Tag Archives: celebrating

Gratitude is good.

Today I express gratitude for my health.

I gave 2 very deep tissue massages intended to fix knees and related woes, then walked 10,000 steps and did 20 minutes of weight lifting. All of this and I still did 2 more hours of lighter massage.

The lifting let me see that I had mostly maintained or improved my strength despite having slacked on going to the gym for almost 2 years. I had only lost ground on the leg press by 5 pounds, resulting in a 195 lb lifting capacity. Everything else either maintained or went up. My arms were where I saw the increase, and triceps had gone up by 10 pounds since last lift. That was a happy dance moment. All these deep tissues are building my strength.

I’ve also brought all of my blood sugars all the way back to normal, even with sugary holiday foods. The adjustments I’ve made have fixed my biggest concern. Maybe that’ll mean the weight will finally start dropping.

I also express gratitude for my children and family time.

Yesterday was Halloween, All Hallows Eve, All Saints Day, Samhain. My children dressed as a lady demon, The Flash, and a ladybug. We trick-or-treated briefly and then spent time with friends including kids of same ages. It was a good time full of fun, and of course Katherine causing mischief.

Additionally, I express gratitude for downtime and holy days.

This coming Sunday will be my first bonified day of downtime in a month. I worked 2 Sunday’s and had the wedding in between, so this Sunday is do what I want *squeals with delight*. What does that mean… I plan on working on the dome design some more, maybe doing some beading, and we discovered the local temple is holding their Diwali festival this Sunday (I was afraid I missed it because of working last Sunday), so yep I’ll be there. I look forward to a celebration of unity and oneness. Right here at home.

Furthermore, I’m grateful for my husband keeping all the parts moving despite the oldest child being gone a lot for sleepovers and other fun stuff with friends.

Finally, I’m extremely grateful for sick burns of cheeto head and humor in general. (Nathan shared these with me by text from his Facebook, since I’m not on Facebook to do a direct share.)

May you find humor, enjoy your family, have restful enjoyable celebrations and plenty of downtime. Finally, may you see your good health and all your efforts paying off.

Siva Hir Su

It does feel like home.

It’s not my home, and at the moment I wouldn’t have a clue as to how to attempt to make it become so, but this place is so beautiful. It makes me know that my dream of Atira is possible, and though I am in mountains near the ocean, is not the same mountains I’ve seen in my dreams of Atira.

Our cabin is so far out and so far down in a valley that even the new cell tower a mountain over is not providing any more than spotty service. My phone will only do calls and texts without WiFi. The main Lodge does have WiFi available now which wasn’t available in previous years, but it’s unsecured and at certain times of the day everyone wants to partake in it.

I have not minded any of that inconvenience because it’s so beautiful here. It also helps that our “cabin” is as spacious as our actual home in KC, just formatted differently.

We went to Acadia NP on Tuesday and I hiked for hours stopping to let kids play on Sand Beach. I think we covered about 1.25 miles of coastline out and back, but there was abundant rock climbing to be had, so I’m sure my steps were more like 4 miles, maybe more. We made it to Thunder Hole from Sand Beach before my shoulder and back started screaming from having been wearing both Katherine and a backpack full of diapers and snacks. We decided to call it quits on walking/hiking but returned to our van and made several more stops for viewing pleasure. By the end of the day I’d gotten a significant sunburn that was mildly uncomfortable, so I spent that evening coating myself in lavender and aloe to heal it up.

The teens went with my brother and his wife on an epic 4 mountain hike, covering over 5 miles of trails and taking nearly 6 hours. Anya said she loved the views, but it was a bit much for her, and was nearly in tears asking if she could have just a little Beach time before we drove away. We took her to otter cove just as the tide was coming in and she was happy as clam.

I told her we’d head back at least once before our vacation was up and she was much relieved.

That is today. We’re due to pull out in an hour or 2 to go ride the Margaret Todd ship and explore Bar Harbor which apparently also has a beautiful sandy beach to walk on. My brother explained at low tide the beach connects to a small island with waking trails. I’m so looking forward to it.

My brother’s wife explained that you can’t see it all in one trip, they’ve been coming here for one week of every summer for 7 years and still haven’t done it all.

For now I’ll leave you with some pictures of Acadia and our cabin at the military campground in Great Pond. May you all have beautiful experiences that feel like home.

Cabin & surroundings:

Acadia:

Finally, after our busy couple of days, I enjoyed drinks and dinner with my family during a rain shower from the cabin screened in porch. I ate and drank too much that I shouldn’t have, so felt the aftermath this morning, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself last night. Sunburn and all. Happiness.

P.S. I’ve felt my connection very strongly over the last couple of days, and hoping it means something super wonderful. May you all feel your connections of clarity and bliss.

Giving in sometimes equals happiness.

So last update I was stressing so much that I accidentally took a nail to the finger. I’m happy to report it’s healed perfectly and is barely noticeable.

