passengers stand over the rear duels knowing that their weight was really fairly insignificant. I snaked my way up the hill at 5 mph until I finally crested the top and radioed base for a bus with better tires.

I also remember driving a bus when an ice storm hit mid shift. My next to last round of the route I lost traction heading downhill towards a major intersection. I steered the bus into the curb and let the curb stop the bus to avoid accident.

Now as an adult driving in KC weather is only nerve wracking because of other drivers. Monday night I left work and it took almost an hour to do my normally 20 min commute. I crept past cars in yards and on medians. Driving mostly in second gear, because even in an automatic transmission, I know how to down-shift. One hill about 2 miles from home was so slick that people were spinning wheels and going nowhere. Again I downshifted and stuck to the curb to make it up the hill.

Yesterday morning was a repeat, and when the hill had everyone stuck and traffic blocked, I wedged past and crept through the side streets to clear the clog.

I am so grateful that I have so much driving experience that I can navigate my way through messes like that unscathed. Especially since my whole family loves our new-to-us van so much.

The only thing it caused was an excess of nervous anxiety from having made the treacherous treck multiple times. As a result I opted for yoga to calm and center.

Monday night at home, and Tuesday in office, I did the routine linked below. I think it’s my favorite of all the ones I’ve done. It’s faster paced for good burn, and there’s still a few challenging moments where I’m like “You want me to do what?!” Or “Yea, that’s totally not happening (handstands)!” Even with those moments, it helps me to ground and center and feel better.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the yoga video as much as I do.

May you have driving confidence and know your skills. May you know how to ground anxiety and jitters from stressful moments. May you always be safe. May you know that God loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Slowing down.

I fell again yesterday….. Again! …. Right?!

The chiropractor was kind enough to adjust me again today, and provided a reminder I need to slow down and be conscious of caring for myself. I replied “I know, I promised I would slow down, but it’s so hard when I’ve spent so many years trying to do everything.”

It is though, falls are always God’s attempt at slowing me down. Sadly, or is it thankfully, they always work. So tonight I’m nursing angry muscles, partly from the fall and partly from the corrective adjustment. As I lay with a tennis ball wedged against my left psoas muscle, I’m catching up on watching notification videos, and the following was a powerful one.

Watch “Jacob Lee – Oceans (Official Music Video)” on YouTube

I really feel that one. Sometimes I do feel exactly how the singer did, especially in these crazy times where fear over a singular disease has caused all of society to cease real living. But it seems I’m getting better and better at finding my source, my inner always present divine half. The half that never leaves me, but sometimes it’s awfully hard to see or feel.

I went nearly 2 decades fighting off suicidal depression, and in the last five years I’ve found alignment more than not. I still have boughts of severe depression, but they’re shorter and shorter now, knowing all of my triggers and how to fix being in the hole. That information is priceless and I still look forward to the day I find total healing and those days disappear altogether.

I know I’m on the right track, and right now I’m literally throwing every tool I know at finding healing. It’s part of the reason God wants me to slow down, I am doing so much I probably need to give myself a breather and let my system catch up.

It made me a little mad though because I’ve now missed two days of workouts, the fall happening 90 min before my projected workout, and the aftermath making exercise a physical impossibility.

At one time I hated exercise because it was so difficult for me, now I miss it. At one time I hated running because it was so hard, no I look forward to making friends with it knowing it’s starting to help. At one point I hated cilantro, now I love it for it’s detoxifying effects having started the healing in my brain. There are so many things that I have a much much greater appreciation for, all because they help me feel better and they are slowly healing my brain and my body.

I wish that for everyone.

Beyond my gratitude over those solutions, I have immense gratitude for all of the people, current and past, that have helped me find solutions or fix me when my efforts are not enough or applicable (especially the chiropractor today). Those people that rescued me when I needed it most. Many were one time helpers, few have helped me repeatedly, but all were pricelessly valuable.

May you all see your worth. May you love your gifts from God. May you understand your challenges and love the solutions. May you live life to the fullest, and know that food is a tiny fraction of what that means. May you give back to the divine by helping others find the solutions they need. May you show gratitude for the people in your life that help you implement those solutions. May you love exercise and all of the things that enable you to live a greater life. May your greater living not only be more enjoyable, but of greater assistance to the world. May we all work together to create a better world for us all.

Siva Hir Su శివ హిర్ సు

Call for a sanity gathering.

I would love for everyone to take a chill pill, because the world as it is right now is so crazy it’s causing suffering for all, but as Nathan pointed out that is not my responsibility. I cannot change another’s choices or experience. I cannot expect people to rise above fear because there will always be those that choose to live in fear- and then die more quickly because of it.

So, I personally call for those sane people that wish to LIVE life fully to gather together and support each other. I know we’ll catch flack from the fear mongerers for doing so, but I believe it is worth the risk.