To that end Nathan & Hannah made strides to complete things, & got everything close enough that I was able to conceed that the rest could be done at a later date.

Ian’s room at that point looked like this:

Essentially all that is left is part of the window trim, the one panel at the end of the furnace, trimming a few carpet squares, and finishing his furniture arrangement.

At that point I knew baby was ready for me to be ready, so I pushed to prep for birth. We put a rug on top of Ian’s carpet square floor for extra padding, tarps to keep water off the rug, and set up the birth tub & supplies. That was Friday night, & this was the results:

We covered the tub with blankets & construction scraps because Buddy Cat wanted to play on/in it and we were afraid he’d pop it.

We casted my belly for memories (Ian’s was a duct tape cast the didn’t last, so this one we used plaster) and I did some henna (wanted to do more, but ran out of time & energy):

Saturday brought much pelvic discomfort & baby pushing lower.

Sunday morning at work early labor/ Braxton-Hicks contractions started & remained through out the day, never getting regular, & intensity being mild.

Sunday evening I headed straight home from work skipping my evening massage client, and I’m glad I did. About 6:30pm I sneezed and my water broke.

Ian’s water didn’t break until right before he was born, so it took a conversation with the midwife and another BH contraction to know for sure that’s what happened. I asked if I should do anything to encourage real contractions and she said no, since I’d worked all day it was better to rest and that contractions would come on their own.

She was right, by 8pm they were increasing in strength and about 8 min apart, and by 9pm my plug turned loose.

A little after midnight they got into the 4 min apart range, & my midwife & her assistant arrived shortly after. Baby was doing fine and I was allowed to get in the tub. Somewhere around 1:30am I began dozing off in between contractions, & my pace slowed. A contraction around 2am woke me and I realized I was cold & very tired. Everyone helped me out of the tub & got me dried & warmed up. They checked my progress and discovered I was only dilated to about 4cm, a long ways to go. I told them I was sure it was because baby knew I was so tired. My midwife agreed and I was put to bed with a disclaimer to sleep as much as possible and to let her know when they picked up again.

Contractions spaced about 15 to 20 min apart for the rest of the night and into the morning. I slept in the gaps until about 11am, and Hannah made calls for my massage work on Monday and Tuesday letting them know I was in labor.

By 4pm I was able to eat enough to regain strength & stamina & contractions had again gotten to 4 min apart. We let the midwife know & her, assistant, and student headed over. The assistant was first to arrive and noted that I was doing great, took heart beat of baby and noted she was also going great. The assistant started prepping for birth organizing supplies as desired, and double checking everything was present & good to go. By the time midwife & student arrived I was in the final stretch. Contractions were closer together and super intense. Shortly after I noted that I could feel baby’s head working out. They asked me to differentiate between inner cervix and vaginal wall, and I specified cervix. About 4 contractions later I could feel head beginning to exit and reached down to feel baby’s hair and help stretch myself to ease baby’s head out. It took 3 more very intense pushes to get her head all the way out, and 2 more very intense pushes to get body out.

Baby was born & perfect… 8lbs 10oz. That’s 12 oz more than Ian- to be expected with the first & third trimester hormone/allergy induced high sugar battles. A few seconds of cool air out of the water & she coughed and fussed and began turning pink. All was well.

Dad didn’t get into the tub until baby was born, so he could hold baby in the warm water and help cut the cord. He put swim trunks on, so when it was time to get out, he was first to get out & work on drying off. Then he helped hold baby while I stopped at the potty & got comfy in bed.

Midwives checked me & baby out. I had no tears or significant abrasions, my blood pressure, temp, and oxygen were good. Baby was perfectly healthy per visual inspection, & good oxygen saturation. They’ll be back in 2 days for heart, heal prick blood test, and hearing test and follow up check, & birth certificate delivery.

For now, lots of snuggles in bed and nursing, & loves. No one has to go anywhere or do anything except eat, sleep, & rest.

Labor was longer than with Ian, and a bit more discomfort (probably because of her slightly larger size), but completely worth every minute of it. She’s beautiful and perfect and I couldn’t ask for more. Welcome to the world my little pure light, Katherine Jyoti.

I’m definitely in post birth bliss & everyone that’s seen her has gotten mushy & teary eyed. Now to let grandparents and everyone else know- 1 at a time. *Happy sigh*

Almost there.

So I’m inching closer to baby being here, and doing my best to inch closer to being done with room construction.

Last Tuesday I spent all day long- 5:30 am to about 7:30 pm completing the majority of the electrical needs for the new rooms. Anger, worry, and frustration got me started so early, and pure determination kept me moving.

I ran a new line for the 5 sockets/recepticals on the new wall, and used an existing line to split off for 3 new light fixtures & 2 other recepticals. With all of our low amp gadgets and toys these days, I figured the 20amp lines would do OK with those additions, especially since the light fixtures now have LED bulbs. The new line still needs set into the breaker box, and the ceiling fan (1 of the 3 fixtures) needs mounted, but everything else is complete.

The next step was to start installing panelling. Nathan started that and Hannah did her best to help, but neither had done it before, so there were some cutting errors. So last night I did my best to solve the errors to avoid needing to replace panels, and after a brief melt-down, managed to do so. We then proceeded to finish panelling the wall & Hannah and Nathan placed 2 panels in the kids room. Things are moving along.

All that’s left to call our master bedroom (2nd master for the house now) complete is to hang 2 panels, install the ceiling fan, mount all the trim, & hang a door (or 2) in the wide doorway. Nathan & Hannah said they’d try to get trim down today, & since I work all day ( until about 7:30pm), that’s a good thing. Whatever they don’t get to, I will get another chance Monday evening.

I will again have all day Tuesday as well, so perhaps we’ll be able to finish everything for real this time. If not, we at least have enough that we can set-up for birth & baby.

I am sooo looking forward to normal and calm returning. I have found a new level of functional exhausted that I previously thought was impossible; having had periods of functional exhausted several times in my life I thought I’d already experienced my limits. Yet, this time I have a more finite time frame to exist in this manner, and knowing the end is near and time off will be available, I keep persisting. All will pay off soon.

And now for the pictures…

Last view I showed in my previous post:

Hannah assembling our new bed… Nathan helped but stopped to snap a pic.:

Panelling in progress, with electrical already in place (apparently no one snapped a picture of me doing the electrical, or the end result):

Pregnant Me hanging panels:

New wall panels completed (outside & inside):

The dusty dingy look is the sawdust on the panels & it’ll wash of easily. It looks great & will look perfect once trim is up over cracks & ceiling/floor borders.

I will have something pretty for the first time in 2 years and I’ll have running water again. I honestly owe it to my personal faith in god and working with the Shiva & KaliMa archetypes these last 2 years. I asked for help in making things pretty again and the divine is doing just that. I’m ever so grateful. Everything is going to be OK and life is improving. Thank you. Siva hir su.

Holidays HappenĀ 

Happy holidays everyone.  So we had a good Yule and Christmas.

I initially tried to beat up on myself because our tree was bought & set up Friday night- 2 days after Yule & the night before Christmas Eve; and also because presents were fewer & much smaller (cheap &/or used/thrift) than I’d hoped.  However,  Nathan reassured me that it was fine, & that everyone would be happy regardless. 

The tree still only has lights on it,  but I think Nathan was right.  Ian seems ecstatic over his toys, being all small trucks, tractors, monster trucks, & construction equipment. He now has his own set of Blippi type toys, so he can play along as he watches his favorite YouTube educational videos. 

Beyond that he spent over 2 hours playing in the box of packing peanuts that was leftover from the grandparents shipment of gifts. It was adorable & he was so happy.  Sometimes the best gifts really are free. 

Anya almost cried over 2 pair of really cute boots I found at Savers Thrift.   She hadn’t thought I knew she liked boots so much & that she wanted more.  She was also very pleased that I got her more books from the Warriors series than she asked for. 

 I’m a firm believer that if a child shows interest in reading anything,  you get them access to as much of that as possible.  It encourages literacy.  So when Anya asked for 4 of the Warriors books, I maximized my dollars by going to Half Price Books and managed to come up with over a dozen,  completing 3 of the mini series’ & adding a couple of supplemental books. She was really excited about that. What she doesn’t know is that there will be quizzes later! Ha!

Nathan and I got mostly utilitarian items- socks, undies,  & shoes;  but Anya got me bath fizzy & Ian grabbed me fuzzy pj bottoms with skulls  all over them, which Nathan made sure were the right size. I was amazed & overjoyed that my children picked perfectly.  

We mostly spent hours watching Ian playing, taking breaks for eating occasionally. There was some tv time,  & lots of holiday music played.  With all of  my allergies,  baked goods were minimal,  but I got enough chocolate to make up for it!

All in all: a quiet,  small, immediate family only, laid back holiday weekend.  It was needed.  I even called my mom for the first time in ages. 

I heard very briefly from my beau online.  He said he’s been having a rough go of it lately,  so I then spent some time sending prayers and Reiki to him.  I hope the new year brings him many blessings and much clarity. I still don’t know why,  but I feel him when he’s thinking of me and my heart yearns to connect with him in person in an  intensity I’ve not known since meeting Nathan. I believe this connection will be important in the future,  and I’m feeling so strongly that I would say I’m in love. Nathan is totally supportive of me and listens to my worries and provides excellent feedback. Although,  he’s really enjoying mocking my giddy teen- like prissy-ness. He thinks my fidgets and worries and mild vanity are adorable. 

All I know is that I’m very impatient, but otherwise feeling spectacular about the possibilities that lie with him, and in general feeling much better about myself these days.  Though the latter I have to give credit to the therapy regimen, as it’s definitely causing real time improvements. 

Except for the fact that we’re still in a construction stall out, I feel like daily life has finally started on an upswing. For that I’m  very grateful. 

Happy holidays everyone!