I simply can’t stand living in a world where people are so afraid of everything: their shadow, touching others, being too close to others, so afraid of a disease that they forget the millions they survived, that humanity has survived. They forget that every thing that is, can be, or has been touched has germs- remember salmonella salald. They forget that even things that you don’t touch can have germs- the last lysteria outbreak was because of a ventilation system on a building. You simply can not prevent disease, you can only control how you respond to it. Prep your body to kick ass.

“Death is the one game you can’t loose, everybody wins eventually.” ~ Sadhguru

If I want that particular win to be in the distant future, then I have to choose to win at life first.

Living life involves going, doing, touching, being in this world. Connecting with people means sharing, caring, kindness, expressions of all of that involve touch. That is a world that I feel loved and supported in, and I’m okay with the risks, I generally feel safe in that world.

The idea of being responsible for another’s illness is also quite ludicrous. The life cycle of a virus (really any disease) means that at some point we all have unknowingly spread a disease, it’s impossible not to, and many of us are carriers that never get sick, our immune system is too strong to even show symptoms. Yet, those that came in contact with a virus and do get sick have weaker immune systems. It is not my responsibility to fix your immune system, I’m busy being concerned about my own. Just as it is not my responsibility to stay home because you are afraid of getting sick. If you are afraid, you stay home.

We are all responsible for our own wellness, and regular good hygiene is a key factor in that, it doesn’t take a pandemic for me to practice good hygiene. Beyond good hygiene, there are many, many things that have been proven in repeated studies to help your immune system, which I am always happy to share my knowledge of, but it is still your responsibility to utilize that knowledge. Vitamin C (orange juice), Vitamin D, multivitamins/multiminerals, lavender, colloidal silver, grapefruit seed extract, olive leaf. There are many other things that are believed to help but have less evidence: homeopathic medicines, oregano, turkey tail/mushroom belnds, even vaccines.

Yes, vaccines have very little data individually to prove their efficacy. At this point vaccines are widely accepted enough that they follow a formula in creating them and don’t usually test much, especially if they are trying to rush a vaccine as they are with this covid19 virus. I would be surprised if they test the covid19 vaccine at all. In fact vaccines are the only medical procedure/drug that is exempt from thorough testing procedures.

And quarantines are not this stupidity we have going. My own mom was quarantined as a child for Scarlett Fever. A real quarantine is the infected individuals are sequestered and limited to necessary care by a strict few individuals that take proper extra precautions. The rest of society is allowed to function normally. My mom lived through Scarlett Fever, and worked as a licensed practical nurse for decades. This was her response on Facebook (Nathan took the screenshot for me, still not being on FB myself):

So take responsibility for yourself. Figure out how to help your body heal itself. Keep your fears to yourself and allow society to regain balance and functionality. I’m not speaking from overconfidence, I am speaking from rational reasonable knowledge and I am not alone. We did not do this for SARS with a 15% death rate, we did not do this for West Nile, or Zikka, or bird flu, or swine flu. Even Ebola, with  50% death rate, which turned the Congo into a giant concentration camp, is still present and infecting people. There is no evidence to support the necessity of this level of response for this disease. Be reasonable, be responsible for the elements that are yours and let go of what others are doing.

So I am going to continue living life. I am going to continue going, doing, touching, being in this world. I am going to keep connecting with people which means sharing, caring, and kindness. I’m going to continue to do my job as a licensed massage therapist, and being a caring, kind human, which all involve touching. I am going to keep living even with the risks, but that is life itself. Life is risky, but the benefit comes in taking risks. I will let others be alive and ultra safe in their electronic boxes full of fear. I am going to heal my body fully as God intended and I am going to enjoy my life as much as I can. My brain no longer gets to tell me otherwise, I will reach for joy even in the toughest times.

This week I worked some, said a prayer for one of my old ladies that died from a stroke on Monday, did a fair amount of art, hugged and kissed and cuddled with my husband, kids, and cats. I snapped at a few people over the crazy and got pissed off over taxes, but then I pulled up and assembled our trampoline for my kids to play on. I even played amateur plumber to my son’s cardboard antics with one of the toilets- lots of germs there. Did I get sick? NO! Because I know how to clean up after myself and practice good hygiene. You should too.

So, may you have good enough hygiene to really live life and know you are generally safe. May you know that no one wants to get sick, but it’s not the end of the world. Even if it’s your time to go, it just means transition to non-physical, the world and humanity will continue to exist. May you know that there are far worse things in reality than Covid19. May you know that regular life is worth living and worth the risk. May you overcome fears and enjoy your days here. May you be loved, supported and know you are blessed. May you feel the light of God and choose better, choose enjoyment and joy. May you help shed light on the darkness and help everyone know their safeness.

Siva Hir Su